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Sleuth 30/01/2009

Freddie Flintoff's match worn underpants, Rio in Rio-land, Happy Magazines and number-crunching on Canal Street

Published on January 29th 2009.


Sleuth 30/01/2009

Freddie Flintoff's match worn underpants
So Sleuth was sloping back to the glory that is Spear Street in the Northern Quarter when he passed Empire Exchange. This is an odd little emporium seemingly managed by orcs that sells a range of bric-a-brac from classic toys to porn. Presently in the window is this item, which takes the proverbial biscuit - then dunks it in a cesspit before gobbling it down with gusto. Yes according to the written notice here we have ‘Freddie Flintoff’s matchworn underpants.’ Freaks and weirdos might want to know that the shop is open until 6pm.

Graham Stringer – mixed up words
YQ Magazine is a North West glossy famous for its heavy weight commentary and content – or is Sleuth getting confused? The latest edition features Confidential columnist Blackley MP, Graham Stringer. They have a two-page spread called The Gossip with a What's Hot and a What's not? section. This sneers at our opinionated MP thus: ‘(He’s said) there’s no such thing as dyslexia - so thousands of leading educationalists are wrong!’ Unfortunately YQ described our man as ‘Blakely MP Councillor Graham Stringer’. Er...dyslexia...talk about getting your words mixed up? Blakely – where’s that? An MP Councillor – what’s that?

Happy accounting
Sleuth has had various childish messages concerning the fact that Manchester accountants Beever and Struthers have been taken on by the Lesbian and Gay Foundation. Apparently the childish guffaws have centred round the word lesbian and one of the names in the title of the accountants. Sleuth is confused: what’s so funny about the word Struthers anyway?

Bolton gains finest museum in the world
Sleuth likes that Bolton loves a faker. As stated in our 250 column yesterday ‘the town paid £400,000 for the so-called Armarna Princess in 2003, thinking it was a 3,300-year-old masterpiece. Turns out it was rustled up in a shed by the Greenhalgh family of forgers just a mile from Bolton Museum. The Council wants it back from the Metropolitan Police for display ‘to attract visitors to the museum and to Bolton in general.’ Brilliant idea thinks Sleuth. But why stop there, they should chuck everything genuine out of the place and really get started. Expect soon at Bolton Museum, Leonardo’s the Mona Lisa, Michelangelo’s David, Van Gogh’s Sunflowers, Rembrandt’s the Night Watch, Picasso’s Guernica..... All forged of course. Nobody would really know.

His name is Rio and he dances on the bland
Wow, another entrant to the digital media marketplace? And it’s none other than Manchester United star Rio Ferdinand, who will next month launch a 24-page digital magazine called, wait for it, Rio. Content will include celebrity interviews with icons of sport, music, fashion, film and TV, technology, cars and travel. Editor Iestyn George said: “The magazine aims to give a snapshot of the world that Rio inhabits.” So that would be Alderley Edge, then.

Brown-ed off with England
Rio Ferdinand takes over the Observer Sport Monthly this week with a series of features including an interview with Gordon Brown. He also requested interviews with his buddy Ian Brown (Rio must like that surname), ex-of the Stone Roses. Ian Brown half supports Rio. Brown is a big United fan but in the interview this weekend he’ll reveal that his favourite song is the one conjured up when Beckham was getting abuse after being sent off against Argentina, the unpatriotic ‘You can stick you effing England up your arse’. Brown is one of those United fans who thinks the club is a sort of independent republic. Meanwhile Rio loves playing for England, is often the captain and sings 'God Save the Queen' with passion. Sleuth feels there maybe some sort of conflict here.

Cheshire – the healthy living option
Bolton-based Big Spark Publishing is gearing up to print a new magazine - a bit like Rio then. This will be called Cheshire Independent, and is focusing on Macclesfield, Alderley Edge, Prestbury and Wilmslow. Boss Stuart Parker is obviously a real cutie. He’s said the paper would not be covering stabbings, the economy or any sort of negative news. Instead, “We want to know who has won the flower show and what is happening at the local school.” Sleuth wonders what the editorial angle will be if a disaffected youth from a local school stabs the winner of the begonia section of the flower show whilst depressed about the economy.

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8 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

scoteeeJanuary 29th 2009.

yawn...

AnonymousJanuary 29th 2009.

i propose a game to take bets on how often the following key words and phrases appear in Rio...1/ Bling2/ Money No Object3/ Ultimate Luxury

GaryJanuary 29th 2009.

Did you check the underwear for authentic ginger pubes? I'm sure Ronaldo's pants would be a huge draw (if not huge drawers).

laughingJanuary 29th 2009.

I imagine that new magazine will run a week by week column on Panacea's rebuilding progress...

Phil BurkeJanuary 29th 2009.

Dear Sleuth Support was given to Manchester Chinese Community Following the Manchester Piece about China Town , I am surprised by the remarks made by Warren Yeung, the owner from the Little Yang Sing restaurant, over the lack of support given to the Chinese community in central Manchester by both the City Council and CitycoI know personally for a number of years Cityco has been working closely with the Chinese business community, to create a warm and welcoming feel to the area for visitors to come and enjoy. They have provided tree lighting, improved the on street lighting and the City Council has paid for the installation of CCTV cameras to help protect by businesses and visitors. Cityco have also coordinated the planting of a number of new trees, in and around the area to improve the overall appearance of China Town. It was Cityco who gave their full support in the campaign for free evening and weekend car parking for all, knowing just how important it would be to the all the businesses operating throughout the night time economy. Over the years both the City Council and Cityco have spent thousands of pounds in the Chinese quarter, in the hope it will try to create and help bring back the vibrancy it now seems to=2 0be lacking, but the Chinese businesses must realise that it is not just a one way thing between the council and Cityco, it’s up to the businesses to get their own act together and to work with all the interested parties if they want to improve their own areas, it so easy to blame other people especially during this recession while everyone is feeling the credit crunch. And just maybe if the businesses started to take a more pro-active approach in promoting their businesses like other areas of the city do, then maybe they will be able to improve the footfall passing through the whole of China Town. All city centre businesses must be proud of the hard work done by Cityco and the City Council in creating a fun and safe environment for people to come visit, work and enjoy.

redroosterJanuary 29th 2009.

Rio can live on whatever planet he wants as long as he delivers another trophy or two this season . ( for the benefit of City fans its a big silver cup type thing )

Tan MillaisJanuary 29th 2009.

Scottee are you tired? I once bought some very handy mags in Empire Exchange. Love shops like that. No idea what type of interesting rubbish you might find in them.

eugeneJanuary 29th 2009.

by the way, glad to hear you oppose ID crds and all the other cr*p the govt are trying to impose upon us- there is more to it than you think and it is scary stuff.I think you have a great avenue to let the people of Manc and beyond know about it and why it is wrong, without getting too preachy. How about a referendum or campaign, to raise the profile of it?Cheers Mancon :-)

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