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Sleuth 11/12/09

Paradise Factory to re-open, Museum bricking it and the best letter of the week

Published on December 10th 2009.

Sleuth 11/12/09

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

How to open a club
Sleuth hears that Paradise Factory, the nightclub on Princess Street, is set to re-open. Carol Ainscow, the property developer from Artisan, is behind the idea: she was also a partner in the first of the new generation of bars on Canal Street when Manto opened in 1991. Also involved is Ben Kelly the original designer of Paradise when it was Factory Records HQ. Sleuth also hears that Peter ‘wrapping paper’ Saville is along for the ride, as well as the bass guitarist of New Order, Peter Hook. That would be the same Peter Hook who this year published his book about the club he owned previously, the Hacienda. The book was called How not to run a club. Sleuth thinks he must be some type of consultant.

A piece of the action...sort of
Sleuth with reference to the above story recalls how when the Hacienda was dismantled souvenir seekers were allowed to buy the bricks and tiles with which it had been constructed. As they had with pieces of the Berlin Wall. Now you can do it again in Manchester. This from the Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI) in Manchester’s website following the start of refurbishment works: ‘Own your own piece of MOSI history! Small sections taken from the fabric of the building will be available as limited edition collector’s items at the end of the project. Beautifully mounted and stamped with the MOSI logo, these will be a unique memento of one of Manchester’s best-loved tourist attractions. Register your interest by emailing memento@mosi.org.uk.’ Sleuth hopes the museum can cope with the rush.

Sleuth's favourite response-by-Gordo of the week
Ithaca operations manager, Jonathan Sasson responded to a complaint by a Confidential reader over her treatment in the restaurant with a lengthy reply of 700 words in our Have Your Say Section (click here). It wasn't the most of humble of messages. This is what Gordo's response was to the poor chappy. Sleuth thinks it might amuse.

Young Mr. Jonathan Sasson, as usual the Ithaca staff snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.The correct reply should be "Gosh, madam, we are so sorry, it's a computer mistake, we do apologise and of course we will knock it off the bill. Did you enjoy everything?"
Not (wiping nose on sleeve) " yerwhat? we aven't 'ad any fucking notice of that. It's not on our fookin computer system. Are yew just trying to skank a fookin' freebie off us yer bitch?"
If you require any help training the staff, let me know and John the Murderer and I will nip down with a couple of pick axe handles.
Sleuth's says well done to the North West binge drinkersSleuth got this email from the Drinkaware campaign this week. 'I thought you might be interested in the North West of England stats about boozing throughout December from the charity Drinkaware. New research shows that in the North West of England 80 million units of alcohol will be consumed at festive celebrations, the equivalent of 35 million pints and 38 million glasses of mulled wine; nearly a fifth (17%) drink more than they mean to over Christmas; half (50%) predict they will drink more than the recommended daily unit guidelines.' Apparently we're one of the regions that drinks the most. Sleuth would like to say a big well done to the North West for such a sterling effort.

Sleuth's alcoholometer
Following from the previous email Drinkaware has unveiled a live examination of the nation’s drinking habits. A festive version of the charity’s unit calculator is on their website at www.drinkaware.co.uk. This allows people to enter what they’ve had to drink in the last 24 hours and compare their drinking to the rest of the nation. Sleuth thinks given that we have one of the highest drinking rates in the country we all have a responsibility to get plastered and post our details on the Drinkaware website. We wouldn't want to let that drinking crown slip would we, be overtaken by somewhere like the limp-wristed Midlands. (Are you sure you're not getting the wrong end of the stick Sleuth? Ed)

Yoga and Alcohol
Oddly enough Sleuth received this email just after the Drinkaware one. It had these pics of how drinking can be a form of Yoga. At last thinks Sleuth a form of exercise where he'll be a natural. Click here for full story.

