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Sleuth 15/10/09

Peter Hook, Ricky Hatton, Dave Haslam, Chris Johnson, Andrew Nutter, Elbow and other stories

Published on October 16th 2009.

Sleuth 15/10/09

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Ricky Hatton knockout
Boxing legend Ricky Hatton was guest of honour at a charity auction at LCCC last night. Hatton was on fine form doing is raconteur/stand-up routine. There was a good line about one of his opponents having so much hair under his arms he looked like he had Don King in a headlock. Prior to the event there’d been a competition to sit on the top table with Ricky. It had been won by two brothers from South Wales who were ‘on one’. So much so that people weren’t listening to Ricky, distracted by the younger of the Welsh brothers who was so pissed his tongue kept falling out of his mouth as he tried to hug anyone nearby. Eventually the lad tried to go to the loo, fell backwards into a partition and almost took down the whole stage. He was ushered into the kitchen by security faster than you could say 'grassy knoll'. Ten minutes later he came out to rapturous applause from 600 guests. He waved feebly, sat quietly for a minute and thoughtfully polished off a final vase of wine. Then suddenly he lurched up, staggered round Ricky, and collapsed out of a fire exit. Complete knockout, thought Sleuth. Or perhaps slapstick.

Legendary DJ in novel row
Gordo’s been telling Sleuth about Peter Hook’s book The Hacienda: How not to run a club. He says it’s hilarious. Apparently ‘legendary’ DJ Dave Haslam doesn’t come out of it too well though. There’s a story, for instance, about him having a hissy fit one time, turning the music off and locking himself in the DJ booth at the club. This, unaccountably, had more armour than a Challenger tank so it took a while for the bouncers to break in and get the music going. So at the Manchester Food and Drink Festival Gala Dinner on Monday Haslam was DJing, Gordo slid up to him with a cheeky grin and said, “Eh Dave, lad, have you read Hooky’s new book, you’re in it, you know?” “No I’ve not read it,” said Haslam, “but I hear it’s twenty in the Amazon fiction list.”

10 for a worthy cause
Meanwhile speaking of the above book Hooky’s been telling this story. “We once worked out,” he said, “that between opening in 1982 and closing in 1997, we lost £10 for each punter who went into the Hacienda - through bad management and stupidity. If ever I’m skint I’ll walk round Manchester asking everybody to give me my tenner back.”

Once more with feeling
Sleuth is still giggling about the Food and Drink Festival Awards dinner at the Palace Hotel. We’ve already posted this story this week, but Chris Johnson of Ramsons was a star. His announcement of the Coffee Bar/Casual Dining Award has become legend. When he intended to say Folk Cafe Bar in West Didsbury he said instead: “And the winner is....Fuck.” Everybody thought he’d dropped the envelope, but, no he was just ‘merry’ as they say. Everybody was. At one point the terrible twins of Manchester cooking, David Gale of Podium restaurant, and Andrew Nutter of Nutter’s restaurant, were being daft in the bar area. Nutter seemed to be doing some bizarre folk dance whilst Gale was sporting table decoration red carnations over each ear. Pub of the Year winners, The Lass’O’Gowrie ended up trooping half the be-suited crew round the block to their pub and opening until six am. Fortunately none of the jack-booted storm-troopers of the ‘responsible drinking’ health and safety campaigns were invited.

Gobbling cake
Chef Andrew Nutter was at another food and drink event the previous week in which he was part of a panel at the Poggenpohl kitchen shop on Deansgate judging a home-bake event. The first prize was a £25,000 kitchen, and was in association with cake-mix celeb, Jane Asher who was also judging along with Emma-Jean Sturgess, late of the Morning Metro, and Lucy Meacock, of Granada. Sleuth took a picture of the panel as they deliberated. As he took it, Lucy Meacock was cheekily licking a spoon. Nutter couldn’t help himself, “there’s Lucy again, always got something in her mouth.” Nervous giggles all round. Sleuth wondered if there’s something in the notion that a person’s surname, if distinctive, describes their character.

