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Sleuth 22/06/2012

New ice cream parlour, Natasha Hamilton, New Sugar Buddha plus 50,000 pizzas; 900,000 pieces of sushi; 104 tonnes of chicken; 104,000 litres of ice cream; 182,000 taco shells and 20,000 kg of rice

Published on June 22nd 2012.


Sleuth 22/06/2012

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Sleuth's Sweet Tooth Gains Gelateria

Sleuth's happy. Manchester will soon be home to an Italian style gelateria. There'll be 22 gelato and sorbet flavours at Fresco Freddo's including a signature Peanutella.  Sleuth loves the fact that the publicity pushes the healthy benefits of gelato which is not ice cream as we know it captain. No, gelato 'is low in fat, has no artificial flavouring and is made with milk not butter cream.  Also, while ice cream contains as much as 50 per cent air, Gelato contains only 25 to 30 per cent, resulting in a higher quality, denser dessert with a more intense flavour'. Really? Sleuth doesn't care about such things, he just wants to get a Stracciatella and rub his face in it whilst purring like a lusty tomcat. Fresco Freddo's will be in the St James' Building at 83 Oxford Street - click here.

GelateriaGelateria

Sleuth Finds Beluga Becomes Sugar Buddha

Deansgate Locks’ late night cocktail and shisha bar Sugar Buddha is burgeoning and blossoming. It's opening its second bar next month on Mount Street in the site of the old Beluga Bar. Sleuth hopes they bring their shisha pipes for outdoor enjoyment on that broad and handsome terrace there. He'd love to see the councillors from over the road puffing away in conversation with the Quakers from the Friends Meeting House next door. Maybe they could have got the Dalai Lama, a fellow Buddhist to bless it while he was here last week - click here.

Sugar BuddhaSugar Buddha

Sleuth And Natasha Hamilton 

Sleuth was at the Lowry Hotel on Thursday when a lovely looking young woman approached him in a crazy hat. She stared at Sleuth's fine broad brimmed hat in admiration and said, "That's better than mine, I can't help it, I'll have to sing for you." She was good. "Who are you?" asked Sleuth. Turns out it was Natasha Hamilton, former Atomic Kitten, at a pre-Ascot Ladies Day event - see main picture above. Ms Hamilton said we should watch out for Atomic Kitten getting back together. Sleuth looks forward to seeing if Kerry Katona will re-join, as the world has been missing a truly great star for some years.

Sleuth's Red Card

Sleuth's been invited to the opening of the National Football Museum in the Urbis building on 5 July. He's looking forward to it. Sleuth particularly loved the invite, a proper red card. Sweet. Clever. Although in this case it means we're being sent in rather than sent off.

Red Card 019NFM invite

Sleuth's Fairy Tale Of Spinningfields

So Sleuth was in Ye Olde Forest Of Spinningfields. It was a cold and windy day, what was that noise - a wolf? Sleuth sought shelter. Pushing through Hanging Kebab Wood he saw several Hansel and Gretel houses. Safety at last. He pushed open the door and slammed it shut. "Excuse me," said a small voice, "but in this particular place I like to be alone, although I know I should have probably locked the door." Sleuth exited, ashamed of himself, and went for a pint in the building to which these curious lavatories belong - the Oast House.

Hansel and Gretel's new toilets in the Forest of SpinningfieldsHansel and Gretel's new toilets in the Forest of Spinningfields

Sleuth And Milky

While in the Oast House, Sleuth went to the more traditional looking loos within the building. Some graffiti on the wall caught his eye. It read 'Have you seen Milky Dennis?' Sleuth hadn't but is keeping an eye out.

Sleuth’s Rant To End All Rants From Phil Murphy 

Poor www.visitmanchester.com, our reader Phil Murphy has forensically taken a blade to their website, the main tourist website for the city on this story. Wow. The actual editorial of the story is just over 600 words, Phil's delivered more than 1,300 of pure onslaught.

Sleuth Goes To Lunch With Gordo

So Sleuth went with Gordo to Red Hot World Buffet on Deansgate for lunch. Sleuth had already eaten a Boots Shapers calorie conscious cucumber sandwich but Gordo declared he was starving. So he ate 50,000 pizzas, 900,000 pieces of sushi, 104 tonnes of chicken, 104,000 litres of ice cream, 13 tonnes of Chinese noodles, 182,000 taco shells and 20,000 kg of rice. "Right," said Gordo, "what about nipping to Livebait for some oysters." These are the facts, honest - click here.

Sleuth And His Cheese Dilemma

Sleuth has been asked to help judge the International Cheese Festival in Nantwich in July. But he's confused which boxes he should tick on the form pictured below. The top paragraph is particularly good. It's a question we should all ask ourselves - what are our individual cheese competences? And will anybody be honest enough to just tick the 'Processed Cheese' box and nothing else? After all, one wouldn't want to be the object of sneering at a cheese festival. 

What is your cheese competence?What is your cheese competence?

Sleuth's Birthdays Feature

Sleuth is oftened asked how old certain figures are in Greater Manchester in similar areas of employment. Sleuth has decided to use the new DBR (Day Birthday Ratio) measure as currently recommended by the European Union (Exactitude Department, Brussels). He can reveal that Prime Minister Sir Robert Peel from Bury is 81,899 days old and currently dead. Sir Richard Leese is something over 22,365 days old and is currently the leader of Manchester City Council.

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5 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousJune 22nd 2012.

stop writing in the 3rd person. fucks sake

JohnthebriefJune 22nd 2012.

3rd person writing is a harmless conceit, get over it

GordoJune 23rd 2012.

Gordo thinks you can go and get stuffed Anon...

Calum McGJune 29th 2012.

Anon - learn to spell!

J Mark DoddsJune 29th 2012.

I lived in Manchester from 1978 to 1984. From what Sleuth writes it seems a LOT better now than it was then.

Now I live in Camberwell, London, between Brixton and Peckham. And have done since 1995. It's a lot like Manchester was back then.

Something's very wrong about this.

Keep it up Sleuth and take no notice of the Anons.

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