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Sleuth exclusive: interview with AC Milan

Our intrepid counter-culture journo, winner of the Foolitzer Prize for the last five years running, meets footy giants AC Milan

Published on March 11th 2010.


Sleuth exclusive: interview with AC Milan

Sleuth met members of the famous Italian team in the San Siro Residential Care Home prior to their visit to Old Trafford on Wednesday night.

The players were in good spirits.

Wayne Rooney and Clarence Seedorf

“People say we're too old,” said Dutch maestro, Clarence Seedorf adjusting his hearing aid. “But we know this is a good time to play United. Once the swelling in our knees has subsided we are well-capable of bursts of speed over a metre or more.”

Andrea Pirlo, the octagenarian midfielder, agreed. “Our new German forward Zimmer looks like he might be in the frame for a start-up. Coffindodger our Croatian fullback should be influential as well. With a bit of luck we can win easily.”

Andrea PirloRonaldinho

Ronaldinho, at one time the best player in the world, excused himself with a grin at this point, citing his 'old trouble.'

Filippo Inzaghi, the oldest forward in the world at 102, continued the theme reading from his large print version of The Old Almanac of Football Cliches.

Filippo Inzaghi

“What we have to do is get among them early doors, play our natural game, push up wide on the wings, close them down, pass and move and get some height in the box. Can I stop now I need a little lie down.”

Manchester United won the game 4-0 (7-2 on aggregate). Visiting hours are between noon and 4pm. David Beckham is a master of the long crossfield bus pass.

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Leigh ScottMarch 11th 2010.

No they didn't they won 4-0 ? EDITORIAL COMMENT: Sorry Scoteee our memories going. Changed now.

Scott NeilMarch 11th 2010.

Pirlo is a legend but cracking photos.

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