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Sleuth 03/02/2012

Willy Wonka Comes To Manchester, Salvi's Is Not A YAFI And Mr Stephenson's Lovely Brick, Girls In Hats

Published on February 3rd 2012.

Sleuth 03/02/2012

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

Manchester Get's Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory

Sleuth hears that Manchester's Visitor Information Centre on Portland Street was surprised to learn of the latest tourist attraction in the city. Some American visitors came in and asked to see Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. No seriously. The staff at the Visitor Information Centre were confused.

So the Americans told them about the web link where they'd gained the Wonka knowledge. This is it - click here. And look there are visitor comments and everything. The staff at the Information Centre say they think it's a hoax but Sleuth's nipping down there right now to check it out. After all if we're not going to save the Coronation Street set (click here) we needed some more popular culture attractions aside from the National Football Museum.

The Factory Garden, Ideal For Relaxing And SnackingThe Factory Garden, Ideal For Relaxing And Snacking

Sleuth's And Mr Stephenson's Brick

Sleuth had a show around the new Chetham's School of Music as it almost reaches fit out stage. The £35m plus project is a magnificent piece of modern architecture from Roger Stephenson and his fellow architects in the eponymous practice. The building itself, next to Victoria Station, is monumental, as a major city centre structure should be, yet respects and pays heed to its surroundings. Sleuth loved external building material, a specially designed brick handmade in Yorkshire not far from York. "I'm very proud of it. It's called 'the Chetham brick' and the company is going to market them with that name," said Roger posing with an example. 

Mr Stephenson's good brickMr Stephenson's fine brick

Sleuth And The Mayoral Privilege

Sleuth's friend was walking up Bridge Street when he saw this vehicle (below) parked illegally outside the Freemasons Hall. It was an official looking car and said on a handwritten note on the windscreen, 'Mayor on Call'. As it didn't say 'Lord Mayor' it must have been a representative of one of the other regional towns rather than Manchester's person with a chain. But 'on call'? What emergency was taking place at the Freemasons that required a mayor....and quick.

Mayor on callMayor on call

Sleuth And His Motoring Privileges

Sleuth has also been motoring in town. He had his usual cavalcade of dancing girls following behind in their Rolls Royces. He decided to treat them all in the Midland with champagne and tasty cakes. Here are the cars of Sleuth and his entourage parked outside the hotel. One tries one's best.

Sleuth's modest collection of carsSleuth's modest collection of cars

Sleuth Sticks His Nose In BAAPS

When Lynda Moyo wrote the piece on the PIP breast implant scare last week she interviewed several folk. This included a gentleman from the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons - or BAAPS. You couldn't make it up. Sleuth loved the name of the organisation's boss and his title too, 'Fazel Fatah, president of BAAPS'. Sleuth likes the idea of maybe his surgery being called Fatah BAAPS. 

Sleuth's BAAPS For Balls 

Lynda Moyo in the same story was informed by Nishant Agarwal, Managing Director at Castlefield Clinic, that testicular implants were on the increase - and not always following health problems but for vanity. Apparently the British male isn't mad over them yet and Brazil is considered the country where most men appreciate the fuller look. Or perhaps the country where men simply want one or two more to bulk themselves out a bit - maybe even have a good party trick up their trousers should the conversation falter. 

Sleuth's Mozzarella Balls Arn't YAFI

Sleuth was walking through Exchange Square on Thursday when he came across Salvi's, an Italian deli freshly opened with seating at the back for a meal. He sat down and was overjoyed by the size, freshness and juiciness of the buffalo mozzarella balls, the rich flavours of the excellent Parma ham and the crunchy to-and-fro of the bread and oil - check out the picture at the top of the page. Confidential will be back to review soon. This place is definitely not a YAFI - 'Yet Another F**king Italian'. Salvi's was high quality instead. Have a go with it.


Sleuth And The Bicycle Hoopla Picture Of The Week

Sleuth was walking down Deansgate the other day when he saw the street sign for Jackson's Row. He stared for a minute and thought how jolly: bicycle tyre hoopla.

Street HooplaStreet Hoopla

Sleuth's Staring Competition

Sleuth went to  Aubaine restaurant launch in Selfridges on Thursday night and good fun it was too. Gordo of Confidential stole Sleuth's camera though and, later, in Zinc bar, tried to engage Siobhan Hanley, from Manchester Food and Drink Festival, and Kim May, an arts professional, in conversation. Rather than talk to him they decided to have a stare-each-other-out contest. The prize for the winner was the fine hat being worn by Kim in this picture.  In the other contest Sophie Baxter beat Hayley Harthern in the stuff-your-head-into-a-furry-animal competition. 

Aubaine 011

Aubaine 018

Sleuth's Inane Twitter Comment Of The Week

It's a draw for most inane. First there was the gentleman who on Tuesday tweeted: 'Tuesdays can be good'. Sir, we all could have lived without that. And then there was the lady on Monday who thought she'd tweet, 'Looking out of the window and I can see it's raining'. Inane, madam, very very inane. You two know who you are, so please for God's sake put a sock in your tweeting blither. 

Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

The most sensible transport measure yet
The new pavement extensions on Deansgate will result in more efficient traffic flow around the city and huge financial dividends for city businesses.






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5 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Andy LoynesFebruary 3rd 2012.

I trust the Visitor's Centre directed our American friends to Slattery's?

andyj18February 3rd 2012.

"The staff at the Information Centre say they think it's a hoax..."

Sharp as a cue ball!

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousFebruary 7th 2012.

And you've made yourself sound 'thick as a brick' by making that comment.

tomegranateFebruary 3rd 2012.

Has anyone ever seen Roger Stephenson and Father Jack Hackett together at the same time?


SmittyFebruary 3rd 2012.

I've also had a sneaky peek at the new Chetham's and it is just amazing. Proper brilliant. The kind of place you expect to see in somewhere like Milan or Barcelona. Genuinely filled with pride that we've got something like this here in good old Manc.

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