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Sleuth Wk 22: London’s Ceviche Comes To MCR And Other Stories

The Manchester absurdist thinks MCR life is interesting

Written by . Published on May 26th 2013.


Sleuth Wk 22: London’s Ceviche Comes To MCR And Other Stories
 

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth 

Ceviche From London Takes Tea In Manchester

Mr Scruff, co-owner of Teacup on Thomas Street has invited Soho restaurant Ceviche, a Peruvian number famous across foodie land, to conquer his kitchen on Wednesday 10 July. The main man Martin Morales from Ceviche is cooking and will also conduct a masterclass. Price for the masterclass is £75, or £48 for the meal alone, for 35 people. You also get a book thrown in, Ceviche Peruvian Kitchen (Weidenfeld & Nicholson, £25) for the ticket price. You can book at Ceviche Manchester. Sleuth has no idea what Peruvian food is so he might join in this very obvious vehicle for a book promotion, but if anyone dare play panpipes in a wistful way he'll grab the things and stamp on them repeatedly, shouting, "That's simply unacceptable in normal, decent society."

Sleuth's Most Convenient Vehicle To Park Outside A Suburban House

Sleuth has been filming a documentary about the River Irwell recently. No, honestly. Anyway up in Bury there's a stretch of river the film-makers were interested in that's next to a 'Brookside' housing estate. Outside one house was a hearse. How sweet, thought Sleuth, and so convenient, very roomy in the back for the kids to play in, and so good for clearing a way through packed traffic. And so appropriate it's parked outside a house in Bury. 

Hearse Avenue, Deathly Hollows, Bury-Me-DeepHearse Avenue, Deathly Hollows, Bury-Me-Deep

Sleuth's Best Instant Phil Neville Rumour Creation

Sleuth was on the tram the other day when a lady next to him pointed to Lower Mosley Street and said, "Is that Phil Neville jogging? Well I suppose he still has a flat for sale in Beetham Tower and he may live there from time to time. And what with Mike Phelan, Sir Alex Ferguson's number two, leaving Manchester United because ex-Everton manager David Moyes wants his own staff then this probably means that Phil Neville will become Moyes' assistant manager. Yes, that will be it, Phil Neville will be Manchester United's next assistant manager, and he's back in his old flat but keeping fit by jogging I must tell my partner he's a United fan and break the news to all his friends." "Impressive," said Sleuth, "but are sure that was Phil Neville?" "No," came Ms Sherlock Holmes' reply.

Phil Neville is putting his shirt on rumour becoming factPhil Neville is putting his shirt on rumour becoming fact

Contradictions And Aspirations

Sleuth thought this week's report that a famous Chinese restaurant had been fined for various hygiene issues including pest infestations was particularly poignant given the restaurant's name: Glamorous Restaurant. Glamorous mice. Yum.

Manchester Shines and Diddles Comes To Town

Cod love in AubaineCod love in AubaineSleuth was out and about in town on Saturday. With Guerilla Eats on King Street, races down Deansgate and the sun shining Manchester was looking wonderful.

Sleuth had a cracking pint of 'Fresh' ale at the Guerilla Eats tent, then took lunch in Aubaine in Selfridges where he's never had a bad meal. He loved an exquisite cod and salsify dish.

What was interesting about the day was that the tram extension had opened this week to Didsbury and was bringing in hundreds of people; the trams were packed. Just shows what a good public transport infrastructure can do.

Some Chorlton readers when they heard about the extension opening ahead of schedule on our Metrolink article, had ranted about 'trams now being full by the time they get to Chorlton making it difficult for us to get on'.

Selfish idiots.

That, you fools, is a sign of success, that's what we want. Should lead to more investment and a better service.

And anyway Sleuth is massively into frottage and gets so few opportunities on a day to day basis for enjoying this healthy harmless pastime. 

