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Sleuth: 13/07/07

Doctor Love, Peel Holdings, up in smoke and the French President

Published on July 13th 2007.

Sleuth: 13/07/07

Fancy that
Two entirely unrelated events.
1) Peel Holding’s dislike of the Congestion Charge plan proposed by the Association of Greater Manchester Authorities is well-known. Peel also seems to have a guaranteed page one position in our esteemed local newspaper when they want to make their anti- Congestion Charge points.
2) Our local newspaper is negotiating for distribution in the Trafford Centre as a free organ, just as it is in the city centre. That would mean a nice boost in the circulation figures and thus more kudos with their advertisers.Definitely a coincidence. Neither situation could possibly be related in any way.

Peeled back
Peel Holdings MD Andrew Simpson put his arguments against Congestion Charging in a lucid way at the Manchester Confidential debate at the Circle Club on Monday. As did Sir Richard Leese on the other side. For once the whole discussion resembled something intelligent. Still thought Sleuth, having Paul Henley from the Federation for Small Businesses as Simpson's comrade in arms was an odd choice. Henly kept talking about the effect on independent retailers of Congestion Charging. Maybe he forgot the effect the Trafford Centre has had on independent retailers for the last decade in Eccles, Urmston, Stretford, Altrincham, Bolton, Bury, Rochdale, Wigan....indeed everywhere within the region.

Doctor Love
A Manchester academic who will have to be renamed Dr Love for the purposes of this story (and his job), had a joyous sexual tryst in his flat last week and in a state of post-coital euphoria leapt naked onto his balcony. Time he thought for a quiet cigarette. But seeing some girls walking down below, he got giddy and forgot he was short-sighted. “Hello, girls?” he called in all his naked glory. “Hello Dr Love,” his students called back. The first lecture after the summer break will be interesting.

Monsieur Rouge de Vieux Trafford
Sleuth is not convinced that Manchester United supporters are people who live far away in London, other countries, and distant planetary systems – although there is something decidedly otherworldly about Eamonn Holmes. And for that matter Terry Christian and Angus Deayton. But he was intrigued by the Guardian piece last Saturday focusing on the exercise habits of world leaders. Thus George Bush likes to keep fit by invading countries and Gordon Brown by saying no to super-casinos. Then there’s Monsieur le President of France, Nikolas Sarkozy, pictured here on his daily jog. Altogether now, in the local accent of Stretford, ‘Gloire, Gloire Homme Uni, Gloire Gloire Homme Uni, Gloire Gloire Homme Uni et les Rouges va marching on on on.

Thrills ’n’ pills ’n’ politics
Sir Richard Leese is becoming a star performer in the city, ever ready with a quip and a one-liner – we might have to give him his own column at this rate. Reputation wasn’t proving enough at Ritz for the Happy Mondays gig on Sunday though. Gordo, the man of meat, tells Sleuth he wandered past and the staff on the Ritz door weren’t letting Captain Leese in. “Gordo,” he said, “they won’t believe that I’m the Leader of the Council.” Gordo did the right thing, flashed his press card and in a second they were in there: the most unlikely dancers to ‘Loose Fit’ the world has yet seen.

Just like the Norman Conquest
Still the Leader of the Council attending a Monday’s gig just shows how fast the years have passed. Hey look at that people - Madchester has come of age, it’s part of the heritage industry. When did that happen? (In 1990, some cynics might say) And next week: Hacienda: the Exhibition opens at Urbis from Thursday. What’s that style of music: oh yea, acid old people’s home.

Manchester Central lights up
There has been much local discussion this week about Shaun Ryder smoking all the way through that Happy Mondays gig at the Ritz. Shauny-babes flouting the rules – what a shocker. Still it was worse, the night before, at Industrial Resolution, the Manchester International Festival clubbing event, when the bouncers gave up chucking people out after the thousandth punter sparked up.

Another night in Manchester
Sat in the Festival Pavilion after the William Orbit concert Sleuth was joined by Tom Bloxham, his wife Jo and two Dutch artists. One of Amsterdamers was looking startled, “but this is so civilised, in here,” he said. Turns out, he was still reeling from stumbling into Yates’ the previous night, a Saturday, and the ancillary action on Portland Street. “There were men and women fighting, being sick it was like,” he stuttered, “like a Hieronymus Bosch painting.” “It was actually a Festival Fringe event,” said Sleuth. “Was it?” asked Mr Dutch. “Sadly no,” admitted Sleuth.

The Festival Fringe
Following on from the previous story Sleuth looked over to see Tom Bloxham locked in thought. “This is a great idea,” he said, “we could call it Peterloo Massacre Re-enactment Weekends, it would explain a lot.” Well if the Chair of the Festival can’t see it done for the return of the Festival in 2009 then nobody can. Rowdiness as entertainment has got to have legs. Anybody for a pint.

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7 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Al MackJuly 13th 2007.

Two entirely unrelated events1) Manchester Confidential's dislike of Manchester City Council has stopped. No more negative articles, just photo opportunities with councillors dressed as teddy bears, and pandering pieces. ("We might have to give him his own column" they say about council leader Richard Leese). 2) Manchester City Council appear to be a major advertiser on Manchester Confidential."The Voice of Manchester" or "Money Talks?"

KarlJuly 13th 2007.

Not sure about the favouring the council comment Al, you read that Castlefield article on the headline here.

GordoJuly 13th 2007.

Surprised you actually read us John. Al, good to see you again my son, where's my pint? It's time you took your Uncle Gordo out for a drink.

AlJuly 13th 2007.

Im pretty sure it's your round Gordo, but a pint in the Town Hall Taven seems appropriate -)

FukcreJuly 13th 2007.

Listen Confidential might occasionally be a bit biased, or just crap, but I don't believe it's anymore biased then any other media voice in Manchster. It also offers an occasionally independent voice that's different from the otyher media in Manchester. It also attempts humour and sometimes is very funny. Maybe the Evening News could do with a bit of that, it's so straight.

AnonymousJuly 13th 2007.

les Rouges vont marching on on on. Did no-one teach you anything!

johnJuly 13th 2007.

Karl, you should know by now that man CON sucks up to anyone who slips them a fiver.

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