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SLEUTH: Nutter's New Gastropub | Midland Hotel Boost | WHP For Albert Hall | Locks In Trouble | Graphene Burgers

Wk 50: grub, comfort, birds, love, faith, doormen and thinness

Written by . Published on December 5th 2014.

SLEUTH: Nutter's New Gastropub | Midland Hotel Boost | WHP For Albert Hall | Locks In Trouble | Graphene Burgers

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth


Sleuth caught up with camera-happy Rochdale-born chef Andrew Nutter recently. He's been a busy boy. Somewhere between terrorizing young bartenders, feeding almost all of Rochdale's retirees and having his photo taken, gape-mouthed, by the MEN for the 473rd time that year, Nutter's found time to do some property huntin'. Andrew and his charming Pop, Rodney, have got their hands on the old Bird I’Th Hand pub on Rochdale Road in Birtle and intend to turn it into a top notch gastropub serving high-end ‘hearty British pub fare’ with room for 80-100 people.

“I’m sick of young chefs coming to my kitchen and knowing how to tart around with liquid nitrogen but not have a fucking clue how to cook a decent stew or casserole,” Nutter told Sleuth. “That’s what I was taught at The Savoy in London. We were drilled in flavour. I’m taking it back to the roots.” “So how come you’ve opened minutes down the road from your other restaurant?” asked Sleuth. “When we’re rammed at the restaurant I don’t want to turn people away and send them somewhere else with crap food,” said Nutter, “plus it’s right near my house. Good for the environment ‘init…” Good lad.

New Nutter's should open around Easter 2015.

Nutter: loves the environment... hates pigsNutter: loves the environment... hates pigs


The grand old lady of Manchester hotels is on the vamp or rather the revamp. Sleuth hears it's going to get a facelift. Or more properly a massage. Several million pounds are getting spent on doing up the bedrooms and transforming the gym and the spa. Sleuth wonders whether the refurb includes the suite that, rumour has it, was adapted for Luciano Pavarotti's girth with reinforced beds and wider doorways. Pavarotti used to sing Nessun Dorma - none shall sleep - relentlessly in the corridors until all the work was done - allegedly.

The Midland Hotel

The Midland Hotel


Sleuth went for a pint this week with one of his pals who does his business around Deansgate Locks. Sleuth’s pal looked worried. Turns out there’s been all sorts of bother down on The Locks. Sleuth hears that an unlucky new young manager at Sakura had to shut down their popular Eivissa club night on Thursday because of all the unsavoury types it was attracting. Sleuth’s pal said it didn’t go down too well and ended up with half the staff, including all of the door staff, being given the boot. A serious incident followed which now means that, following a licence review, Sakura has to provide plastic glasses, install metal detectors on entry and any bottles purchased from behind the bar have to be chained to the tables to stop punters bonking each other over the head with them. Not only that, but a supposed feud down on The Locks meant that this week Sakura had 30 door staff working one night… on a Monday. “They had five door staff per customer on Monday,” Sleuth’s pal said. “Which either makes it the safest place in town to get a drink or the worst, I haven’t figured it out yet."

SakuraSakura in trouble


Sleuth hears that Manchester's notorious club night, the Warehouse Project, will be on the road again after their 2014 run at Piccadilly's Store Street comes to a close on New Year's Eve. WHP are teaming up with a number of other promoters, including Manchester's Drop The Mustard gang, to host a series of events for Manchester's beautiful Grade II-listed Albert Hall (1910) - the former Methodist meeting hall, then Brannigans bar on Peter Street. Transmission will launch on Friday 23 January and run for four months until 15 April. Sleuth wonders if any of the superstar DJs to play Albert Hall, which include Annie Mac and Steve Lawler, will make use of the venue's massive fitted organ. Probably not.

Albert HallAlbert Hall - organ in the distance


Sleuth is pleased about the millions dished out to the city as part of George Osborne's 'Northern Powerhouse' initiative. He loves the fact that the Sir Henry Royce Institute for Advanced Materials Research and Innovation will be based largely in the city. Rolls met Royce in the Midland Hotel incidentially in 1905. There's the world's weakest terracotta relief in the main porch to commemorate this. Meanwhile, at the Graphene Institute in the Uni, Sleuth hears boffins have been working with Manchester's burger fraternity to produce the world's thinnest burger, shown front and side below. "It's a messy fucked up pornstar slut of a burger," said a spokesman for the Manchester Burger Society shortly before being arrested for possession of strained similes. "Slendour and fit, hotter than Johansson's cleavage, this is a burger to put lead in your pencil without adding flab to the thighs."

