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Sleuth 12/09/2008

Sky bar cracks, Robert Carlyle turns into Robbie Coltrane and Japanese immigrant discriminated against

Published on September 12th 2008.

Sleuth 12/09/2008

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Sky bar gets closer to sky
Sleuth was stuck in traffic chaos last night. Turns out one of the windows had cracked on the 23rd floor of the Hilton Hotel – the location of sky bar Cloud 23 - and the whole Deansgate area was cordoned off. Sleuth has been investigating. He can categorically state that the crack wasn’t caused by maintenance staff failing to understand exactly where the new emergency exit was to be placed. Nor that the queue to get into Cloud 23 and then the wait for a drink had caused somebody to snap. Although Sleuth does wonder if the Hilton was jealous and wanted its own cordon. After all the Radisson Edwardian and the Midland Hotel will soon acquire one with the Labour Party conference. In fact maybe the crack was caused by Gordon Brown trying to throw Alistair Darling out for being ‘dysfunctional’. By the way Spiderman came and sorted things and Cloud 23 is now open for business as usual.

Blinded by the light
Sleuth was wandering in a daze around Manchester city centre last night, when like the three wise men he saw a great star shining in the west (well actually south east). He went to investigate: it was one of his favourite new buildings, Building Design Partnership’s offices, lit inside from top to bottom – click here. It looked lovely, it also seemed that there wasn’t a single person in the place. Then Sleuth remembered the spiel he’d had from these architects about how this place was one of the ‘greenest’ buildings in Manchester, with the lowest carbon footprint. Maybe in that case someone should turn the lights off occasionally.

Who’s that Scot?
Sleuth went to see the Massive Attack gig at Castlefield last weekend. One of the stewards said: "Hey, you seen who that is over there? It’s Robbie Coltrane." Sleuth searched in vain for the large Scottish actor. “I can’t see him, do you mean the man famed for his lead role in Cracker and as that hairy giant in Harry Potter?” asked Sleuth. “No,” said the bouncer, “I mean the skinny Bond villain who took all his clothes off in that other film once." Sleuth got his eyes focused properly, "I think you mean Robert Carlyle." The steward said, “oh yeah, same difference, he’s Scottish isn’t he?”

Awards bash (literally)
Sleuth hears that it all backfired at the North West Entrepreneur Awards at the Co-op on Miller Street recently. When ‘entrepreneur’ Scott Alexander (who describes himself as ’16 stone of sliced and diced muscle’) won an award it seemed several other ‘interesting’ sorts violently disagreed. The event had to be wrapped up half an hour early, according to our friends at Crain’s Manchester Business. Sleuth hears that event organisers Square Mango are debating whether to create a new entry for dynamic sorts who like to ‘ Kick off in public places’.

Opening bash
Speaking of events and such, Sleuth couldn’t help raise a little smile at the MEN Diary’s description of the opening event at the new Panacea in Alderley Edge as ‘a glitzy launch bash’. Given what happened at the original Manchester venue last year, it was an unfortunate phrase, and guests were probably hoping that history wouldn’t repeat itself with more bashing. Sleuth wonders if the Diary editor, Dianne Bourne, had a cheeky grin on her face when she wrote it.

Local government endorsed discrimination
Sleuth thinks that discrimination is a terrible thing. He was wandering along Great Ancoats Street the other day when he saw this vast sign. There is a clear eradication policy here against Far Eastern incomers. More seriously though Sleuth wonders about the reasons behind the sign. The Landclinic company who put it up appear to be a private concern who’ve won a large local government sum to get rid of knotweed. Good for them. Sleuth would love to know why they need to spend said public money on telling us they’re clearing out weeds. Why do we want or need to be told? Perhaps other services need to put bleeding obvious signs up. Watch out soon for notices on buses telling us this is a method of transportation useful from getting from A to B.

