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Sleuth 29/06/2007

Pat Karney bears all, Bruce Willis buys a pair of breasts plus improving your diet the Nando’s way

Published on June 29th 2007.

Sleuth 29/06/2007

Bruce Willis keeps a breast Die Hard 3864 star the octogenarian (isn’t he 88 or something?) action hero Bruce Willis is an avid internet shopper. Sleuth learns that he recently came across the website of Hervia Ltd, the Vivienne Westwood franchisees in Manchester. Brucey-babe purchased a pair of the famous Westwood pirate boots – at his age too, honestly – and a ‘tits’ t-shirt believed to be for his eldest daughter, and Paris Hilton buddy, Rumer. Very appropriate, Willis makes a right tit of himself in his latest movie.

Defunct Deputy OneJOHN PRESCOTT was staying at the Radisson Edwardian on Sunday 24 June for the Labour Party Leadership handovers. Sleuth is pleased to report that the Deputy Prime Minister’s office were fully on the ball. Due to appear on BBC Radio 5 Live later in the morning, one of his staff rang into the production team and said they needed to listen to a segment of the show prior to Prescott going on. “But there’s no radio in the hotel room,” he said, “and the stations on the TV don’t cover Radio 5, what shall we do?” “Can’t you pop out and buy one?” came the reply. “No, that wouldn’t be possible,” said the hapless spokesman. "Why don't you listen to the station on your laptop?” said the production person. There was a pause. “We don’t have a laptop.” In the end the production team had to lend them a radio. 2007 and no laptop in the second in command’s office? Sleuth thinks that Prescott sometimes took his traditionalist approach too far.

Defunct Deputy TwoSLEUTH had a chat with the big man. It was good to note that Prescott believes himself completely behind the rebirth of Manchester. “It was me what gave the city £400m to rebuild itself after the bomb,” he said in his own inimitable manner. “Wasn’t it down to good leadership and the general economic climate in the country,” asked Sleuth. John Prescott nearly exploded, he wasn’t having any of it, “I gave the money to enable the changes,” he thundered. How foolish of us to think we were involved in any way.

Digging deepSALFORD MP, Hazel Blears, came a desperate last to Harriet Harman in the Deputy Leadership race – a much predicted outcome. As part of her campaign fund she’d been given £10k from John Wilkinson, boss of rugby league team Salford Reds. Not so long ago he'd acquired the old mining museum building at Buile Hill Park for a knockdown price. Despite strong opposition from local and civic organisations, he now intends to build a hotel complex. Blears, usually the first to jump on the popularist bandwagon – as seen when she recently joined the picket line outside Hope Hospital – kept very quiet on this issue. How odd.

St Paul of Milton KeynesPAUL INCE was always a curious one, “a bit of mouthy tosser” according to Sleuth’s inside sources at Manchester United, self-styling himself ‘the guv’nor’. Despite the notable achievement of keeping Macclesfield in the old Fourth Division last season it seems that bad habits haven’t disappeared with age. On his move from Macc to manage MK Dons in Milton Keynes, Paulie said, "It feels like the decision Thierry Henry has had to make regarding going to Barcelona." Yep, it’s just like that Paul. Oddly Monsieur Henry didn’t make the same comparison.

St Paul of Miltoncelona part two
POOR OLD Paul is having problems counting as well. Talking about Sunderland manager and prolific dog-walker Roy Keane, Ince said, "As for me and Roy, we played together for four years in midfield at United and played the same, moaned the same, only Roy got booked more than me.“ The four years were 1994 and 1995.

Solid meal
NANDO’S Chicken Restaurant in the Printworks is providing all the extras with their take-outs. Sleuth learns that after a bit of late night work up in the CIS tower, tired and hungry workers ordered some tasty chicken pittas. When they arrived one of the staff found her food had more texture than strictly necessary: namely a large piece of the metal grill upon which the fowl had been cooked. Nando’s eventually sent vouchers for five free meals to the tooth-shattered employee. Sleuth wonders if these meals will also include bits of grill. That way the poor girl might have enough to make her own barbeque should the weather improve. More a case of Grill in the Belly, rather than Grill on the Alley.

Pat KarneySLEUTH has caught Manchester councillor, Pat Karney, the Grand Vizier of the city centre, doing something he loves, dressing up like a bear.

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KevJune 29th 2007.

The clothes are actually for Bruce himself and his latest cross-dressing movie: Dye Hard.

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