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Sleuth 16/12/2011

A Frog For Christmas, The Hungry Waiter, Transport Songs And Lies To Tell Tourists

Published on December 16th 2011.

Sleuth 16/12/2011

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.
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Sleuth's Dress Code Instruction Of The Week

Sleuth was doing a Northern Quarter pub crawl the other day. He went to the splendid Crown and Kettle pub at the junction of Oldham Road and Great Ancoats Street - there's a picture of the fancy roof below. There was a dress code. On the door it read 'No Tracksuit Bottoms'. Sleuth approves - tracksuits should never be worn away from the gym or the sports field. Actually they should never be worn period. But Sleuth wondered what particular type of delinquency does the wearing specifically of tracksuit bottoms denote? And if you should take them off, does the landlord let you in?


Manchester's Christmas Market's To Expand?

Sleuth was doing a Confidential Tunnel Tour under Manchester on Thursday. "Hey," said one lovely lady looking down the dark pathways, "I've spent the afternoon in the German markets and they get bigger every year. I bet it won't long before there's one down here."


Sleuth's Best Christmas Present Ever

This is an official email from Manchester Museum

‘A frog is for life not just for Christmas.

‘This Christmas Manchester Museum is on hand to solve your Christmas gift dilemmas for the person in your life who thought they had everything.  Why waste money on iPads, Kindles or expensive scents when you can sponsor a rare frog with the Manchester Museum’s Sponsor a Frog package?  You’ll be helping to maintain some of the Museum’s fantastic frog species. And who knows - you might even find your prince. The species you can find at the Museum’s vivarium which are available for selection include: Lemur Leaf Frog, Red-eyed Tree Frog, Spurrell’s Leaf Frog, Argentine Horned Frog, Golden Poison-dart Frog, Golden Mantella.

'At the bargain price of £50 the Sponsor a Frog Package consists of: A special invitation for you and a friend to enjoy a personal tour of the department; A photo opportunity with one of the world’s rarest frogs); An exclusive A4 colour photograph of your chosen species; Your name listed on the Frog Blog’s new sponsors page; A UK amphibian conservation awareness package from Froglife and A personal letter of thanks for your support from the Director of The Manchester Museum'.

Sleuth also thinks you can get completely free of charge some funny looks from your nearest and dearest when you offer the present. Sleuth quite fancies the Argentine Horned Frog mind you.

Still should you want to find an Xmas Amphibian click here

Sponsor A Frog Package

Sleuth's Rude Tweet Of The Week

In response to the Kids Confidential health story for dads called Laptops Damage Sperm (click here) , a rude BBC employee tweeted 'I thought it was the other way round'. 

Sleuth’s Obvious Advice With Lyrics  - Of The Week

Sleuth giggled a bit at this press release about safe travelling. 

‘Susan Wildman, Transport for Greater Manchester’s Communications and Customer Services Director, said: “It’s important to plan ahead when the weather outside is frightful – and unpredictable – but it’s also important to understand how everyday things can change during the winter months, when it’s dark and icy. We should all take extra care when we’re out and about at this time of year, because the longer nights, frostier conditions and festive distractions can present hazards. We hope the advice we’ve provided on our website will help to keep you safe and sound, so you can have yourself a merry little Christmas and a happy New Year to remember for all the right reasons.”

Bless them.

Sleuth's Cheeky Waiter Of The Week

Sleuth has a new favourite restaurant. It shall remain anonymous in this story to preserve its modesty. But Lynda Moyo, the tough nun of Manchester Confidential, and the editor of Body Confidential, dined there with a friend a week or two ago. She said, "It was really good, but when we'd had our desserts, my friend noticed something." "And what was that?" asked Sleuth. "Well, I'd only half-finished my pudding as it wasn't quite my thing. But my friend saw the waiter take the plate with the half-eaten food into the kitchen area and shovel what was left down his throat. She couldn't believe it." Sleuth can't either but it did make him laugh.

Sleuth's Most Unfortunate Branding Of The Year

Blackpool has a new marketing agency, Marketing Blackpool, and new branding and they want the world to know it. So they sent Confidential an email. Sleuth opened it and shuddered. Sleuth knows that Blackpool used to host at least one of the main political parties for their autumn conference but the Marketing Blackpool imagery below looked a little too like that of a far less savoury political party. 


Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

If you want a quiet drink with a sophisticated atmosphere this weekend will be perfect. Try in particular Bluu Bar in the Northern Quarter, the Moon Under Water on Deansgate, Walkabout on Quay Street or Wave on Portland Street.



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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

RevaulxDecember 16th 2011.

Can't think of a finer recommendation for a restaurant!

Paris HiltonDecember 16th 2011.

I want a frog

Monsieur SarkozyDecember 16th 2011.

I am a frog

Ann PhibianDecember 16th 2011.

I have the skin of a frog

Mad who couldn't think of a frog jokeDecember 16th 2011.

I'm about to croak

James SmithDecember 16th 2011.

Another good lie for tourists: "Try the Christmas Markets, ther're good value for money and very chilled out"

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