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Sleuth 09/03/2012

The Magician Called Dynamo, Meringue Love, Fashion Faux Pas, John Bright, New Food Critic For Confidential And Much More

Published on March 9th 2012.


Sleuth 09/03/2012

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Sleuth’s Magic Moment Of The Week With Dynamo

Dynamo is the magician from Bradford that everyone thinks makes David Blaine look like a charlatan and a con. If you like your magic, Dynamo is coming to Manchester 235 for an event called Cirque du Casino featuring Dynamo, which should be a blast and includes various circus themed acts throughout the night. Call 0161 828 0300 if you desire to book for 28 April. Sleuth will be going along too, he wants to ask the main man what it was like growing up in Bradford called Dynamo. 

Oh you butter fingers, DynamoOh you butter fingers, Dynamo

Sleuth’s Pudding Of The Week

Sleuth bumbled into the Olive Press restaurant on Jackson’s Row this week for lunch. He went for a snack and ended up gobbling down three courses. The toffee and banana meringue at £5.95 was a thing of beauty. Then again Sleuth is very partial to a meringue. This was a lush sweet gorgeous sugar rush of thick cream, sodden with toffee, lifted with banana and lightened with meringue. Sleuth ate the eight inch high beast in about three goes - it's pictured below half-munched. Then he ordered another one to take away, and wore it proudly like a hat down the street.   

Gobble, gobble, gobbleGobble, gobble, gobble

Confidential’s New Reviewer Of The Week

This is Dorgo. Like Confidential’s Gordo (click here) but more hairy and more likely to eat vegetarian food. Steak is mostly a favourite though, and bones. Loves a good walk. Again unlike Gordo.

Dorgo - new reviewerDorgo - new reviewer

Confidential’s New Reviewer Eats Member Of Staff

Dorgo can be frisky if not given lunch quickly enough. He also likes to re-enact Indian artwork. 

Dorgo has early lunchDorgo has early lunch

Dorgo's favourite Indian antiqueDorgo's favourite Indian antique

Sleuth’s Misapplication Of Twitter Address....Of The Week

Sleuth loved this Tweet from the I Love Bolton people, ‘Man bailed following assault in Bolton’. Eh. So in what particular is Bolton, loveable? 

Sleuth’s Inane Tweet Of The Week

To the lady who wrote, ‘Whatever is the world coming to?’ and nothing else, the answer is ‘A sad end through the number of ridiculous tweets you fool'. You know who you are. 

Sleuth’s Most Forced Point Being Made By A Humanitarian Organisation....Of The Week

Sleuth wasn’t sure about this press release from Amnesty International UK last week (their capital letters): 

‘PRESS RELEASE. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. EUROVISION: AZERBAIJANI ACTIVISTS SET TO PROTEST AT REPRESSION AS UK NAMES ‘PLEASE RELEASE ME’ SINGER AS ITS CHOICE. 

On the day the UK announced Engelbert Humperdinck as its representative for this year’s Eurovision song contest in Azerbaijan, activists across the Eastern European state were set to protest against continuing repression.

'Tim Hancock, Campaigns Director of Amnesty International UK, said: “There is a deep irony in the announcement. Engelbert Humperdinck is famed for his song ‘Please Release Me’, yet, on the streets of Azerbaijan this Sunday protestors risk arrest by simply taking to the streets to display their discontent with the authorities.’ 

Sleuth says, ‘Dear Tim, there is no irony, just coincidence and you shoe-horning, very painfully, two completely different events together for a cheap effect over an important issue is frankly embarassing’.

Sleuth’s Fashion Tip Of The Week

As the smartest dressed dandy on the block, Sleuth knows a thing or two about fashion, such as the most dashing angle for a comb over, the correct use of corduroy and why one should never dress in camouflage gear during a formal event. So he was surprised not to be invited this week to the Harvey Nichols Spring/Summer Catwalk Show although he did sneak in wearing his come-on-girls blue trunks as depicted here.

The frow (front-row seats, fashionistas) were largely occupied by those famously tanned ladies known as WAGs. Louboutin shoes, scarlet soles and all, were of course the only footwear permissable. Shame then about this lady who forgot to remove the prominent labels. Sleuth has booked her in for a fashion consultation next week.

Louboutins horrorLouboutins horror

Sleuth’s Conservatives In Manchester Story Of The Week

Sleuth wouldn’t join any party or club that would have him but whilst spending the odd moment in Manchester’s temporary Central Library on Deansgate this week he had to smile at the cutting below. The city of Manchester presently doesn’t have a single Conservative councillor. This notice from way back in the 1860s reads: ‘At one time the Conservative cause was at a very low ebb in this district and it was at this time that John Bright said that if he could find a real Conservative working man in Manchester he’d put him under a glass case’. Plus ca change....

Conservatives in a MuseumConservatives in a Museum

Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

Chief Executive of Manchester City Council, Sir Howard Bernstein, often serenades passers-by on Market Street in the city during his lunch breaks. Busking is where he makes most of his money. His favourite act is The Communards and this is him, pictured below, singing 1985 hit 'Don't Leave Me This Way'. 

Sir H is a big fan of The CommunardsSir H is a big fan of The Communards

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11 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Janie1509March 9th 2012.

Re: the offensive fake Louboutins in the above photo - any girl who knows her Loubi's will know that they NEVER have price tags stuck on them in this offensive manner!! These scream FAKE louder than a Scouser at ear-piercing volume! Those stickers have barcodes on them, for God's sake.................

3 Responses: Reply To This...
FloMarch 9th 2012.

I think mine from Harvey Nicks defo had bar codes on - unlikely they'll be fakes?

SmittyMarch 9th 2012.

Jane, that's the angriest rant I've read on Manchester Confidential for ages. Love it. Mancon Gold.

AnonymousMarch 9th 2012.

Jane was just proving that a double barreled sirname and the money to buy "Loubi's" doesn't gaurantee class.

Kevin PeelMarch 9th 2012.

‘At one time the Conservative cause was at a very low ebb in this district and it was at this time that John Bright said that if he could find a real Conservative working man in Manchester he’d put him under a glass case’.

Thank heavens it remains that way!

Duke FameMarch 9th 2012.

You find plenty working conservatives, the prblem is, they are outnumbered by feckless lazy labour types.

suzyblewMarch 9th 2012.

Is that a leonburger?

2 Responses: Reply To This...
Adam BraithwaiteMarch 9th 2012.

Hi SUZYBLEW
it is a leonberger.

Hero
Mark GarnerMarch 11th 2012.

What's a Leonburger and why haven't I eaten one yet!?

gremoliMarch 9th 2012.

....... one T in scarlet, there's only one T in scarlet. One T in scaaaarlet, there's only one T in scarlet etc.

1 Response: Reply To This...
EditorialMarch 9th 2012.

There's now only one t in scarlet, one t in scarlet. There's only one t in scarlet. Unless you're called Johansson, called Johansson...

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