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Sleuth 20/02/2009

Sheep to graze Piccadilly Gardens, Towering arrogance, Ryanair mobile efficiency and the Hacienda graffiti attack

Published on February 20th 2009.

Sleuth 20/02/2009

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Sheep in Piccadilly
Rumours that ITV plans to transfer production of Emmerdale Farm to Manchester (click here) has intrigued Sleuth. Everybody complains the city doesn’t have enough green space, so getting a bit more agricultural might do the trick. To start the ball rolling Sleuth decided to nip up to the Yorkshire Dales and invest for the future. This is Sleuth’s flock of sheep crossing Piccadilly Gardens today. Tomorrow Sleuth’s arranged Morris Dancing followed by a Barn Dance. Sunday it’s a hog-roast. Monday we all marry our cousins.

Art for art sake, no money for God’s sake
Sleuth loves this message the artists of Manchester have been sent by Daniel McWilliams, the Assistant Facilities Manager of Beetham Tower. He wrote how his company, ‘need a work of art by a local artist to brighten up our plain old reception area above the Hotel.
We have no budget for this so anything free would be great but am thinking more along the lines of it being a shop window for someone to get their work displayed in Manchester’s tallest building.....? No real spec so any ideas taken, thinking along the lines of contemporary, modern and most importantly local.’ The local artistic community think this a mite cheeky. They aren’t exactly known as millionaires and feel they deserve to be paid for display of their work as is the common practice in other buildings.

Pulling the Curtin
The above Beetham Tower email is attracting fight back. One artist, Liam Curtin, has emailed Mr McWilliams with: ‘I’m an artist and need a building in which to display an artwork. I have no budget for this but am thinking along the lines of it being an opportunity for a developer to get their property noticed by paying for a great artwork. There is no real spec but the building should be contemporary and by a local architect if possible.’ Sleuth also going to contact Mr McWilliams with: 'I am a freelance writer and need a bar to stand in and drink for free. There is no real spec, any bar will do as long as it's contemporary, modern and most importantly local.'

A very convenient rip-off
Sleuth was intrigued by the announcement today that Ryanair have bought technology which enables passengers to use mobile phones when flying. Sleuth along with many Mancunians has used Ryanair from Liverpool. He thinks the new facility may be useful. Now you’ll be able to call up any time and tell friend and relations: “Yes, we’re still on the runway an hour late,” or “We’ll be back tomorrow, the plane’s returning to the terminal,” or “I’ve just bought a Twix for £17 is that legal?” Funnily enough the new in-flight mobile phone service will cost up to 10 times the international rate. Good old Ryanair, always so consistent.

Email...what’s that?
Sleuth was perusing the Guardian's media supplement this week and spotted a job advert for a Communications Manager at the Co-operative Pharmacy in Rochdale on a tasty salary of £47,000 per annum. ‘We're passionate about good communication,’ says the ad. ‘We'd like you - as a communications expert - to raise our communications game.’ But the final sentence’s a bit odd. ‘If you do not have internet access please call Vicky Moore on 07736 211377,’ it says. Sleuth would have hoped a would-be Communications Manager on almost a grand a week would be totally plugged in, completely wired up. Then again the job is based in Rochdale.

Hacienda flattened
Sleuth was hanging out round the back of the old Hacienda fishing for wellies in the canal. He found some panels running along the building with a potted history. These included snippets such as the fact that the Hacienda was opened in 1982 by ‘Bernhard Manning’. Not sure who Bernhard is but he sounds tough – any ideas out there? Landmark gigs are highlighted such as ‘1982 - New Order, Boy George, Simple Minds, 1982 - Grandmaster Flash, Thompson Twins, Tears for Fears, 1983 - the Smiths. The last snippet reads, ‘1998 - the Hacienda demolished.’ It rounds off enigmatically with ‘...... 2003’. To which some wag has added ‘some wanky flats’ – pictured below. It strikes Sleuth that some people have no appreciation for the way the city has changed for the better in every way.