Outside in the Moon
A broadcast out in the cruel world rather than the sanctuary of the studio is called by the professionals an OB or Outside Broadcast. This Sunday during In the City Music Convention, veteran broadcaster Terry Day will be at the Moon under Water pub on Deansgate covering live music with co-presenter Philippa Cave, the brainiest tour guide in Manchester with looks to match. This will be for Manchester Radio Online in the Forever Manchester Sunday night charity slot. Sleuth likes a man with self-awareness in the face of beauty: “You do the OB and I’ll do the BO,” Mr Day quipped to Ms Cave.

Sleuth’s most inappropriate use of a disco ball
This is in the almost two centuries old function room of The Bridge Street Tavern, now known as B Lounge on Bridge Street. Sweet. Sleuth loves original features. Incidentally Sleuth hears that the city centre pub is about to open a first floor dining area to allow more space downstairs for drinkers.

Sleuth’s most inappropriate use of packaging
Confidential ordered some rulers from office supply company Lyreco this week. These are they with the box they came in: a box in which a 35 pound turkey could happily have sat. Makes those vacuum wrapped electrical component packs you have to break into with a chain saw look small fry.

Punk rock health shock
Sleuth was at Punk Rock, the new play at the Royal Exchange, this week – click here. He liked it despite the interruption. An unfortunate older guy who was watching had a bit of a turn about an hour in. Cast stopped acting, audience turned to look and the classic question was asked: “Is there a doctor in the house?” Play was delayed for half an hour as the paramedics arrived. It was sweet how the cast were applauded as the play resumed. Given the play is about unruly six formers, everyone agreed, they were remarkably well behaved.

Out of town out of order
Sleuth’s got more Elbow stories. Frontman Guy Garvey and partner and Manchester Confidential writer Emma Unsworth, and friends decided to get away from the home city for a break. They booked into a B&B in Robin Hood’s Bay in the North York Moors. Sat down for food in the dining room, familiar music began to seep from the speakers. It was the Elbow album, Seldom seen kid. The whole point of the break was get away from all the attention the band have had over the last eighteen months. As nodding, nudging and smiling staff passed by it was clear that Guy’s cover had been blown. “Shall we say anything?” said someone. Guy is a modest and polite chap and said no, it was fine, it happens. But then the party noticed something else. The sequence of tracks on the album was all wrong. Bless the B&B but it appears that Elbow’s great fans there had illegally downloaded the album.

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12 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousOctober 16th 2009.

It's true, it is in the fiction category on amazon.com. Does this mean it's more fiction than fact?

James TOctober 16th 2009.

My most inappropriate use of a disco-ball is the one I carry in my head and which I dance too like a lunatic in the streets.

AnonymousOctober 16th 2009.

Some of what Peter Hook writes in his book isn't true. Well there's a surprise. Great detective work Sleuth.

MG, BurnageOctober 16th 2009.

Part way through reading Mr Hook's book. Entertaining it is but his graceless lack of recognition that honest Hacienda punters handed over hundreds possibly thousands of their hard earned over the years is getting more than a little tiresome. It's as if we all got in and drank for free - which we didn't! We all know you lost money Hooky but you don't seem to be doing too badly off it these days do you? He's getting more like Ringo by the day. Peace and Love, Peace and Love.

James TOctober 16th 2009.

Can I have one of those rulers? Could you send it round in an articulated lorry?

HandlebarMoustacheLoverOctober 16th 2009.

Congratulations to Folk. Great use of video promotion!

WyaynyeyOctober 16th 2009.

Whey-hey Halloween references............

GordoOctober 16th 2009.

Gordo would have been much better at the cake baking competition than Sleuth, at least the picture would have been sharp...

Mr Michael MyersOctober 16th 2009.

You lot are a nasty, vicious bunch, aren't you? Why is that?

AnonymousOctober 16th 2009.

I notice all the merry gents falling over in various clubs bars were folloing my recipe for 'drinking responsibly' SEE THE VOTE this week

AnonymousOctober 16th 2009.

If Peter Hook's ever skint he could do a spot of his unique energetic "DJing"!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m01g4XnC_qU

billhicksJanuary 13th 2010.

@tomegranate. Cyclists riding side by side when there are as many

cars on the roads particularly at rush hour is stupid and selfish, regardless

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