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Sleuth Wk 15: Best Tea Shop In UK, Sun And Guardian Pick Out MCR Restaurants

The master of the oblique every week

Published on April 14th 2013.


Sleuth Wk 15: Best Tea Shop In UK, Sun And Guardian Pick Out MCR Restaurants
 

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth 

Cheshire Has The Best Tea Room In The World

Sleuth's delighted the Tea Guild has declared Davenports Tea Room in Northwich (click here) as the best place to have afternoon tea in the UK - see main picture at the top of the page. Head of The Tea Guild Irene Gorman said: “The attention to detail, quality of food, lovingly prepared by their team, who seek to ensure, where possible, that all food is sourced locally, and whose excellent knowledge and service of teas served, is second to none." Very sweet but take a sip of your tea next time Irene. Sleuth also loves the line in the press release about how the tea rooms 'produces eggs from speciality hens on site'. Sleuth would love to meet such a hen and ask it what its speciality is. Maybe kicky-ups. Or stamp collecting. Egg-laying definitely.

Pointless Statistic Of The Week

According to the Tea Guild 'we currently drink on average 165 million cups of tea per day. This apparently equates to roughly 60,225,000,000 per year'. Or something close to the national debt in pounds per week.

Rump'n'Ribs Spices Up Oxford Street

Gloomy predictions of continued recession don't seem to be putting off the would-be restaurateurs of the city. Coming soon is a Halal version of a steakhouse. The new place will sit in the Giovannis Deli site opposite the old Odeon (click here for the story on last week's Sleuth). A friend of Sleuth sent this picture saying, 'When I first saw the sign I thought it was a lap dancing bar featuring emaciated women.'

New place on Oxford Street, that isn't a lap dance barNew place on Oxford Street, that isn't a lap dance bar

City Shocked By New Burger Restaurant: Byron

Sleuth reckons people should avoid empty plots of land and vacant units across the city; if they stand around long enough a burger restaurant is sure to form around them and they'll find themselves standing in a vat of pulled pork. Burgermania is happening again on the corner of John Dalton Street and Deansgate where Byron, a London based burger restaurant with an indie ethos is opening (click here). This occupies the site of the unlamented Pesto and is one of the busiest locations in the city. Sleuth is sure it'll smash it but isn't sure about the relentless spreading (diluting, perhaps?) of Northern Quarter spirit across the city centre. 

Permission sought for ByronPermission sought for Byron

Nutter Bombs The City 

Black puddings from the heavensBlack puddings from the heavensSleuth was wandering through St Ann's Square when he saw the greatest living Rochdalian and the 422nd most prolific Tweeter on the planet, Andrew Nutter.

He was stood under one of Manchester company High Access's exceedingly tall cherry pickers.

"Hey Sleuth," called Nutter, "we're doing a shoot with the We Love MCR charity, involving models and black puddings. We're literally taking black puddings up in the world, lifting their reputation. Geddit. Just had an emergency though. We dropped some from twenty metres up and people were ducking as black puddings rained down on the city."

Sleuth had no idea why Nutter was doing this but thought it might be an interesting way to go. Make for a curious epitaph in any case.

Nutter holding his end of Manchester high - with his black pudding friendsNutter holding his end of Manchester high - with his black pudding friends

The Sun Shines in Manchester

The Sun newspaper has claimed the top five bars and restaurants in Manchester are Australasia, Rosso, The Alchemist, Grill on the Alley and El Rincon de Rafa. Sleuth loves these cobbled together lists but wonders how on earth Rosso got in there. What surprises Sleuth are the expensive tastes of the Sun demographic - Australasia, really? 

The Guardian Nicks Idea

This coming week we're doing the top twenty 'cheap eats' in Manchester, we advertised this three weeks ago and asked for suggestions (click here). Tony Naylor of The Guardian gazumped us last week with his list, which was a good one, including Common, Slice, Gorilla, Pancho's Burritos (Manchester Arndale), The Mark Addy, Habesha, This'n'That, Almost Famous, Kukooz, Vnam. The Mark Addy doesn't really qualify for cheap eats - odd that inclusion - although it could be in the list of 'reasonable eats'. But come on Guardian, says Sleuth, think up your own ideas, would you?

Sleuth's Advice: Where Should You Purchase Beer In Shopping Centres

Beer is goodBeer is goodEvery seven days or so Sleuth is stopped in the street by policemen, firemen, concierges, speciality hens, Sun readers, pulled pork vendors, Nutters, legions of tea drinkers and the complete cast of Cats currently playing at The Opera House, and asked "Where can we find a lively ale and beer bar in a shopping centre selling an astonishing range of local ales but no snacks as that would damage the interests of stall holders nearby?" 