Rebranding city central Salford
Sleuth was intrigued by the debate with the Corridor bar review this week over whether that bit of Salford inside the Trinity Way and next to the River Irwell should be given a tag. This is where Corridor has opened bringing a bit of Northern Quarter zeitgeist to the area. The naming began on the site with ChaHo as in Chapel Street. Then someone went with Chavho which was predictable. One suggestion was Chaste (short for Chapel Street) but Sleuth recalls Xanadu’s swinger’s bar on Blackfriars and doesn’t think that fits. Sleuth and Confidential like the Trinity Quarter best...marking Trinity Church, Trinity Bridge and Trinity Way. Good things, after all, come in threes.

Sleuth's favourite joke this week...
Alfie Patten has joined Fathers4Justice. A spokesman said that he may not understand politics yet, but he already has his own Spiderman Costume.

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22 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

esquiloFebruary 20th 2009.

oops, obv Drake did too!

esquiloFebruary 20th 2009.

It might be a braintrump but I thought the Chapel Street / Blackfriars area was already called "Chapel Wharf"

mark mFebruary 20th 2009.

Just how well does slueth recall Xanadu I wonder?

esquiloFebruary 20th 2009.

Re: Uni Challenge - did anyone else notice that, during the semi, the bloke on the far right seemed to be in a big queeny strop? He just seemed to huff and sneer while the others answered all the quesioned between them.

JFebruary 20th 2009.

Two ranters on here expressing a wish to hit a woman! What century is it?

I love RnBFebruary 20th 2009.

Please can you prove it?

Jonathan Schofield - Rochdalian EditorFebruary 20th 2009.

Yes I'm from Rochdale but Sleuth isn't the editor he's a maverick composite of reality who prostrates himself on the altar of cheap witticism. I was there at the playoffs in woeful Wembley last year. Up the connected Dale. And yes I change my clogs every day.

gauchecaviarFebruary 20th 2009.

Why doesn't the nice man from Beetham Tower get in touch with Arts and Business and they can find him an artist? They'd be able to help. Or maybe not...

JennFebruary 20th 2009.

Far too late with that joke, was Popbitched out days ago!Tsk, at least give credit!

DrakeFebruary 20th 2009.

God I hope Manc win Univ Challenge. The guy from Chet's who captains the Manc team might be a bit of an arse (and is boviously hated by the bloke who sits on the captain;'s left) but that lass captaining the Corpus team needs a good slap. Soooo irritating. If she flicks her hair after geting a question about tedious Victorian women novelists right just once more I shall throw my laptop out the window.

emma graceFebruary 20th 2009.

is xanadu still there??

Trevor NelsonFebruary 20th 2009.

To be sure!

SausagesFebruary 20th 2009.

A nightclub where once stood a proud yacht showroom? What good is change I ask you?

Trevor NelsonFebruary 20th 2009.

Why watch university challenge final when we know Corpus Christi win it?

Chris BFebruary 20th 2009.

Yeah, What's wrong with what it's already known as.. All a bit silly tryng to think up a spunky name for Blackfriars area of Salford just because a cocktail bar opened there. Very silly indeed. Why wash away historic names that are far more valuable, meaningful and at least original. But then again I suppose it makes it more marketable for investors and more bearable for those not wishing to admit they live in Salford.. Get over yourselves.

esquiloFebruary 20th 2009.

quesioned = questions. Dunno what happened there.

esquiloFebruary 20th 2009.

re:Anon a couple above: "the council have this locked downl"? is that Salford or Manchester city councils?.From all bumf and PR I've seen, "Central Salford" describes Blackfriars, Islington, Trinity, Crescent and Pendleton and other oogy dirty birdy bits.

Up The DaleFebruary 20th 2009.

Isn't the Editor of Manchester Confidential from Rochdale? Shame on you for allowing such a cheap dig at your hometown. I bet you don't wear clogs any more either. You've changed.

Made my day !February 20th 2009.

Beefy Stew....thats Brill....had a little chuckle !

AnonymousFebruary 20th 2009.

The council already have this creative quarter locked down as Central Salford or maybe the Chapel Street Corridor (possibly the reason for the bar name?).

I love RnBFebruary 20th 2009.

Trevor Nelson? The actual Trevor Nelson from Radio 1?

jon smithFebruary 20th 2009.

..so yet another block of awful soulless flats where the Hacienda once stood is change for the better?!! get real.

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