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Sleuth 15/08/2008

Manchester City in a mix-up, Terry Eagleton on his Marx, texting rudeness and the uses of cheese part one

Published on August 15th 2008.

Sleuth 15/08/2008

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

City in a media muddle
It's been a difficult week for Manchester City, what with owner Thaksin Shinawatra fleeing bail in his native Thailand, unable to get his hands on the millions he had hoped to spend on the club. And that's not the only problem. On Monday of this week, the Daily Mirror ran a story alleging that two players, Stephen Ireland and Vedran Corluka, were being sold behind manager Mark Hughes' back. City's solicitors claimed the story "contained defamatory and untrue statements in respect of the Club, Thaksin Shinawatra, Kia Joorabchian and Paul Aldridge" (chairman, agent and Chief Operating Officer respectively). Threatened with legal action, the Mirror removed the story from their website. But did it disappear completely? Oh no. Oddly enough it can still be read on City’s official website in 'What the Papers Say' - click here There seems as much joined up thinking behind the scenes at Eastlands as Richard Dunne and co showed last night as they lost to FC Neverheardof from Iceland 1-0 in the UEFA Cup.

Blackberry and mobile rudeness
Sleuth has a big downer on people who without excusing themselves text people or take calls in the middle of conversations. It’s the ultimate in rude. It’s saying this message/call is more important than the real live person directly in front of them. Sleuth gets even more heated when this happens in a job interview. So Sleuth thinks it’s unfortunate that candidates for certain jobs at MediaCity have to sit and bite their lip while their interviewer texts on a Blackberry for the duration without apology or explanation, and also leaps up, paces round the room, and takes calls. Then again maybe the person in question is merely demonstrating that MediaCity will be a fully wired-up (and wired-down) multi-media facility. Yes, that must be it. Very subtle those folks.

Pampered millionaires...again
Meanwhile Sleuth hears a rumour that the Pie Factory round the corner from MediaCity has been knocking down partition walls to move dressing rooms nearer to the car park. The Pie Factory is a very fine centre of film, television and commercial production and Sleuth loves the place. But he’s not sure about the alleged reason behind the building works. His mole says, “it’s to make things quicker when United and other Premiership players are doing ads there. If you can get them from their sporty numbers in the car park to work as fast as possible then that cuts the expense. The meter's always ticking with their agents.”

The uses of cheese part one: a riot situation
This Saturday marks the anniversary of the Peterloo Massacre in Manchester in 1819 and there will be lots of guided walks and the like round the city. Peterloo was where 60,000 people in the area of the Radisson Edwardian Hotel (aka the Free Trade Hall) to protest about the lack of cheap cocktail options, and the sheer cost of a midweek suite. Or perhaps they were protesting about the lack of parliamentary representation. Fifteen people died when the crowd was attacked by the local militia. One man though had put his lunch, a large lump of Lancashire cheese under his hat. This meant that when the militia charged and a sabre came down, it sliced his hat in two but got stuck in the cheese and he escaped without a scratch. Sleuth, a proud hat wearer, still wears cheese like this. He finds it comes in handy whenever he’s dancing at Brannigans on a Saturday night.

Women and brains
Sleuth's a fan of intelligence, so he's pleased to learn of a club that meets in Manchester called Thinkingwomen. The club has bi-monthly sessions at the Friends Meeting House covering a number of subjects such as 'A woman’s place is in the city: an interactive session on gender and the built environment', or 'Ethical Shopping: Who Foots the Bill?' Perhaps predictably the best attended session though was in May about Tantric Sex which was apparently a little long but built to an exciting climax. Sleuth hears that an associated club called Thinkingmen has failed through a lack of interest. The one called Drinkingmen however remains a run-away success.

