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Sleuth 11/05/2012

Mere Country Club Invaded, Expensive Windows, Lovely Birds, And The World's Most Boring Book

Published on May 11th 2012.

Sleuth 11/05/2012

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's twisted truth. 
He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Sleuth’s Most Boring Book Of The Week, Every Week

Sleuth’s favourite coffee shop in Manchester is rapidly becoming the Starbucks on Deansgate. Not for the coffee so much as the absurdity that attends his every visit. The outlet has a book exchange shelf. A while ago Sleuth found this – click here. This week Sleuth found the world’s most boring book adorning the shelf: ‘174 things you must do with your PS3’. That many. Sleuth wondered why they’d not made it to the nice round number of 175. Sleuth thinks a PS3 would be great as a chock to stop planes rolling away. There you go, number 175 on the list. 

Riverting readingRiverting reading

‘Ve Have Vays Of Being Inappropriate’

So Sleuth was at Mere Country Club, the self-consciously upmarket nouveau riche paradise a skip from Knutsford. There was a big book, glossy, smartly produced, marking the 75th year of the country club. In the chapter on social events there was a spread from 2003 of an ‘Allo, Allo’ party - you know from the awful TV series as shown on the picture at the top of the page? One of the pictures featured a couple of Nazi-uniformed officers raising a glass in Mere Country Club to the camera - they looked like they were celebrating the successful invasion of Poland. Er...didn’t Prince Harry get into serious trouble for that sort of caper? 

Sleuth And The Problem With Some Religious Types

Just click here, read the rants. Nuff said. 

Artful Folder Of The Week

So Sleuth’s been watching the deckchair man putting out the deckchairs in Spinningfields. Wandering past he asked the man whether he got bored doing it. “No,” said the chap, “a deckchair is my tool, my mode of expression. I am a deckchair artist and Spinningfields is my canvas.” Something like that anyway.

The artist at workThe artist at work

Sleuth And The Big Windows

Sleuth's a little surprised that each of the windows on Beetham costs £30k - click here. Even more surprised that of the 21 windows to be replaced over the coming weeks two were damaged through vandalism. Were people in glass houses throwing stones? 

Sleuth And Oscar Wilde

Sleuth went to Spinfest in Spinningfields and had a fine time – click here. In the otherwise immaculately maintained gents of the Oast House he found some minor vandalism. Someone in very small writing had left this strange comment. And maybe it was true as he saw a couple having a fierce but very quiet row outside amongst the festival goers. As Mr Wilde said, ‘Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. 

Food And St Ann's 012He lives, he lives

Sleuth’s Beautiful Birds Of The Week

After Spinfest Sleuth walked down the River Irwell from the city centre to Old Trafford. There were lots of lovely birds en route to admire. He fell a little in love with the tall one with the elegant neck and wooed her with a frog. This by the way is Sleuth's entry for the Urban Canal Photo Comp - click here.

Tall, elegant, birdTall, elegant, bird

Sleuth’s Other Bird Of The Week

This is a picture of a young lady outside the Opera House in Manchester. Sleuth presumes something theatrical was going on.  

Theatrical funTheatrical fun

Sleuth’s Smiths' Moment Of The Week

Sleuth was feeling the need for some Smiths' songs. He was feeling too happy. So he thought the excellent track Some Girls Are Bigger than Others would be a pleasant distraction. He called up Youtube here – what a strangely apt intro video given the subject matter thinks Sleuth. 

Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

No matter what the outcome of the games on Sunday the supporters of both Manchester clubs will be congratulating the other team on a splendid year for the city's football. This is because there's never any petty minded bitterness between the two groups of fans.

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AnonymousMay 11th 2012.

The tall one with the elegant neck is a Heron I believe. The other one was attending Vampirette...

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