Sleuth 11/11/2011

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Oast House Food Shock

Sleuth's buddy rang the other day. "Pint?" said his buddy. "Ok, but I'm hungry too, let's try the Oast House menu in Spinningfields," said Sleuth. There was silence on the phone. "What's wrong?" said Sleuth. "I overheard two people talking on tram about the Oast House, they said the kebabs were 'angin'," said Sleuth's chum. Sleuth thought for a minute, and said, "I'll send you some pictures." He sent the pictures of nice kebabs complete with garlic butter dripping down from the top. The kebabs are always hanging. But not mingin'.

Sleuth's Pictures Of The Week 

Well technically the picture of last week. This is a view of Fletcher Moss Gardens in Didsbury and the enchanting rockery. The red, autumnally blessed, plant in the middle - according to the Green Badge Guide with the green fingers, Anne Beswick - "is an acer, a maple, from the Japonica group, it's proper name is Acer palmatum Dissectum." "Are you sure? It looks more like a muppet trying to hide among the plants," said Sleuth's friend. 

Incidentially Sleuth asked the council whether Fletcher Moss, the city's best kept garden, was in danger from the council's budget problems. Sleuth's been assurred that current levels of maintenance are going to be continued. They should be thinks Sleuth.

Sleuth's Other Big Red Thing Of The Week

Sleuth's had a good couple of weeks for big red things. He was at the autumn menu launch of the new Cicchetti menu with Gordo (click here) when he was presented with this. Turned out to be a tomato soaked in sweet things. It was a little marvel. It was a pudding tomato. A dessert pomodoro. 

Sleuth's Shooting Chefs And Restaurateurs Of The Week....And Shaun Ryder

Sleuth got talking to Marcello Di Stefano who owns Cicchetti. Marcello was proud to announce that he'd shot the pheasant Sleuth was about to eat, in Cheshire fields close to Macc. "Jeez," said Sleuth, "first Robert Owen Brown of the Mark Addy and now you, shooting your own menu. Is there a coach that pulls up in Albert Square every Saturday afternoon to pick up armed chefs and restaurateurs for a day's carnage?" "That might be an idea," said Marcello, "at least that's proper locally sourcing." Sleuth nodded and looked across the road just as Shaun Ryder wandered past being filmed.

Sleuth's Dreams Of Angry Dogs

Sleuth was walking through Seymour Park in Old Trafford. He sat on a bench and had a dream he was being chased by the mad dog below. Police investigations have subsequently tracked the dog down and the dog claims that it (the dog) was in fact being chased by Sleuth. 

Sleuth's Dip Of The Week 

Sleuth nipped into the excellent tiled underground boozer on Bridge Street, The Gaslamp, this week. Something was up. "What's that smell -is it chlorine?" asked Sleuth. "It's our pot-washing machine," said the lad behind the bar, "it makes the smell everytime we use it and the extractor fans annoy the customers with the noise they make so we don't turn them on." "It's horrible," said Sleuth. "It'll fade soon," said the lad before adding, "some people come in and ask whether, with the smell and the tiles, we used to be a swimming pool?" Sleuth could see why, so he bought himself some pints and jumped in at the deep end. 

Sleuth's German Tuition

Sleuth's been enjoying the Manchester Pub Guide (click here). He likes the beer styles glossary. This reads, 'Lager: a beer style from Europe which is bottom fermented and then stored in tanks to mature (known as 'lagering' - lager being German for 'to lay down')'. That makes sense thinks Sleuth, recalling the good old days of Peter Street when lagering would make the customers of Brannigans, Squares, Bar 38 and the rest lay down their stomach contents all over the pavement. 

Sleuth Recalls That Old Fashioned Thing - The Property Boom

Sleuth was sent the picture below by a reader who lives in the CHIPS building in New Islington, Ancoats. It's one of the boards used as part of a display by developer, Urban Splash, to describe their 'Millennium Community'. Maybe they should get rid of these boards thinks Sleuth.

'Things are moving fast,' the panel reads. 'In Spring 2006...' the panel reads. 'In March 2007...' panel reads.

"And then it doesn't really go any further," said the CHIPS resident, "Or rather, in 2009 everything stopped apart from some work on the canal and then in 2011 the Ancoats Dispensary they promised to save started to be demolished. It's like a wasteland around here."

"That's a bit harsh," said Sleuth, "there's loads in New Islington ready to take off when the next boom comes."

"Boom," said the reader, "I don't think Sleuth's been following the news."