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Sleuth 06/10/2011

Conservative 'shoots' TUC, Yvette Fielding, Charlie Dimmock, Frank McKenna, Cyril Smith Gym

Published on October 7th 2011.


Sleuth 06/10/2011

Sleuth
Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.
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Conservative Party Shooting Horror

The Salford Star came up with the leading image on Sleuth this week. It was taken during the TUC march (click here) last Sunday against Coalition government policies. It shows a Conservative party delegate pretending to shoot the marchers. The Salford Star is, in many ways, an exceptional publication, independent, edgy and sharp. But they've started a campaign to get the Tories to investigate the man in question and chuck him out of the Party. Sleuth thinks that this is a bit po-faced. The silly man in the picture hasn't actually got a gun in his hand. People shouldn't be hunted down simply for being tasteless. Sleuth would be knackered otherwise. We all would. 

Sleuth And Yvette Fielding And The Truth About Psychic Mediums

So Sleuth was at the launch of the Grimm Up North festival this week at Manchester 235 and AMC cinemas. He was helping interview Yvette Fielding of Most Haunted TV paranormal fame. There'll be a full interview later on Confidential. Fielding was good on psychics, paranormals and such people. She said: "I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of these people over many years and I've only met one that I thought was genuine. All the rest, all of them, were absolute fakes. Tricksters." Derek Acorah, made famous by Most Haunted, was not the one Fielding considered genuine. 

Tea And Sleuth 009

Sleuth’s Soppiest Twitter Address Of The Week

This comes from ‘David Johnston @CaringAndParent  A father. A daughter. A family. That is all my love and passion that I'd like to share with you...’ Sometimes life on a desert island without any other humans anywhere near seems very attractive. 

Sleuth’s Favourite Charlie Dimmock Invite Of The Week

Sleuth loves this message he received via email. ‘Please find attached our press release regarding Charlie Dimmock’s latest DVD, Beekeeping for beginners. Charlie will be available for interviews on the 10 October. We are setting up a press day at the Royal Lancaster Hotel during the London Honey Show. Please contact us to book your slot with Charlie. Higher resolution photos are available on request. Best wishes Richard Blunderfield.’ Nice name. Massively exciting news but Sleuth’s decided to wait for the London Honeys Show instead. 

Smudge Jones' Transliteration Of The Week

Smudge Jones of Manchester Confidential looks a bit like the Charles Atlas 'before' pictures. But he's trying with visits to the gym. He's also interesting in his use of language. Chatting in the office the other day he said: "Yeah, went to the gym. I was really pumping the elbs." There was a silence while people tried to work out what elbs were. Eventually someone said, "You mean pounds don't you Sam?" "Oh that's what lbs means is it?" he said.

Sleuth's Ridiculous Notion Of The Week

This from the MEN, concerning the late 29 stone Sir Cyril Smith -Rochdale's former MP. 'Councillors in Sir Cyril’s home town (of Rochdale) want to make sure his name lives on – by renaming a gym after him. The centre, which will open next year, will have an eight-lane 25-metre swimming pool, a learner pool with a moveable floor, a sports hall, thermal and fitness suites, dance studios and a youth gym.' And apparently thinks Sleuth, who met Cyril on several occasions, a vending machine for Hollands Pies, a ball pool consisting of nothing but mushy peas, towels fashioned from battered cod and energy snacks consisting of chips cooked in dripping. 

Sleuth's Picture Of The Week

This is an entrance into the Spa on Hulme Street, off Oxford Road. Sleuth loves the position of the Telecom box and the door. Makes popping in for a 3am bottle of Lambrusco more interesting thinks Sleuth.

Img_2885

Sleuth's Frank McKenna Watch 
This from a few months ago. 'A businessman and publisher well-known on the North West scene is Frank McKenna. He publishes magazines such as DQ which operates in Liverpool and Manchester. Frank loves nothing more than to be in the picture both figuratively, in regards to knowing what’s happening, but also literally.'

In one of his recent DQ’s Frank gets his picture in his own slim forty-something page magazine nine times. Nine times. On one double page spread there are three images of him. Sleuth wonders how many mirrors are in his office. Mind you Sleuth can hardly talk: he gets his picture on the top of Manchester Confidential everyday.'

The current 2011 autumn edition of DQ has 14 photographs of him. Sleuth says, "Oh my God Frank. You're a good looking fella but I don't need to see you that many times." 

 

How many Frank McKenna's can you spot?How many Frank McKenna's can you spot? We've found seven on these pages alone

Sleuth’s Scoop Of The Week

Sleuth was waiting at Firswood Station. He looked at the illuminated Metrolink signs telling him when trams would arrive. Something was up. So he timed them. A tram was apparently due in five minutes. The first minute of this lasted 93 seconds, the fourth minute was 32 seconds long and the third minute was shorter again. Yet the tram arrived within the five minutes. How odd. Sleuth feels he should win some huge journalistic award for this remarkable discovery of time transgression. 

Sleuth Wins Journalistic Award

For the above story Sleuth is pleased to announce he's won the Pointless Hack Award Of The Year at London's Saveloy Hotel in the 'Don't Come Back' section of the evening.

Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

 

Abduls on Oxford Road was the first kebab shop in the West. It originally opened in 1796 to serve nearby Suffragettes with meat based snacks handy while chained to railings.


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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

JohnthebriefOctober 7th 2011.

September ended a week ago

Jonathan SchofieldOctober 7th 2011.

John we would be nothing without you

tblzebraOctober 8th 2011.

How do they know he was a Conservative Party delegate? The only way to tell is the colour of the small logo on the front of his security pass, which you can't see on that photo. Exhibitors, the Press and Manchester Central staff all had to wear the same style of pass. Even Hugh Grant had to have one.

AnonymousOctober 11th 2011.

The fact that he looks a massive cunt is a clue.

Jonathan SchofieldOctober 11th 2011.

Dear Techies...er...can we have a look at the swear filters and see if we can sort things out a bit. Not sure about the last rant.

AnonymousOctober 19th 2011.

I think twat should be allowed...

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