Sleuth 05/02/2010

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Sleuth asks Roberto Mancini and Sir Alex Ferguson each week for a quick thought. This week: bankers and their bonuses
Roberto Mancini
“I 'ave a bigga problemo with the bancas 'ere. The ones in this citta don't havea bigga enough – 'ow you say? - vault to putta ma denaro in.”
Sir Alex Ferguson
“Ah knew it'd be banker agin the Arsenal. Their players melt like fried mars bars on warm Loch Lomand dae. It wer a bonus ah say.”

Wayne's world
Sleuth hears that Manchester Cathedral is being used for nefarious commercial goings on. It will feature in the new Nike ad which will go out every night of the World Cup and shows Wayne Rooney being 'knighted'. At least Nike didn't sneak in like Sony did three years ago to film the interior for the shoot-'em-up computer game Resistance, Fall of Man. Indeed the Cathedral still bears the signs from that row with notices telling people not to film without permission. Nike's upfront money it seems is more welcome to the Diocese.

Gordo at the Gallery
Gordo was with Sleuth at Manchester Art Gallery's launch of the Facing East and ARTIST ROOMS exhibitions. The roles were reversed for once with Sleuth trying to drink the complete stock of gallery white wine. Gordo, meanwhile, went to look at the art. Gordo came back to find a swaying Sleuth talking at a lovely couple of middle-class gentlefolk who were looking a little frightened and concerned by the words of the slavvering, finger pointing, pissed writer. Gordo knew how to calm things right down. “Ee, I tell you what,” he interjected, “that naked fella sculpture in the Mueck exhibition, he doesn't half make a man feel good about his todger, his is tiny."

Confidential's sweet influence
Keeping with Gordo, the large one called into Rosso, the new Italian at the top of King Street. The food is getting better, according to Stephen Lundy, one of the ManCon heroes . The puddings used to be the problem. They were brought in: shameful in a restaurant of this class. But, things are improving. Adam Karim, the gaffer, grabbed Gordo’s arm. “Ok Gordo, I was wrong, I was being too big for my boots…” Those boots are size 13 by the way folks, so that was an awful lot of big-headedness. “Gaston has started making all the puddings in-house, try a couple, see what you think.” Gordo tried Gaston’s Crème Brulee which was spot on, fab creamy texture with the right amount of burnt sugar on top; then, his rhubarb with a walnut and pistachio crumble and ice cream. Loved this as well. And why the change? Why from our review and readers comments of course. Good to have the restaurants listening.

Left Bank Bar
This is good news for a museum and gallery in Manchester. A proper cafe/bar/restaurant will soon open on Bridge Street over the river from the Mark Addy pub. This will be called Left Bank and will be the catering operation for the People's History Museum when it re-opens after a £12.5m refurb and extension this month. What's different with this one though, is that it will open into the evening for food and drink. Run by catering company Couture it will feature a river terrace perfect for sunny evenings. The People's History Museum traces the struggle for democracy in the UK - it has a natural left-field bias. Given the bar and the drinks Sleuth wants the place to have its own cocktail based on bubbly and he has a name for them: Champagne Socialist.

Sleuth's Deluded Local award of the week
Sleuth read about a man called Mr Atkinson (click here) who got a tattoo of football players Robinho and Kaka because he was a fanatical City fan: the one Brazilian had already signed for City and the other was rumoured to be doing so. The first has left and the second never arrived. Sleuth loved the BBC's final comment in the story: 'Mr Atkinson currently does not have a girlfriend'. Quelle surprise, as the French say.

Crooner curry
Confidential's friends, Indian restaurant Zaika in the Great Northern Tower have a live music Valentine's Night event. It features the apparently considerable talents of a well-known city crooner who goes by the name of Mank Sinatra. Indeed Sleuth hears that Mank will be singing several versions of the other Frank's songs: 'New Moston New Moston' for 'New York New York', 'Come Fly-tip with me' for 'Come fly with me', and of course, 'I did it Mancunian Way' for 'I did it my way'. Or maybe Sleuth mis-heard. Anyway if you fancy it you can book on 0161 839 5111.

Manchester moments
Sleuth bumped into Alex Saint, a mover and shaker in Manchester's starry constellation of culture, at the launch of the Don McCullin exhibition 'Shaped by War'. Sleuth as noted above had been dizzy at the launch of the Manchester Art Gallery exhibition the previous night. On Friday evening, the third major launch of the season takes place for 'Walls Are Talking: Wallpaper, Art and Culture' at the Whitworth Art Gallery. All these are major exhibitions, all are excellent. The McCullin one might make you cry. "It's a good week for art," said Sleuth. "It feels like a Manchester moment," said Alex Saint, summing things up and referring to the sea change in the quality of the exhibitions in the city over the last five or six years. Sleuth recommends you visit them all.

Eggs and World Peace
Sleuth was present at the important moment when the editor of Confidential interviewed the Head of the World Manchester Egg Organisation (WMEO), Lord Ben of Castlepickle about the controversial new oeuf. Here's the video in full.

Sleuth's lies to tell tourists part seven
A common local expression is, “Better to have loved and lost than a romantic weekend in Romiley.”This has several versions such as, “Better to have loved and lost than a romantic weekend in Royton (or Urmston, Besses o'th Barns, Gorton and so on).”

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