Sleuth’s rudest Confidential rant ever
This followed our story that the Press Club was actually the CERN black hole – click here. A reader calling herself Princess wrote: ‘So many stories to tell about the Press Club! Best one for me though, was I walked into the cubicle to find one of the dwarfs from Snow White stood on the loo, with a rather large, gothic lady kneeling down giving him a rather intimate kiss in a place only adults should know about! I had to bleach my eyes when I got home!’ Sleuth says not big and not clever. Well definitely not big.

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42 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

But, I also have an impression that the quality of this site is not the same as it used to be. Surely it is not improving.

CubbySeptember 12th 2008.

Descriminated against? Really? Come on... please. Is it some sort of pun I'm not getting?

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

"Japanese immigrant descriminated"It is spelt incorrectly twice on the email.

JonSeptember 12th 2008.

It's called Destino. We can forget the conspiracy and can't open nonsense about Steve.

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

Japanese Knotweed is a highly invasive, rapid growing species that can grow through substances such as concrete and cause thousands of pounds worth of damage to building owners etc... It is not easy to remove and simply putting a bit of weedkiller down doesn't work so maybe the company are telling people what is going on because a) people who live nearby probably have a right to know about it as it may affect their property and b) because they are a business and isn't advertising generally how business let potential customers know about their services?

also a conspiracy theoristSeptember 12th 2008.

Can anybody clarify exactly what the 16 stone of 'sliced and diced muscle' actually does. I've seen him driving around town, out on the town a lot, in the gym a lot, on TV a lot, but when you google him it doesn't make any sense.There are all sorts of things online about him which lead me to beleive all may not be as it seems. For example he doesn't actually own that apartment he was seen in on tv, he just rented it, and the devlopments in town where he is meant to own BTL's are all poor yielding. Also that stuff about buying a town in Bulgaria... did it ever really happen? Then there is the company he claims to own which there is no record of, and the fact that he says he personal trained hollywood stars like tom cruise but TC's people say they never heard of him????? All sounds a bit sus' to me. Maybe Man Con should investigate and do an expose like Ney York Times with the 9/11 faker?

kevin sutclifffeSeptember 12th 2008.

Steve pilling is going to have a new place , I was told this morning . Its near King St and is not going to be called Knotweed

Mr Japanese KnotweedSeptember 12th 2008.

Am I being paranoid or are they all out to get me?

AeronSeptember 12th 2008.

I agree Karen H. And as a work colleague said to me the other day, it's the only site that has managed to get us regularly reading online news. And we're a bunch of hard-nosed ex hacks.

Bring-the-noiseSeptember 12th 2008.

After that comment "clever", I bet you won't be winning any competitions! How's that for irritating!

Cool HandSeptember 12th 2008.

Why not? Steve Pilling probably deserves a fan club. Luke Bainbridge definitely does. Read his "Never Mind the Balkans" article on ManCon

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

you heard wrong. steve can not open in town for some time yet...

JimSeptember 12th 2008.

This site is good for food offers only. The journalists should just give up and try their hand at something more appropriate for them e.g. writing for the Mail

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

What is this? The Steve Pilling fan club web site?

GordoSeptember 12th 2008.

Karen H, what's your route to work in the morning?

cleverSeptember 12th 2008.

The articles on this site are always so irritatingly written. Really really crap journalism.I only come on here to enter the competitions fortunately.

AlSeptember 12th 2008.

I can't believe you could be so frivolous about Japanese knotweed! Japanese knotweed ruined my life, it targeted me when I was at my most vulnerable and caught me unawares. As anonymous says please be aware of the danger. The signs are there, Japanese knotweed tends to be slightly shorter than English knotweed and smells of raw fish. Ask for identification before letting any knotweed in your house.

MattSeptember 12th 2008.

Writing for the Mail??????? Are you serious? I'd rather go and boil my head in a nuclear incinerator.

A Private EyeSeptember 12th 2008.

Bang on Karen H. It tickles me how often satire is lost on so many of ManCon's readers.

AvoSeptember 12th 2008.