The graphene burger from the frontThe graphene burger from the front

The graphene burger in profileThe graphene burger in profile


"Lord," said a local Labour Party figure to Sleuth over a bacon sandwich on Thursday. "We're supposed to lead in the North but while George Osborne keeps chucking gifts and ideas at us, Ed seems incapable of an ounce of resistance or at least coherent opinions on how to make the North a better place. The Tories have Northern Powerhouse on their minds while we're stuck in the bloody National Outhouse and seem to be going backwards." He paused and then said, "How do you eat these bloody things anyway?"

Ed Miliband ponders Northern policy whilst trying not to look 'weird'Ed Miliband ponders Northern policy whilst trying not to look 'weird'


After a few failed attempts the Trafford Centre Sea Life's Miranda the Octopus finds a fish in a box. People weep at its genius...

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15 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Poster BoyDecember 5th 2014.

Local Labour need not choke. Gideon's devo wheeze will make Weird Ed the wannabe Red, even more invisible and less useful or relevant to Manchester. If that's possible.

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousDecember 5th 2014.

Yay, we can hope.

Not that David!December 5th 2014.

Looks like the end is nigh for Sakura.

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousDecember 5th 2014.

They should've known better than to allow Eivissa to put on nights there, such a tacky brand, was always going to end this way.

AnonymousDecember 5th 2014.

Apparently all the trouble started for Sakura when one of their doormen got attacked inside the club by a customer on a Thursday (Eivissa) night. The incident was kept quiet without being reported to the police or the relevant authorities. The doorman in question, was then sacked by Sakura for being a victim and banned from all premises on the Locks by the security company which employed him!

DigsterDecember 6th 2014.

Glad to hear that the Midland will be updated. The entrance when you arrive is stunning, the staff are good but by God the bedrooms are horrid. They really need to do a lot of work with them if they want to get to 5 star. Having said that, I look forward to seeing the outcome.

AnonymousDecember 6th 2014.

A lot of work is needed at The Midland, and the afternoon tea is dreadful.

1 Response: Reply To This...
DigsterDecember 6th 2014.

The breakfast is dire as well - however, things can only get better and it will be good to see what they come up with.

AnonymousDecember 6th 2014.

Surely the Warehouse will eventually move into the new 'Theatre' Arts Centre. and wow GGO is promising to buy the trains for the HUB's link to Leeds otherwise we would have to get on our bikes. Lot's of cities have been promised "Material Research Centres.' Let's see who gets them.. more probably it will will like the techie benefits of global warming where the Germans and the French are powering ahead while we wave at windmills Incidentally has anyone found any graphene product actually available to buy at any price?

AnonymousDecember 6th 2014.

Oh and by the way is Gordo going to stand for Mayor?

James SmithDecember 6th 2014.

When Charles Rolls offered to meet Henry Royce he insisted that Royce meet him in London. Royce said no chance and insisted Rolls came to Manchester. Top bloke, few better people to name a place like that after.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousDecember 7th 2014.

Before shortly after "upping sticks" to Derby, right?

James SmithDecember 7th 2014.

As he wasn't from Manchester I can't say I've got much of a problem with that. Derby council offered incentives to build a new factory there, Manc didn't.

AnonymousJanuary 11th 2015.

It makes a change that we have something in our city which isn't named after Alan Turing. And before you all get on your Gay bandwagon I came out in 1984. Emmeline Pankhurst is very under represented in her home city,as are her daughters apart from those chavvy flats in Collyhurst. We should now name the Tramlines after our famous sons and daughters. Pankhurst,Turing,Royce,De Quincey,Burgess. What about the Cox/Fields line(Ooh Matron) through Oldham to Rochdale and the Peel to Bury. Maxwell Davies line to mediacity. Anyone got any thoughts on others. Oh and Peel is for Sir Robert not Holdings. Who is Didsbury's greatest son or daughter? Don't say Judith Chalmers and Ashton's. Royce line should go to the airport.

1 Response: Reply To This...
rinkydinkJanuary 11th 2015.

Judith Chalmers line should go to the airport surely. What about the Frank Sidebottom line to Altrincham?

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