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Sleuth 13/01/2012

Balotelli and Tevez, Drive-by Pie, Odd Wine Names, Calendar Blunder

Published on January 13th 2012.

Sleuth 13/01/2012

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.
 This week Sleuth has been assisted by Mr Paul Scholes who came out of retirement to help compile the column. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Sleuth Sends A Letter To Mr Waterstone

Sleuth was reading this article about Waterstone’s getting rid of the apostrophes in their name and calling themselves Waterstones so he sent in a letter.

Dear Mr Waterstone,

I heartily approve of what youre trying to do concerning the overuse of apostrophes. Recently the experience of buying Hobsons Choice and a Midsummer Nights Dream was made much easier through this. A friends friend of mine said just today, “Were pleasantly surprised theres somewhere were we can go without apostrophes. Isnt it great.” “Youre right it is,” we said from our Spinningfields office, “lets celebrate.”



PS At least grocers wont advertise potatoes in the plural and put in an incorrect apostrophe this way. Although they may still spell them potatos 

Names, A Different @titude

Sleuth and Lynda Moyo were talking about names and how they can be abbreviated. This was caused by Tough Nun Moyo musing on Beyonce’s baby’s name Blue. She even was inspired to write a piece called ‘Baby Names: Is Beyonce’s Blue For You’. The chat moved on to how people describe themselves. “I know someone who’s known as Matt but writes it M@,” said a scribbler in the office. “And when he gets something wrong does he call himself Tw@,” said another.

Sleuth and the MEN’s Calendar sabotaged

Men CalendarMen CalendarThis was spotted by Sleuth’s colleague at Place North West and as he wrote: ‘The GM Business Week 2012 calendar sent out by the Manchester Evening News chose this image of Spinningfields for January. Not just any part of Spinningfields' millions of square feet, but a vacant floor of an office building on Hardman Street.

This was the floor vacated by the Manchester Evening News in 2011, (as they moved) to an industrial estate in Oldham. The question is: was it an honest mishap or a deliberate gag by the calendar designer, a bitter-sweet gesture from a sub-editor harking back to their former home?’ 

Sleuth Sees A Sign Of Change At Arena

Speaking of MEN departures the sign has finally come down from the MEN Arena which is now just the Manchester Arena. See below for the ghostly impression of the old name. Not that some older folk will notice, as Sleuth knows one or two who still  refer to it as The Nynex Arena, after about fifteen years of it not carrying that name. Still some people call Manchester Central, G-MEX, and House of Fraser, Kendals. 

Ex-MEN ArenaEx-MEN Arena

Sleuth’s Quick Pies For Motorists

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Sleuth loves this just over the border into Yorkshire. The take-away pictured to the right is on the way to Todmorden and perfect if you feel peckish. And it’s USP? Well we’ve had drive-thru McDonalds, and drive-thru KFCs, now there’s Drive-by Pie. Sleuth’s going to pitch the idea to Greggs - he should make a fortune. 

Gordo, Sleuth And The American Meat And Greet

Sleuth met Gordo on New Year’s Day for a drink. Gordo had brought a present in a plastic bag. Everywhere was closed apart from the Waterhouse, a Wetherspoon’s pub, on Princess Street. Sat at a nearby table were two charming Americans with outlandish trainers on their feet who turned out to be pilots on a stop-over. The ‘sneakers’ helped them relax apparently. 

Pictures 031
Sleuth and Gordo made the Americans come out drinking. This being a Sunday on New Year’s Day it was hard to find anywhere open. They had to settle on the New Union in The Village. Gordo revealed what was in the bag: it was a three foot long side of beef, vacuum-packed with blood running underneath the polythene, it looked like a severed arm. Once people had got used to that and this being the New Union, there was some amusing, if childish banter, about the size of meat Sleuth was packing.  

Rafa Of El Rincon’s Spanish Revenge

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With the Americans packed off to recuperate before piloting planes out of Manchester the following day, Gordo and Sleuth went for a meal at Spanish restaurant El Rincon. After a meal and a needless bottle of industrial strength Rioja, the pair were ready to call it a day. But then Rafa, the owner of El Rincon, sent over another bottle of the super-strength Rioja he keeps by for making fools of already merry people. Sleuth can’t remember its name, but when Neil Sowerby emailed him this picture of a bottle of wine, the name seemed to ring a bell: certainly in describing how Sleuth felt the following day. 

Mario Balotelli Rumour Of The Week (Incorporating Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists)

Mario Balotelli has decided to buy Carlos Tevez as an act of charity, and to keep him at home as gardener with special duties to keep the bench warm.

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8 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

tblzebraJanuary 13th 2012.

Potatoe is worse.

It's still Kendals for me; Harrods didn't kill the name, neither will House of Fraser, especially when it's etched above the central entrance.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
Lauren LewisJanuary 13th 2012.


suzyblewJanuary 13th 2012.

Hear hear!

AnonymousJanuary 13th 2012.

Doesnt slueth liked to call Noma angel medow?

AndyBJanuary 13th 2012.

Debenhams or Pauldens?

1 Response: Reply To This...
tblzebraJanuary 13th 2012.

Rylands for me Andy.

John NuttallJanuary 14th 2012.

The wine name reminds me of when I lived in Spain and my flat mate would receive letters from her parents with her father's name, Mr. C.O. Jones proudly displayed in the return address on the envelope much to the amusement of the Spanish posties as it was the Spanish equivalent of being called Senor B.O. Locks

David in CheshireJanuary 26th 2012.

Er, did somebody change the name of Kendals? I really hadn't noticed.

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