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Sleuth 14/09/2007

Period drama, a big shag and dishing out trouble

Published on September 14th 2007.


Sleuth 14/09/2007

Happy returns
Manchester Confidential likes to lay it on, likes to celebrate. Sleuth was pleased to take part in a brief ceremony on Thursday 13 September to celebrate the 130th birthday of Manchester Town Hall. Giving a commemorative cake to his worship the Lord Mayor, was Lady Gemma Minshull and Lord Alex Kirkley of Confidential. The wise-cracking Lord Mayor said he was very gratified by the cake and really appreciated it but could we please leave now as he had more important things to attend to. We left.

Click here to view more birthday pics.

Small, pushy problem
Manchester Confidential received this email yesterday and Sleuth snatched it. It read: ‘I’m taking a friend out for her 30th birthday and she’s a very sophisticated Spaniard. She’s also very tall and doesn’t like mingers. Can you please recommend an area of town where there is a cluster of decent bars where the men aren’t too small or pushy, isn’t full of teens nor divorcees, and that doesn’t do wedding music. A decent club would be helpful too.’ Interesting. Sleuth scratched his head over this one. It was ‘the men aren’t too small or pushy, isn’t full of teens nor divorcees’ that was bothering him. In fact folks, any suggestions, let Sleuth know. Email
sleuth@manchesterconfidential

Piccashaggy Gardens
Sleuth was showing a party of overseas visitors around the city on Wednesday. He was trying to explain the controversial changes in Piccadilly Gardens, "the concrete wall has caused a huge kerfuffle," he said. There was a South African in the party looking confused. "Your kerfuffle sounds like an Afrikaans word for making love," he said. Sleuth liked that, next time he’ll say ‘the concrete wall in Piccadilly caused a massive shag’. Make love, not wall.

Lemonheads
Sleuth knows a man who fancies himself as a bit of a military sort, maybe even has a past in one form of soldiery or another. He goes in the Temple, the former basement Gents urinal, now the bar on Oxford Street. Recently a group of regulars were standing by the bar having a chat when a lemon rolled down the stairs in through the open door and came to a halt between the tables. This was followed a second or so later by the aforementioned military man shouting, "If that had been a hand grenade you would all have been dead". There was a pause, then someone said, "but it was a lemon and it...er...looked like one."

Fat pigeons
Not so long ago on a dry day when the emos were out in force at Cathedral Gardens next to Urbis, the Council decided to act. The hard ground where once grass had lived, was jumped upon by latter day parkies and given a thick layer of surface grass seed. Then it was left. The emos walked over it, the rain didn't fall, the pigeons ate: a couple of days later nothing remained apart from the pigeons. Sleuth's local ornithologist friend went over for a look, "they're so full they're can't fly," he reported. "I think one or two are going to explode.

Hotel Absymal
Good to see the Britannia Group given a good kicking in the MEN for having the world's filthiest hotel down at Didsbury. All their hotels are shocking, as is the fact they're sitting on one of the city's key buildings and letting it rot: the London Road Fire Station close to Piccadilly Station. They also own the Adelphi in Liverpool. Sleuth stayed there once and attended a would-be swanky gala dinner. There was something wrong. Every knife and fork were different from their neighbours and not a single piece of crockery matched another. The boss of the event complained. The answer from the supervisor was, "what's your problem, the food tastes the same doesn't it?"

Manchester Town Hall Birthday pics.

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5 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

K to the MSeptember 14th 2007.

your all sad!!

davySeptember 14th 2007.

I have very fond memories of the Brittania at Dids'. After ordering a steak and requesting the usual "well done" I was served as req' rump. So far so good and it tasted beautiful. However there is always one bit of the preverbial beast that won't go down without a fight. This said gristle put on a brave show, and 10 jaw aching minutes later, it broke my back tooth in half. (I am now known as "lower 6th missing" at the dentist. Steridenters beware!

JohnSeptember 14th 2007.

I think my favourite hotel in the Britannia group has to be Sachas in back Piccadilly. You throw back your curtains in your room to reveal a magnificent city skyline PAINTED on to the wall. Basil Fawlty would love it.Years ago when I regularly had foreign visitors to my import business I would put up the Americans I really didn't like in the Britannia in Northenden as revenge for their taking me to Taco restaurants in the States. They would emerge the next day bleary eyed having been kept up all night by the noise of Friday's disco clientele shagging and fighting in the car park prior to their journey back to Wythenshawe.

GordoSeptember 14th 2007.

Whats this bumming drinks and meals? I need to know, it sounds fun. Thyme out? connect to this address www.manchesterconfidential.com/index.asp… an intelligence test. :-)

steve hayesSeptember 14th 2007.

Where is Thyme Out Deli. You've done it again. Lots of script, special offer and no address. You have to realise as with Gordo and the other over educated 'critic', we do not all live and stagger about the city, bumming meals and drinks and therefore are not aware of the locations of these establishments. Regards Steve hayes

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