Sunshine on King Street with Guerrilla EatsSunshine on King Street with Guerrilla Eats

Let's Meat In The Right Pub

Sleuth loves meat but he’s never been very sure about meat auctions in pubs. Where does the meat come from? Aldi? Cast-offs from the local abbatoir? The field down the road at midnight ‘harvested’ by regulars? But Sleuth still thanks Claire from Mossley who sent this photograph in featuring a meat auction. He particularly likes the fact that the auction takes place in the Butcher's Arms. 

Offal offer of the weekOffal offer of the week

Cheapest Pub Prices In Greater Manchester?

Sleuth wonders if this pub in Droylsden has the cheapest prices of any in the region. Bitter £1.60. Lager £2.10. Confidential was once thinking of doing a regular feature visiting the suburbs one by one and enjoying their drinking establishments. The feature was going to be called Let's get pissed in...Prestwich or Bramhall or wherever. Maybe we should resurrect the idea and start in The Church in Droylsden. 

Cheap pubCheap pub

Roberto Mancini: Is He Still On The Droylsden Tram?

Speaking of Droylsden, when the tram line opened there in February this year the tram halts were announced by Manchester City stars and staff - the line passes Etihad Stadium of course. This was the Roberto Mancini voiceover for the Droysden stop. Perhaps it now says, "This is Roberto Mancini who used to be at Manchester City, the next stop is Droylsden and I'll be getting off and taking a fast chauffeur driven car to Manchester Airport." 

Sleuth's Progressive Landlady Of The Week Award

Sleuth was doing the Tour of Uninteresting Objects the other day - there's another coming up in June. He was next to the Commercial Hotel on Liverpool Road bemoaning the fact that this is the world's oldest railway hotel so why don't the management exploit this and make loads of money off railway geeks.

Jeremy Shine, one of the city's great festival providers with Manchester International Arts, was on the tour and said, "I once had some visitors staying at the rooms in The Commerical, different landlord and landlady then I think. When they came down for breakfast it was a full English and one of the guests said, "Could I have the breakfast without bacon because I'm a vegetarian?" The landlady slapped and said, "Don't be so ridiculous." It happened twice.

Tourers with Jeremy Shine and his beard, centre and at the backTourers with Jeremy Shine and his beard, centre and at the back

Sleuth's Best Spelling Mistake On The Side Of A Building

Every seven days or so Sleuth is stopped in the street by policemen, firemen, concierges, Mr Scruff, Martin Morales, Phil Neville look-alikes, Roberto Mancini's recorded voice, Undertakers, meat auctioneers and the complete audience of Guerilla Eats and asked, "Where is the best spelling mistake in Manchester up on a building?" 

"Why," says Sleuth, "that would be on the Opera House. When they re-painted the engraved names of famous playwrights they painted the name Vawblsh. Not Vanbrugh. I think it's Vanbrugh anyway, not heard of anyone called Vawblsh. Perhaps the signwriter wasn't a huge fan of plays."

And to prove the case about the spelling mistake Sleuth showed this picture to the policemen, firemen, concierges, Mr Scruff, Martin Morales, Phil Neville look-alikes, Roberto Mancini's recorded voice, Undertakers, meat auctioneers and the complete audience of Guerilla Eats. 

Best spelling mistake on a buildingBest spelling mistake on a building

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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

StephMay 27th 2013.

Phil Neville is going to Stoke as Assistant Manager.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousMay 28th 2013.

Stoke dont even have a manager so who is going to make that job offer...

StephMay 29th 2013.

How about the person who is lined up to become the manager. They've been speaking to Mark Hughes for the past week so is it inconceivable that he may have thought who he'd take with him?

AnonymousMay 27th 2013.

Droylsden is great for drinking. The Cotton Tree has plenty of shots.

AnonymousMay 27th 2013.

^ R D R R

suzyblewMay 28th 2013.

Cerviche is fantastic. Had a meal there a few weeks ago and just sent my Peruivan friend who loved it as well. Gutted I'm away on the 10 July!

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