Welcome to Manchester Confidential
Reset Password
The Confidential websites will be undergoing routine updates. This may cause the sites to go offline. We apologise in advance for any inconvenience.

You are here: Manchester ConfidentialSleuth.

Sleuth 05/06/2009

Batman and the Police Chief, Prestwich turns away from drink and Flexity Swift identified but shush would you

Published on June 5th 2009.


Sleuth 05/06/2009

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Prestwich dries up
Sleuth hears of rebellion in the suburbs. Apparently Prestwich Tesco has decided to act on "advice from the police" to only sell one bottle of alcohol per customer until the Oasis concerts at Heaton Park finish. It’s all very strange because as our reader pointed out: 76,000 people go to Old Trafford to watch the football and nearby supermarkets do not alter policy on alcohol sales and thus inconvenience local people. Tesco say they are being "a responsible retailer". Sleuth remembers Rangers Day on 14 May last year when the Market Street branch of Tesco stacked up cases of cheap booze at the door to tempt the thirsty Glaswegian drinkers in. Very responsible. Also apparently the police know nothing about the advice they’re supposed to have given. Maybe the branch just has a new teetotal manager.

One night in the Northern
Mike Pickering, late of M-People, was in The Northern pub with other City fans on Wednesday. Umbro had invited them in to celebrate the latter’s new deal as shirt designers for MCFC. Debbie, the manager, pointed to Pickering, and said to the Northern’s proprietor John Locke, “I went out with him once.” “For how long?” asked Locke. “Just one night,” said Debbie. “One night in Heaven,” quipped Locke. The latter was so pleased with this he told Pickering. Pickering gave him a hard stare: “you only came up with that story to make that joke didn’t you?” Sleuth can confirm Locke was telling the truth about the story. But maybe without the Heaven bit.

Woman identified
Sleuth loved your comments following last week’s stories about Metrolink – the full interview with Philip Purdy, the Metrolink boss, will now be posted on Monday. What he loved were the comments about the red haired model pictured on the model new tram. Sleuth had wondered who she was. One ranter, Minxie, noted something next to the tram. ‘You daft buggers,’ he wrote, ‘the red haired lady is called Flexity Swift. It says so on her little placard in front of her.’ Flexity Swift, excellent, thinks Sleuth, she really looks like a Flexity Swift. Very Austin Powers.

Sleuth’s most mind-boggling comments of the week
This comes from the increasingly unhinged, expenses fiddling Hazel Blears, MP. She resigned from the cabinet this week and said: "In this next phase of my political life I am redoubling my efforts to speak up for the people of Salford as their Member of Parliament. I am glad to be going home to the people who matter the most to me: the people of Salford.” Yeah right Hazel, you selfless love, you. Sleuth’s thinking of making an effigy of Ms Blears and walking round the flats in Pendlebury asking locals for suggestions of what to do with it.

Salford speaks - badly
The Manchester Evening News ran a big story this week about 18-year-old Danielle Snelgrove from Irlam. She claimed she was forced out of her job at the Trafford Centre store of men's outfitters TM Lewin because she feared they would send her on an elocution course after being told her Salford accent didn't fit with the store's image. Sleuth wonders if TM Lewin knows that the Trafford Centre loves Salford and are the major sponsors of Danielle's local rugby league team Salford City Reds? More to the point Sleuth wonders if the shop doesn’t sell to people with a local accent. Sleuth wonders if Salford MP, Hazel Blears, could buy some shirts there and claim them on expenses.

Sleuth’s rant of the week
On the homepage we’ve been asking you for questions we should ask Chief Constable Peter Fahy when we interview him next week. Sleuth particularly liked this question from a famous ranter: ‘Batman says..What's Greater Manchester Police’s stance on vigilantism?’

Sleuth and the potted plant
Sleuth’s been out too much, he’s been burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. He’s worrying about his mental state. Walking past the potted plants on the window-sill the other day he thought he saw something which didn’t seem quite right. What do you think? Click here.

Sheepless nights
Sleuth was having a long lunch the other day at Room. He liked the story he heard about the woman in the Leftbank apartments in Spinningfields who complains about city noise all the time. Apparently anything and everything gets to her. She’s complained about the bins being emptied, the Food and Drink Festival when it was there, even waiters chatting loudly outside the restaurants during breaks. “So,” Sleuth said, “what did the lady expect, she lives in the city centre, it was her choice.” “It’s worse than that,” said Sleuth’s informant. “She moved here from the Lake District just so she could take advantage of city life. It’s crazy.”

