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Sleuth 22/08/2008

Cyclists to celebrate with United on bikes, mistaken identity x 2 and how to be in two places at once

Published on August 22nd 2008.


Sleuth 22/08/2008

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Cyclists to be honoured – very good
Sleuth is pleased that the Manchester-based medal winning cyclists from the Olympic Games will be honoured in some way in late September after the Paralympics finish in Beijing. Sources tell him that this may take place in the city centre or out at the Velodrome and may involve an open-top bus. The surprise is that the police and other authorities will allow it at all after ‘the Glasgow Rangers effect’. Remember the drunken scenes in May with the Scots’ invasion that so put the fear of God into people that the plug was pulled on Manchester United celebrating the Premiership and European Cup triumphs. This was a decision that everybody except those who made it thought a cowardly destruction of a long tradition: an excuse to deny a legitimate city celebration, literally a cop-out.

Sleuth’s celebration idea part 2
So if the police and others are still worried about crowds gathering in groups of more than three or four Sleuth thinks they could celebrate the cyclists’ achievement another way rather than with an open-top bus. They could let the cyclists get on their bikes and ride at about 35mph through the city streets. That’ll get it over with quickly. They’d be a blur. No public order issues at all. In fact why even tell Mancunians about it? There definitely wouldn't be any problems then.


Chris Hoy, let’s get him through those streets quickly

Sleuth’s celebration idea part 3
Sleuth thinks we could combine parties. Two or three of the United team, probably the subs, could be put on bikes with the cyclists (paint the word Ferrari on the bike frame and the players would be happy). Then we could put the trophies United won in panniers on the back and quickly speed through the city. Or maybe the authorities should just admit that they’re considering allowing the cyclists’ celebration because they think the exciting but still minority sport of track cycling will attract a more polite crowd than that of a football celebration.

Binn bagged
Simon Binns is the Senior Business Reporter with weekly magazine, Crain’s Manchester Business. On Tuesday he met Sleuth for a pint in the tiny Circus pub on Portland Street. He was buzzing. Later that evening regional TV news programme BBC North West Tonight would feature him in a piece about the decline of the property market. He was a little worried though as it appears the BBC had captioned him wrongly on a previous occasion. Sadly for Simon lightning can strike twice. This time he became property consultant Phil Higham of Rider Levett Bucknall. As Simon said to Sleuth, “So cue about 100 texts from my friends calling me Phil.”

Double vision
Whilst in the sweet little Circus pub, Sleuth loved these posters at the bar – pictured below. Most of the pub-owning groups, breweries and supermarkets go on and on about ‘responsible drinking’. Sleuth doubts their motives. He remembers last year getting a press release about how Chorlton’s favourite store group, Tesco, was going to display hints and tips on how to drink responsibly in their supermarkets. At the same time they were selling cans of lager for 20p. The Circus pub posters celebrate inebriation. Good on the landlord George, no hypocrisy there. And as you can see from the pics Sleuth had had a few himself.

Clever Trevor
The Manchester Evening News has made much of the fact that they’ve sent a reporter to the Beijing Olympics. The man in question, Trevor Baxter, although a freelance, writes primarily for the MEN, and has filed mainly from the Laoshan Velodrome in Beijing. Understandably, the paper has trumpeted its presence in China on the front page. But what's this? On last Monday, the paper carried a match report of Bolton Wanderers v Stoke City under the byline of Trevor Baxter. Sleuth knows the paper likes to get its pound of flesh, but isn't flying a writer back from Beijing to cover a Premiership match just a little too much?

Snookered at MOSI
The excellent and impressive new Director of the Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI) is Steve Davies. No not that one, but a former military man and steam train fanatic who should be just what the museum needs as it seeks to develop – and in the short term renovate its fading permanent displays. The mannequins in the Liverpool Road Station building, for instance, are a bad joke and a hangover from the eighties that you’d expect to see in a lost rural museum. Steve’s on to this, and changes are going to happen sooner rather than later. He also wants MOSI to be part of the changes Confidential, local businesses, residents and the City are going to instigate in Castlefield. When Sleuth told him this, Steve got excited. He read all the articles on the site and rushed to Thursday’s public meeting taking place in the Castlefield Hotel. Sadly it had just finished. Four weeks earlier. Full marks to Steve for enthusiasm. Maybe he should have read the date right at the foot of the article though. Maybe we should have been clearer. Either way there’s a full interview with Steve on Confidential on Tuesday.

Best complaint ever
Confidential featured a story about people who disagree with the direction Manchester Pride has taken with walls and wristbands and so forth this week called 'Pride before a fall'. One of the people featured complained about their bit in the article thus: ‘I self-identify as transgender and have never used the male pronoun ‘he’ to describe myself and would like to request that this be amended to ‘ze’.’ Sleuth knows it’s a cliché ( which he normally avoids like the plague), but thinks it’s a funny old world. And that it takes all sorts. Confidential eventually got round the problem without using ‘ze’ as people might not have known what we were on about. Sleuth also hopes that the person in question never gets asked to take part in any future revival of ‘Allo ‘Allo. Talk about confusing.

Sleuth's most appropriate name of the week
Doctor Sam Nightingale, who was up before the General Medical Council for possessing and consuming illegal drugs. Apparently his great great grandmother Florence is very disappointed with him.

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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Andy MAugust 22nd 2008.

jeez - its nearly September and you are still moaning about the rain on Utd's parade. just accept it and celebrate the city's role in the cyclists success. more cycle lanes for manchester!

NAugust 22nd 2008.

They may use the velodrome in London for 2012 games, but from what I hear the team will stay based in Manchester for training because once they step outside the velodrome the roads in London are too busy and unsafe for training on. Whilst up here they have the benefits of the peak district on their doorstep. Not so grim up north afterall eh lad?

JinkiesAugust 22nd 2008.

Aren't we trying to show London how much we love cycling and that the Velodrome should be used for 2012? Big parade will show our proud cycling tradition off to the country and hopefully stop the gov't wasting the cash on another V' in Londonium

AnonymousAugust 22nd 2008.

Ah the Castlefield meeting, article coming soon JS? Or is it all Confidential?

Michael WestAugust 22nd 2008.

world exclusive - Sleuth drinkin before 5pm! Only been in the Circus once since the smokin ban - and being the temperance bar it is, needed a drag or two, so rather than gettin hustled on Portland St had to go in the 'yard'. Nice regency brickwork, with a 20th C mens carzy attached and barely a yard to stand in.As for Pride/Mardi Gras, I recall attending the meetings in late '99 after City Council (who had taken the event over that year) gave the massive amount of £23k to the various needy causes. Policing and cleanup up had it was even suggest that some money had been spent on the Irish Festival. The barricades and wristbands came up for 2000 was a decent enough steering committee, made some charity money but split again - Europride was a turning point. The city has changed in the last 10 years and with the village being residential, I think that the same old hacks don't have the clout (or disruptive whining they once did). Gay Pride brings nearly as much money as Rangers did to the city economy (sans the urine and bare arses) shurely shome mishtake??

NAugust 22nd 2008.

Oh and I disagree that a "V" in London is waste of cash - even without the British Team there'll be loads of other cyclists who use it, just like the one up here.I'm not sure the same can be said for some of the venues that'll get built as part of the olympic village!

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