"Why," says Sleuth, "that would be in the aptly named MicroBar in Manchester Arndale, close to the High Street entrance."

And to prove this he showed these pictures to the policemen, firemen, concierges, speciality hens, Sun readers, pulled pork vendors, Nutters, legions of tea drinkers and the complete cast of Cats currently playing at The Opera House.

Sleuth added: "And if you're going, try Manchester's Boggart Brewery and their I Am Beer, a light coloured brew that will suit all palates."

"We didn't ask that," said  the policemen, firemen, concierges, speciality hens, Sun readers, pulled pork vendors, Nutters, legions of tea drinkers and the complete cast of Cats currently playing at The Opera House.

Enjoying a Saturday afternoon the correct wayEnjoying a Saturday afternoon the correct way

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24 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Wall-EApril 14th 2013.

Byron is great and that location is good. It offers a family friendly vibe and better burgers than currently on offer in the city. I believe Lucha Libre will be open by the end of next month.

CharlieApril 14th 2013.

Do I get £25 for 'revealing' the Guardian story on the Cheap Eats page?

2 Responses: Reply To This...
SleuthApril 14th 2013.

Well it was sort of out there Charlie, but we love you very much.

CharlieApril 14th 2013.

was worth a go ;)

AnonymousApril 14th 2013.

Byron is our favourite burger restaurant in London. Proper burgers and trimmings in unfussy surroundings!

AnonymousApril 14th 2013.

You missed another top newspaper review - Giles Coren in The Times last week about the French @ the Midland said "I'd walk barefoot in the rain to Manchester for another mouthful.......". Good review.

1 Response: Reply To This...
Mark GarnerApril 15th 2013.

anon, he also tweeted on the way up "can't fucking believe it, I'm on my way on a train to another shitty northern city..." *unt. But a good review in the end...

AnonymousApril 14th 2013.

A Halal steakhouse? FFS! Eating the flesh of an animal is one thing, but killing an animal in a ritualistic barbaric fashion is something else. It's the 21st century and it's mumbo jumbo. I wonder what customer base they're hoping to attract?

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousApril 14th 2013.

buddhist vegans?

AnonymousApril 15th 2013.

As someone who does not wish to eat Halal meat, I will be staying away from this place.

SaffronApril 14th 2013.

You should if you were the first, Charlie! Although they used a piece I sent in last year and despite emailing twice to ask the same question noone even bothered to reply to me.

1 Response: Reply To This...
SleuthApril 14th 2013.

Saffron email the editor with the proof and he will find you a prize of something: jonathans@theconfidentials.co.uk

James KayApril 15th 2013.

Halal and ribs? What sort of ribs?

3 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousApril 15th 2013.

Rib of dog?

The government should make it compulsory for food packaging to clearly state whether it's halal or not. It's a crime that it's within our food supply unchecked.

AnonymousApril 15th 2013.

Its not really unchecked if its got a giant billboard declaring it to be a halal steakhouse.

AnonymousApril 15th 2013.

I said food packaging though. I wonder if the sign has been written in the blood of halal brutally butchered livestock. Savages!

Poster BoyApril 15th 2013.

"American food is dead". Official.

Time to get on the next bus...

IanApril 15th 2013.

"Sleuth is sure it'll smash it but isn't sure about the relentless spreading (diluting, perhaps?) of Northern Quarter spirit across the city centre. "

?

AFB just copied from existing chains elsewhere.

Byron is much better.

IanApril 15th 2013.

And 'cheap eats' is not exactly a new concept, is it.

AnonymousApril 15th 2013.

Giovannis Deli did a good cooked breakfast, shame it's disappeared almost overnight.

AnonymousApril 16th 2013.

I am surprised that there has been nothing written yet about the new Almost Famous opening in the Great Northern Warehouse?

SleuthApril 16th 2013.

We've mentioned two or three times already Anon, so please stop plugging other websites

AnonymousMay 28th 2013.

Halal is the same as Kosher... only a different prayer. I don't see anyone calling the Jewish community savages? Or would that be classed as racist/anti-Semitic? Just another unabated-attack on Muslims.

AnonymousMay 28th 2013.

You're right coz koshers mumbo jumbo as well. Did anon call anyone a savage btw? Just another over sensative multi culty here people

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