Sleuth's most aggressive email of the week
This came from the city press office: 'Parents are being given a stark warning this week – buy illegal off road bikes as presents and they will be confiscated and crushed.' Who will be crushed thinks Sleuth? The parents? The email reads on: 'Manchester City Council and Greater Manchester Police are organising a bike crushing event as part of the Keep Christmas Happy Campaign.' Eh? Around 20 bikes, which have been confiscated by police in the Wythenshawe and Northenden areas, will be crushed at Tesco in Baguley between 10am and 12pm on Friday 11 December. Every little helps thinks Sleuth.

Sleuth's favourite dish of the weekThis is the new Quorn Christmas Turkey, perfect for vegetarians who like to keep it traditional. Lovely. Click here for picture.

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16 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AndrewDecember 10th 2009.

Sleuth is naughty poking fun at the Drinkaware campaign. Drink ruined by life. I'm a teetotaler. All that fun I've missed on.

scoteeeDecember 10th 2009.

Better luck with the club Carol Ainscough,you should bring out your own book "how not to run Vulcan Mill apartments"

TFI....woke up this morning.December 10th 2009.

NHS Drinks Tracker now available for iPhone. What a great game....gonna try and beat my high score again this weekend!;0)

CasDecember 10th 2009.

Is why I said 'in my opinion', it's nothing I've not put in writing before directly to Artisan. I picked my words carefully and accurately. The only company in Manchester I know of who wrongly, as they say, charged people VAT on residential service charges for years and then had to refund all the people. Problem was, an awful lot of those people had moved and they just couldn't get hold of them.

AnonymousDecember 10th 2009.

@ Cas - how recent was the VAT thing with artisan? they were my management company for a good few years until early 2007 - shocking they were too

Mark Garner, the PublisherDecember 10th 2009.

Cas, watch your words there, even I would find it difficult to get you a single in Styal nick ;-)

SleuthDecember 10th 2009.

Sleuth's just been in a pub giggling about the Drinkaware campaign. Where do those folks go for a Christmas do? Starbucks?

CasDecember 10th 2009.

You can't doubt she has done financially well. However she has seen the name of Artisan go from respected developer to bunch of crooks over the last couple of years. The way they treat the owners and tenants of their developments is with absolute contempt. I'd try and avoid anything she had anything to do with like the plague. The staff turnover at Artisan is quite comical and in my opinion some of their actions verge on criminal which many people will know anyway.

A sad vegetarianDecember 10th 2009.

Damn you Sleuth, I got really excited then! It's been years since I've had a good turkey dinner, and vegan turkey substitutes are shite, I got all excited when I saw Quorn had one coming out. GUTTED!!!!!!!

Michael FiveDecember 10th 2009.

I thought Sleuth was all about fun and satire?

CraigDecember 10th 2009.

I think ive totalled about two months worth last night in bloody good wine

John McrDecember 10th 2009.

It re-opened last year with the Warehouse Project at the helm, had decent lineups but they didn't touch the venue inside and the toilets were a disgrace, not to mention trying to cram a thousand people into a small venue. Good luck with it but it needs a lot of renovating inside to bring it up to the standard of other clubs in Manchester.

RenoDecember 10th 2009.

This Carol Ainscough and her crew caused the demise of Gastros on Sackville St. I used to love my morning coffee in there overlooking the park. I do not know a single person who has a good word for the woman.

CasDecember 10th 2009.

Sounds like you'll have been affected then. Check your invoices if you still have them.

ancoats girlDecember 10th 2009.

I'm all for the police crushing as many off road bikes as they can - I'm sick to death of scallies speeding round neighbourhoods (e.g. not travelling from A-Z, but zooming around being a pain in the arse) or ruining park grounds with their quadbikes. It gives me enormous pleasure when I see someone's quad/bike being confiscated, towed and eventually crushed. HA.

AnonymousDecember 10th 2009.

"She trained as a teacher but found that she could not stand the "negative thinking". So she went into life insurance sales and accumulated £15,000 which was ploughed into her first property in 1982 - the 25-bedroom Lynwood private residential care home in Seymour Road, Astley Bridge, Bolton. It was followed by the acquisition of the Shorefield Nursing Home at Dunscar Fold, Bolton... " and an investigation by Esther Rantzen on That's Life.

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