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Sleuth 13/03/2009

Library Theatre set to leave the city, MUTV plays Pallister’s organ, the Queen goes dancing

Published on March 13th 2009.

Sleuth 13/03/2009

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Library Theatre to leave the city
After the Sleuth story last week about the Library Theatre eventually moving to the old Theatre Royal on Peter Street when the renovation of the Central Library starts, Sleuth hears more gossip. Initially it seems the Library Theatre will take up residence in The Lowry at Salford Quays whilst the Theatre Royal (or some other venue) is prepared. This will give the Lowry a rep theatre which is what they’ve sought for a while. The Library will also during this interim period perform in various locations around the City of Manchester. They’ll have to, as the move would obviously present a problem. The Library Theatre is after all funded by the City of Manchester, it is their theatre, so having it in Salford for a while might raise the ire of the Manchester rate-payers. Well the petty ones at least.

Let’s all get it together
Sleuth thinks the move discussed above is eminently sensible. Manchester and Salford, and Trafford for that matter, are indivisible in terms of audience, history and character. Such a move would acknowledge this and show the two cities working together in a grown up way. All hail the move, thinks Sleuth. Although probably the Lib Dem opposition in Manchester will oppose such a proposal. They might be able to resist being petty. In fact Sleuth thinks the three boroughs should begin negotiations to formally merge: reflect the collective city’s true size. Maybe the Library Theatre move can start that process.

The Cocks of the North
Sleuth thinks MUTV is a very interesting channel full of excellent post and pre-match analysis. It’s a fairly free medium as well, free as in it allows its audience a great deal of room when it comes to comment. Sometimes this can lead to problems. Here’s a priceless MUTV moment recently with ex-United defender Gary Pallister, famous for his robust tackle, being somewhat surprised by a caller from Leicester on a phone-in show – click here So altogether now with that famous Manchester United song, ‘We are the pride of all Europe, the cocks of the North..’ Sleuth likes how the foxy presenter can’t stop herself having a quick glance.

Thin base for diet
Is it possible to hold a Weight Watchers meeting in the home of pizza? According to Pizza Express it is. Having designed a pizza that's only 500 calories and under 5g of fat, Sleuth heard this week that they're now ready to take on Weight Watchers members by hosting their weight loss meetings. Yes the ones where you get weighed and talk about targets and points. A trial meeting will take place at Pizza Express on South King Street next Tuesday to see if the concept of pizzas and weight loss can work together in harmony. The meeting will take place when the rest of the place is still open. Let’s hope nobody gets a hold of the ice cream heavy puddings menu. Or hears another customer say, “yea, that’s a Weight Watchers meeting, can’t you tell?”

The Queen spends night with Sleuth
Sleuth was out clubbing all night last Saturday. He was showing off his moves (he was a professional dancer between the ages of 19 and 23) when who should he see on the dance floor but Queen Victoria. They got on like a house on fire, he particularly liked her dayglo adornments, very rave-scene circa 1988. Well one thing led to another....hot chick. She then climbed back on to her monument in Piccadilly Gardens but forgot to remove certain tell tale signs of her late night activities. She won’t be amused you know.

White van man reveals true nature
Sleuth thinks the decline in spoken English is terrible. Honestly all the swearing that goes on, the easy use of expletives. You can’t even sit in a football stand these days without somebody cursing in a most horrible way – or is Sleuth being too delicate? Sometimes though it’s sort of funny. So when Sleuth spotted this van in the hills above the city he couldn’t help smiling. It’s crude, but it’s to the point. Who hasn’t wondered about getting someone round to get rid of the rubbish and muttered something along the lines of the sign on the back of the van.

Sleuth’s rant of the week
This was over the Victoria Station buffet bar story (click here) and Sleuth doesn’t know what to think. The enterprise of the man with the phone is perhaps laudable given the direness of the surroundings. Dawn says..“ I went in there with my toddler whilst waiting for a train. A track suited customer came in, took a chair from my table went over to the fruit machine to unplug it, put in his mobile phone to charge it and sat by the socket with his pint. Meanwhile a woman sat down next to me and downed nearly a pint of red wine. The place is bizarre.” It certainly is thinks Sleuth. It’s also an embarrassment to the city.

Sleuth’s ‘bit too obvious’ rant of the week
Sleuth is looking forward to Gordo and Mark Mottram’s Pot au Feu night (click here) next week. One of our regular readers and prolific gourmand’s bought a ticket too. This is Johnthebrief. He commented on the site: “ Hopefully this will be as much of a gastronomic triumph as previous occasions. I'm bringing a food-loving girl with me and hoping that this feast will be the key that finally unlocks her charms....” John, we send out emails to over 80,000 people at least three times a week, not sure putting a comment up like this is the most subtle way of winning her over.

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Ali McGowanMarch 13th 2009.

Merging Manchester, Trafford and Salford together? You could add in a few other local areas, formed a joint council. But what the hell to call it? How about... Greater Manchester????? :)

esquiloMarch 13th 2009.

I agree that Salford, Trafford and Manchester should work more closely (and I'd include Stockport, Oldham, Bury and Tameside as well, but i'd be loth to see more power, money and influence headed into the hands of Karney and his cronies. Let the boroughs run their own social infrastructure while joining together on marketing, development zones, transportation and cultural activities. That cohesion could be shown in the branding of the boroughs, eg: as"The Manchester Borough of Trafford". Mind you, there'd be plenty of luddites claiming devolution for Denton and independence for Irlam

Kev PMarch 13th 2009.

I agree, they should all be merged! Manchester is where it's at!

Red KenMarch 13th 2009.

You must watch the Gary Pallister video , its so funny . The lady who is talking to him cannot help but keeps having a furtive glance at his , well just watch it thats all

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