Sleuth as J Clarkson on the Terry Eagleton/University row
So lily-livered Terry Eagleton, the arch Marxist has been pensioned off by the folks at the University of Manchester. Good for them. After years of producing left-wing literary drivel he’s reached 65 and retirement. But he wants to carry on, with an inflated lecturing stipend no doubt paid for by tax-payers. ‘From each according to his ability, to each according to his need,’ said Marx. So bugger off, lefty, you need to retire and let in some younger blood. After all this parasite argued that the system that employed him for years should collapse - whilst he was screwing bucketfuls of dosh from it. He also bought himself three lovely homes and commuted to lectures in Manchester from Ireland. As though he were some fat cat capitalist chief executive, as he'd call them. Come on Terry, on your Marx, get set, GO!

Sleuth as G Galloway on the Terry Eagleton/University row
It’s shocking that our brother Comrade Terence Eagleton should be treated so shoddily by the right wing cabal that rules Manchester University. He has contributed to civilisation and its hoped for replacement by a fair and egalitarian socialist society with classic works such as Literary Theory (1982). This showed how Terry is a comrade who would support us on the barricades when the revolution came with forceful dialogue on..er..books and stuff. If he wanted to stay on for another year to spread disaffection and discontent within a clearly corrupt system based on patronage and privilege then he should be allowed to do so. To strike a blow against the reactionary forces of ageism rife in our society would show maximum respect. Yes Respect. As soon as I can I’m going to find a public hall in which I can SHOUT about this.

Eagleton and Amis
One of the more interesting aspects of recent University life is the spat between Martin Amis and Terry Eagleton. The latter has accused the former of Islamaphobia over his reaction to 9/11 and subsequent writings. Amis has rejected this. An insider told Sleuth, "The row between Amis and Eagleton was good for University profile but in truth Amis has been better for the place. He's hosted numerous debates and played a much more public part in the life of the University and the city. It's a shame that the debate they were due to have together about the Islamaphobia claims never happened, as Eagleton pulled out. He really did very little in the city. You have to wonder whether Eagleton came to Manchester because of the convenient direct flights from Ireland where he now lives. Eagleton's appearances were rare and fleeting, even if he hadn't reached retirement age it'd be hard to argue he was value for money."

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10 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousAugust 15th 2008.

Does anyone know where I can find out what's going on tomorrow for the Peterloo anniversary?

deli llamaAugust 15th 2008.

I tell customers , or used to say,that the high frequency waves from the telephone interferes with the rising yeast molucules in the fermentation of the bread, show them a flat bread show them a well risen bread. That's the damage caused in bakeries due to mobile phone calls.......60% success rate ,one near black eye, a few red faces and definitely a few wrye smiles.

James PAugust 15th 2008.

That is my biggest hate...people texting other people whilst talking to me

EditorialAugust 15th 2008.

Malh we'd use the cheating wizardry of the internet to thank you kindly and change it....but you're wrong aren't you? City lost at the City of Manchester Stadium 1-0 to a team from Denmark. So what was wrong with what Sleuth said? And we got the score the right way round. Thanks anyway.

VagabundoAugust 15th 2008.

I hate people going up to a bar, whilst on the phone, and ordering. I wouldn't serve them!!!! So rude!!

Professor KnuckleAugust 15th 2008.

The problem with good old Terry is that he just flew in and out of Manchester, he didn't try to do anything public here. All he seems to have become a carping and bitter blogger. Shame because Literary Theory was important whether you agreed with it or not.

malhAugust 15th 2008.

Joined up thinking at Manchester Confidential too I see - Manchester City were beaten O-1 FC Midtjylland -who do originate from Denmark - unlike FC Neverheardof - who originate from Iceland and who played at home to Aston Villa last night.At least you got the score right - well, that is if you ignoring the long held tradtion of putting the home team score first.

the publisherAugust 15th 2008.

what's my cut?

malhAugust 15th 2008.

Yep, wizadry indeed and you still have it wrong - but eh? It would be dull if you were always right!

Jonathan SchofieldAugust 15th 2008.

Re Peterloo Walk, I thought you'd never ask. I'm doing a guided tour round the city centre at 3pm from the Tourist Information Centre...it's £5 or £4 depending whether you're working or not. All welcome otherwise, just turn up.

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