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Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth
Sleuth's Maddest Prank Of The Month
We don't think the image at the top of this page is photoshopped. We just think it's frightening. And certainly stupid. Here's a man sliding down the outside of the Manchester Arndale escalator ramp. We never actually thought the Food Hall at Manchester Arndale was that bad. Or that anybody needed to do such a desperate runner. Or slider.
Let's hope the strange proclivities of this man don't catch on. Although the back of that Urbis looks like fun.
Massive Orderly Moles Infest Spinningfields
Sleuth couldn't believe his eyes yesterday. A family of disciplined moles had colonised the formerly green spaces of Spinningfields and produced a series of beautifully co-ordinated molehills.
More Enigmatic Heels
After these rather lovely but enigmatic shoes (click here) were discovered by Sleuth a couple of weeks ago, it appears there's an epidemic of the phenomenon. This week these shoes turned up on a city street. What is happening? Are ladies in despair over an unhappy purchase abandoning heels in the street?
Sleuth's Surprising Food
Sleuth popped into Urban Deva's food event with Tantra organisation, Shakti Tantra at the Mark Addy pub in the city centre - click here. He arrived at the end of the meal to a wonderful sense of well-being amongst the diners. Although he did wonder what had been going on when a gentleman walked passed and said, "In the dark I licked chocolate off the nose of a woman I didn't know." Sleuth also heard someone saying that parts of the meal had been fashioned by chef Robert Owen-Brown to look like body parts. Urban Deva herself showed him a picture - see below. Sleuth who is very innocent in such matters, asked, "Is it an ear?"
Still The World's Ugliest Statue Of A Woman Not For Sale In A Dodgy Garden Centre
We keep trying to give the World's Worst Set Of Sculpture award to other establishments across the world, but it's useless. The Trafford Centre wins again with it's terrible work from sculptors who obviously can't afford enough pink marble to fashion a full dress for their statues and have no skill in making the musculature of any of their females look vaguely convincing.
Mother Pushes Child Into Cannibal Choirs' Mouths
Sleuth was up in the Ribble Valley for a food tasting this week when he picked up the free fortnightly paper, The Castle View, and saw this shocking picture. How could this mother push this child into this cannibal choirs' mouths so enthusiastically?
The Kind Boy Of Bolton
Sleuth's most heartening picture of the week is below. What a lovely sentiment being expressed on that Bolton News A-board. Sleuth has no idea what the story's about and doesn't want to know because the paper might have been guilty of exaggeration and that would ruin it.
With the disappearance of Wikipedia for 24 hours on Wednesday Sleuth had to field anxious calls from several people in the media – indeed a helpline had to be set up for those who couldn’t cope.
Finally he asked Professor Paul Lagerism of Manchester University how he would define what was happening.
This was the emailed response.
‘There are two types of people in the world, broadly breaking down into these categories.
‘Wikiphiliac (noun): a) A person (journalist) who never had a proper education or read anything properly as a child; b) TV researcher who has to get a quick handle on a disease or ailment for a serious broadcast feature; c) Child, student with homework or thesis to hand in shortly.
‘Wikiphobiac (noun): a) Older person afraid of the internet; b) Intellectual snob who thinks cross referencing from at least ten credible sources is needed for every fact: c) Person who manifests both the previous characteristics, aka Brian Sewell.’
Sleuth was astonished, he picked up the phone and called the Professor for clarification. “I can’t give you any,” said the Prof, “Wikipedia’s down and I haven’t got a clue."
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22 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.
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crumbs.
That's got to leave a serious wedgie
I heard he flew off at the bottom and died.
No he didn't.
MINT!
why is there no-one one market street? what time was this taken???
That's one way of dealing with the both of the escalators only going up...
basically, he is just some little chav with nothing better to do than acting like a dickhead, and if he breaks his leg, its the taxpayer who picks up his bill
How can you tell he is a chav? And why can't you spell?
Not a chav. A student.
With no one on the street, is this a set up? How did he get there?
Erm... same way the photographer got up ther too I suppose.
And yet Mancon fetes the dickheads who break into buildings to take pictures from their roofs. The only difference between those dickheads and this one is that at least this dickhead has a chance of surviving the fall should he slip over the side, whereas the dickheads who break on to the likes of the top of the Beetham Tower are highly unlikely to survive when one of them falls. I guess this kid's just a scrote, whereas the other dickheads are middle class ones who buy expensive cameras and hence are cool.
Think I need a cup of tea...
All modern commercial buildings have fall defence systems (railings) during construction to prevent people (normally builders) from falling out of a building!
Oh Smitty - fetes? Read the words
Sorry sleuth, I had the rage last Friday for some reason (but I did read the words, I wasn't talking about you celebrating this little eejit, but rather the ones who go and be, like, really cool, by breaking in to the top of the Beetham Tower).
why the uproar about the lad having a good time?
Times are hard and challenging enough for a lot of people and he is having a good time...he is taking a huge risk yes - but with what...his own life. Hardly beating up old ladies for their pension money...
Good for him, at least he has balls (for now)!
I think it's hilarious. KILL JOYS ABOVE, EH?! If he breaks his leg or dies, it amounts to two things. Firstly, a retard tax. Secondly, natural selection.
And here is proof that people will whine and whinge about absolutely everything. What harm is this lad doing? Yes, it's a bit daft but who actually gives a toss? I suggest they put a crash mat at the bottom and offer free rides to the miserable sods on here.
No, for the miserable people, no crash mat. Just a mat for the happy folk!
Ha ha ha. I suggest the misery guts get pushed off the top and gunged at the bottom. That would make em think twice about moaning for no apparent reason ! Long live foolish danger and excitement...whee!
Stepping through that entrance to the Trafford Centre always puts me into a brief panic, thinking that I've somehow been transported to a conference centre in Florida. The effect is cancelled as soon as we emerge into the dining area, which is unashamedly British.