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Sleuth 05/12/2008

New film company with best name, MEN awards shock, Eskimo manners and paella plugs

Published on December 5th 2008.

Sleuth 05/12/2008

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

New film company launches
Sleuth bumps into Mark Kennedy, the true Manc who made the Afflecks Palace mosaics and just about every other mosaic around the city. “What are you up to Mark?” says Sleuth. “I’m moving in a different direction. I’ve started my own film company for the city,” says Monsieur Kennedy. “I’ve got a short film coming out based on the Castle pub on Oldham Street and its closure – theme of the death of the English pub.” “Excellent,” says Sleuth, “and what’s this company called?” “Brollywood,” says Kennedy being totally sincere. Sleuth thinks that wins the wittiest new name in Manchester for 2008.

Eskimo blues
Sleuth hears a pleasant little story from Cathedral Gardens and Urbis. There was a young lady standing outside the North Pole Bar recently. It was her job to attract custom. Sleuth’s buddy was passing by and was a little startled to overhear her bellowing into her mobile phone: "Do you know what they've got me doing? They've got me dressed up as a fucking Eskimo.” Sleuth thinks for that type of job you really need to be in to it. “Or even Inuit,” said Sleuth’s witty chum.

The MEN sexes up
Sleuth hears that the Manchester Evening News theatre awards went well this week. Amongst the luvvies patting each other on the back were the hosts. These were ex-Corrie star Denise Welch and ex-whatever Jane MacDonald. The special award of the night was the Horniman Award, named after Annie Horniman, the theatre patron who created the UK’s first repertory theatre 100 years ago in Manchester. The Green Room won the gong. Welch gave the room the giggles, when she said, “And to present the prize is the MEN’s own Horniman, Paul Horrocks.” Sleuth always thought there was a wicked glint to MEN editor Mr Horrocks’ eyes.

Safe as bars
Sleuth was at Apotheca and Dough in the Northern Quarter on Wednesday. Alyson Doocey, the co-owner, was there talking about the long winded refurb of the bar and the hidden problems. “We found a diamond safe in the basement,” she told Sleuth. “It cost us £20,000 and a three week delay. There were no diamonds in it either.” Sleuth thinks they don’t build things like they used to.

Naked plugging
Gordo set the cat amongst the Albert Square pigeons this week (click here), by reporting on the Great Paella Scam in the European Markets. The paella costs £4 and is all rice and a single low quality piece of chicken. Loads of people responded to the fat one’s observation. One response came from Diane Menendez who wrote: “Well said, Gordo. And if anyone wants a decent paella with plenty of chicken, seafood, chorizo and anything else, visit La Casona Spanish Restaurant at 27 Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383).” Nice plug. Diane Menendez is better known as the Manchester journalist Diane Cooke who owns the restaurant. This rant followed from Denise Mullen: “I'd like to echo Diane Menendez and suggest a visit to La Casona Spanish Restaurant at 27 Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383).” Denise is Diane’s best friend. Sleuth sends his love and says shameless, but good on you girls, we love you. And for any readers out there who missed the address, it’s 27 Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383). That’s 27 Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383). Yes, 27 Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383).

Sleuth’s best opening sentences of the week
‘I first met one of the Baader-Meinhof Gang in the unlikely location of Todmorden. At the time Astrid Proll was on the run from the German authorities for terrorist activities and was officially ‘the most wanted woman in Europe’. Actually, as Harold Shipman, the world’s most prolific serial killer, was my GP at the time, maybe Todmorden wasn’t such an unlikely hideout.’ The writer was Confidential’s very own property and business editor, John Nuttall. Sleuth’s calling the police and changing the locks.

Picture perfect programming
Timing is everything of course. The review of the movie about the Baader-Meinhof Gang arrived just as the film was taken off by the Cornerhouse in Manchester. Sleuth was pleased to see that through some excellent programming it was replaced by Die Hard.

The Gallery with no prices
Sleuth loved Thalia Allington-Woods write up about Jan Cheblik’s show (click here) at the new Artland Gallery in the Friend’s Meeting House. The pictures of Manchester and New York seem to have struck a chord with our readers too. Thalia hadn’t put in the prices though so Sleuth rang up the gallery to get them. The person on the other end of the phone said she wasn’t sure she could let him know. She didn't want people to judge the works like that and didn’t want to put people off. “So when do you propose telling people the price, it’s got to come out some time,” Sleuth said. “If you don’t want an adoring review going out to almost 70,000 people we won’t post the story.” Finally, after phoning the artist, she agreed a ‘from £400’ figure. Those private art galleries, thinks Sleuth, always at the cutting edge of commercial awareness.

Mere hairsay
Sleuth sees this face next to the Briton’s Protection pub every day. He’s seen it about 17,000 times as he passes. Sleuth’s voted yes in the Congestion Charge debate but something about this guy and his hair is getting to him. In Sleuth’s mind the image and text has morphed. Click here for what Sleuth is now reading every time he passes.

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15 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AeronDecember 5th 2008.

Brollywood - Bollywood (geddit);Inuit - In to it (geddit);Hairsay - Hearsay (geddit);Menendez - Cooke (erm??)

Menendez-Cooke, whateverDecember 5th 2008.

Seems like we're not the only ones with cojones.Loved the piece - now run that address by us one more time - was it La Casona Spanish restaurant at 27, Shaw Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport (0161 442 5383)?love Diane and Denise x

Jonathan Ross' sister DianaDecember 5th 2008.

Quote:" Ok people... so you may not love his hair but this man sings like a angle."He may have a chance with the Three Degrees then!

AvoDecember 5th 2008.

The knot in my tie is so big that it puts many a Premiership Footballer to shame. That's why I'm voting yes.

heatseekerDecember 5th 2008.

Olga you sound like a live wire babe i love vodka ,so i will be in the Crown and Anchor the triangle tonight i will wear a red carnatiion in my lapel.

2nd Fan of Hair GuyDecember 5th 2008.

Ok people... so you may not love his hair but this man sings like a angle. He could well be the next big Manchester export so you may regret your rants one day!

Olga StrapondildoskiDecember 5th 2008.

Heatseeker you sound like a sexy a guy how about meeting up to drink some vodka and a de stressing time?

Fan of Hair GuyDecember 5th 2008.

I think the Hair Guy is just soo sexy! And so do all my female colleagues. Hair guy - please call me.

TheElderStatesmanDecember 5th 2008.

"I can't afford to miss one more Barbers appointment...That's why I'm voting yes"Only I don't get a say, on to pay if it comes in. I only have the privilege of traveling through and working in the GM area. And I have to travel a fair way to get into it too.

scoteeeDecember 5th 2008.

Hahaha Mere hairsay, thats Ace!!! Haha

AeronDecember 5th 2008.

I trust Ms Cooke doesn't sub her own page.

heatseekerDecember 5th 2008.

I have hair on the palms of my hands from playing my organ.

Ann CoatesDecember 5th 2008.

I look I might be a member of Take That. That explains the hair and the tie.

Olga StrapondildoskiDecember 5th 2008.

Its a date commrade i will be the one with the huge breasts downing vodka and fighting with the door staff.Bring condoms ,vodka and spare batteries my love.Heatseeker you are going to hit target tonight babe

ShaveitoffDecember 5th 2008.

I am so pleased it is not just me who is weirded out by that guys hair.

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