Shush in Ancoats
The Cutting Room Experiment has announced its winning entries, voted by website poll. This is where events for the opening of a new square in Ancoats have been suggested by users on the website (click here). The two most eyecatching for Sleuth are the activities at 7-8pm and at 9pm-11pm. The first is a space hopper race across the Cutting Room Square, the second is the ‘silent disco.’ The blurb on the publicity for this reads, ‘Let's go quietly at the end of the day with everyone's favourite tunes’. Sleuth’s going to invite the lady from the Sleuth story above. It’s definitely her type of event.

A stiff drink needed
One of Sleuth’s favourite Manchester pubs is the Circus tavern close to the junction of Portland Street and Princess Street. It’s a tiny place run by the lovely George who puts crisps out on the tables and gets the staff to bring drinks to the tables. Sleuth was disconcerted the other day to find this sign on the toilet door, see pic below, which read: ‘109 killed by Viagra’. Jeez, what goes on in that toilet to require this sign? On the notice there also was the baffling claim that Viagra has made two men go deaf. Er...just how?

Like what you see? Enter your email to sign up for our newsletters which are chock-a-block with more great reviews, news, deals and savings.

9 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Ken WyattJune 5th 2009.

For the Blears effigy you'll only need one old sock for a lifesize one.Bet she'll still claim expenses for it.

JackJune 5th 2009.

Cornerhouse - what the hell's going on? Can Sleuth investigate why the Cinema Director and Gallery Curator were recently replaced - and by who? Who is programming the films - and why are so few now being shown?

east lancsJune 5th 2009.

They haven't voted Blears in. They've voted for a council member. It'll be interesting to see how yesterday's results go, given she's shown herself to be a supermegascumbag since that article on the Beeb was published. It'll also be interesting to see what the turnout is since the appalling 17% of yesterweek.

StephanieJune 5th 2009.

Sleuth’s thinking of making an effigy of Ms Blears and walking round the flats in Pendlebury asking locals for suggestions of what to do with it. Please give plenty of advance notice of this so I can give this my full attention. Her resignation letter was the most nauseating piece of prose I ahve ever read. Please can we get rid of her...please... please

AnonymousJune 5th 2009.

Re: Prestwich Tesco.I don't believe it makes any difference what your "one bottle of alcohol" is. You can have just ONE small bottle of weak beer OR just ONE large bottle of Vodka.No restrictions on booze sales at M&S (about 100 yards away) either.

louJune 5th 2009.

news.bbc.co.uk/…/8062826.stmSalford… clearly love her - they did vote her back in mid expense scandal.

joogJune 5th 2009.

yay!

LiamJune 5th 2009.

Champagne Supernova please, and some of them Cigarettes and Alcohol. Just one bottle? Yer ****in WOT?

Every Little HelpsJune 5th 2009.

If Tesco is acting on advice from the police then it sends out a message that the police will have difficulty controlling such large-scale events unless they modify the communities that are already inconvenienced by noise, traffic, etc. I can see plans to make Heaton Park a regular venue for this kind of thing being opposed by locals should this be an indication of how they will be policed.Unless, of course, this is all just about Oasis and their ilk. Maybe there's no hysteria about Take That at Old Trafford as nobody is expecting 30-something women to start smashing up the place after a couple of Chardonnays.In any case, I noticed that Tesco has dealt with its self-created problem of how to still make money while selling only one item per customer by taking all the wine off the promotional shelves and replacing them with crates of lager.

To post this comment, you need to login.Please complete your login information.
OR CREATE AN ACCOUNT HERE..
Or you can login using Facebook.

Latest Rants

Anonymous

Looks like Daisy Mill in Longsight is for the chop too. This time MCC own the building and are…

 Read more
Anonymous

The initial plan, by all concerned, was always to save & redevelop Ancoats Dispensary though wasn't…

 Read more
Joan

That's perfectly true, but for various reasons not relevant to the original point. I'm happy to…

 Read more
Anonymous

I'll try again..of course it won't, it's not listed so it will go. The fact that it is elegant,…

 Read more

Explore The Site

© Mark Garner t/a Confidential Direct 2017

Privacy | Careers | Website by: Planet Code | SEO by The eWord