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Sleuth 12/04/2012

Sleuth's Titanic Tragedy, L'Entrecote Opening Date, Martian Chat, Ladies Loos And Other News

Published on April 13th 2012.

Sleuth 12/04/2012

Sleuth's Tragic And Very Personal Titanic Story

Sleuth still finds this difficult. Tears are in his eyes.

Titanic. Ah that beautiful but doomed ship of tragedy - that perfect example of Man's overweening pride.

Sleuth was present at the launch of Titanic in 1975.

He'd made it from an Airfix model kit and it was about twelve inches long although he hadn't got round to painting it. 

Sleuth, aged 11, launched it in a full bath of warm water. 

Unfortunately on its maiden voyage the unsinkable Titanic collided with a berg of Imperial Leather. This, and some haphazard glueing, led to a rupture in the right forward bulkhead.

Sleuth could only watch as the stricken ship slipped to the bottom of the bath. There were no survivors. There was no-one on it.

Despite being offered large sums for the full story by ITV, BBC, The Daily Mail and www.jumponananniversaryandbleeditdry.com Sleuth has decided this simple requiem in Manchester Confidential should suffice.

That older man off Strictly Come Dancing is unavailable for comment.

Sleuth Wants Steak

Manchester’s newest French restaurant, Le Relais de Venise L’Entrecote, will officially be opening to the public on Tuesday 1 May. Remember there is no menu and a no reservations policy, diners are invited to enjoy one dish – a green salad starter tossed with mustard vinaigrette and sprinkled with walnuts, followed by the restaurant’s signature steak-frites, with an accompanying secret sauce. Sleuth thinks there is usually too much choice in the world, it gives him a headache. This looks like the brutal antidote to excessive decision making. He's looking forward to it.

Couple of weeks to go...Couple of weeks to go...

First Contact At Jodrell Bank

Sleuth was at Jodrell Bank, the massive radio telescope in Cheshire run by the University of Manchester, when he saw this sign about turning off mobiles. Apparently mobile phone signals might get in the way of studying the stars. Sleuth quickly did as requested. Or rather thought he had. So it was a surprise while standing under the huge 76m dish of Jodrell Bank when his phone rang. Sleuth nervously answered it. Turned out to be a wrong number, some Martian talking about ‘invasion plans’ or something. 

Jodrell BlankJodrell Blank

Syrup's Up On Sticky Edge

The Alderley Edge Hotel is a lovely old style hotel in the strange village of the same name. They've now opened a Brasserie with a kitchen run by excellent chef Chris Holland - full report next week. It features cleverly retro dishes, such as this one with a warm golden syrup sponge with real custard. The presentation makes use of a Tate & Lyle tin - see main picture at the top of this page. It made Sleuth smile and stick his paw in like Pooh Bear with a honey pot.  

Sleuth And Students In The Sky

Sleuth likes tall buildings. They make him feel happy about humanity, about our buccaneering spirit and sense of adventure. So he’s going to skip along like an excited child to the topping out ceremony for Student Castle, behind Oxford Road Station, next Wednesday. The ceremony will take place atop the £28.5m, 106 metre high, skyscraper - Manchester's fourth tallest building. Sleuth adores the PR statement that reads 'Student Castle will become one of the tallest student accommodation buildings in the World' although he worries about whether that might prove to be another excuse in avoiding lectures - "I just couldn't get down in time".

Student CastleStudent Castle

Sleuth The Genuine Pub And Lavatory Humour

Sleuth was in Mother Mac's pub on Back Piccadilly recently. The pub is so 'genuine' some of the locals date from 1836. Sleuth was with women and one asked, "Where are the ladies loos?" We all searched high and low, eveywhere for them, and all we found was this door area. Mother Mac's really needs to sort out its signage, make things a bit more obvious. 

Where is that Ladies toilet?Where is that Ladies toilet?

Sleuth And The Tiny Poet

Sleuth was in another genuine pub over the weekend. This was the Black Lion in Salford, a two minute tumble from Deansgate down Blackfriars. The Black Lion puts on cinema, theatre, comedy and live music. Sleuth thinks the publicity for one of Manchester's most famous recent poets was a little low ley on his visit. Just over the door up to the performance space was this post-it note. John Cooper Clarke surely deserves better. 

Famous poet, small signFamous poet, small sign

Sleuth’s Most Astute Comment Of The Year

Sleuth keeps getting loads of info and emails about graphene. Until we've actually started to produce something with this new material Sleuth wonders if it isn’t all wearing a bit thin.

Sleuth's Awkward Ad Campaign Of The Month

This from B&Q. They say 'Latest research reveals one in ten of us get more of a high from home improvement than we do having sex'. Sleuth thought about words such as ‘screwed’ and ‘nailed', often bi-products of 'getting plastered'. There could be an interior logic to the campaign he thought, then again 10% isn't very high, and maybe that group already practice a form of DIY. 

Sleuth's Inane Tweet Of The Week

This is from a young lady Sleuth knows who lives in South Manchester. She tweeted: 'What shall I do today Tweetland, I really have no idea?" Ah yes, thought Sleuth, 'Twitter: the alternative to thinking for yourself'. 

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

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AnonymousApril 14th 2012.

Sleuth did a lot of drinking this week.

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