I fear that the invasion of Japanese knotweed is inextricably linked with Arnie Hira and his recently opened Japanese Restaurant...

anonymous 3September 12th 2008.

exactly... very seriousfor more information please e-mail: anonymous@landclinic.co.uk:o)

jimSeptember 12th 2008.

yeah yeah true I do, Id rather it be that way that stuck up Gordos (whoever the **** he/it is?!)

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

'Glitzy launch bash' - what I want to know is who was bashed?! We left soon after 8.30 with the blue lights of Police car and ambulance outside the new Panacea!! It was crowded enought inside, who knows what was going on outside!

AlSeptember 12th 2008.

And now you're in a quandry aren't you? You want to reply to clear your name but you know if you do you'll expose yourself as the Mancon loving whore that you are. Go on, reply, do it, do it, it feels good, you know you want to you bad bad boy

Karen HSeptember 12th 2008.

I read this site because it mixes proper articles with light relief. I think Clever and Cubby on here are missng the point. Cubby seems think the thing about knotweed is serious and not satirical. I think the point was why are Landclinic spending money telling us something when they should just be getting on with it. As for Clever well you're plain wrong or haven't looked round the site enough. I like Jonathan Schofield, Nicola Mostyn, Helen Clifton and Phil Griffin. Not sure about Gordo, think he can be funny but sometimes he's just irritating. Loved the Black Hole thing this week, made me laugh out loud, but I also thought the Revolution Radio thing was good as serious content. People I think want sites to just appeal to one niche area. I like the messy magazine quality of Manchester Confidential. Serious or fun I'm a fan.

AlSeptember 12th 2008.

Erm.... Clever, what the **** are you doing reading and ranting on this article if you "only come on here to enter the competitions"? Methinks you actually read the whole thing, love it, then go and flog yourself for thinking impure thoughts?????

AeronSeptember 12th 2008.

As someone who lives close to the BDP building, I for one enjoy being 'blinded by the light' and I'm sure they will be energy-efficient lightbulbs. In any event, wasn't Sleuth (or his alterego) advocating huge LED screens across Manchester not so long ago? www.propertyconfidential.com/index.asp…;

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

Steve already has a place near to kings st. it's a coffee shop.

AvoSeptember 12th 2008.

Shampers, that is TERRIBLE!!!

AeronSeptember 12th 2008.

As for Mr Japanese Knotweed, you get the award for rant of the week lol

too many shoesSeptember 12th 2008.

You come across as a right snide little git Mr Clever! People like you get on my nerves. You're quite happy to take competition prizes from a publication that you claim to abhor! Well, I think that says more about you than it does about Man Con.

deli llamaSeptember 12th 2008.

In the old days at Moor rd they did a course on horticulture. One question was asked as to what one should do if you found Japanese knotweed in your garden, the answer from an experienced Stockport parkie was " move house".......

AvoSeptember 12th 2008.

Restraint of trade covenant kicking in?!?!

Yeah YeahSeptember 12th 2008.

Jim, this site is not about journalism you silly t**t. It's got it's tongue firmly in its cheek, unlike, it seems you, who is firmly stuck up his own arse.

conspiracy theorySeptember 12th 2008.

hmmm, cordon around the tallest building in manchester on september 11. coincidence? i think not. apparently there is a crack in one of the three layers of glass enveloping the hilton tower which has been there for about 8 months. reports of falling shards of glass not true.

CubbySeptember 12th 2008.

Karen, I got the joke. I wrote that because as far as I was aware descrimination is spelt discrimination (as indeed it is spelt in the article title).For the record I like ManCon's humour and gossipy news-sense...

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

Th problem of Japanese knotweed is serious, please be aware of it.

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

I would not mess with him , he looks nasty

shampersSeptember 12th 2008.

Restaurant of Trade covenant shirley ?

Red KenSeptember 12th 2008.

Just heard , Steve Pilling is opening another restaurant in town

jack frostSeptember 12th 2008.

this site is gettin totally depressing

AeronSeptember 12th 2008.

Karen H for MC editor. *Hands Gordo his P45*

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