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New Ribs Joint Opens, GMP Inspector Is Cinderella And Other Stories

Sleuth Wk 28: truth, love, wimps, ribs and hope

Written by . Published on July 4th 2014.


New Ribs Joint Opens, GMP Inspector Is Cinderella And Other Stories
 

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth

Sleuth And The Cinderella Inspector 

GMP’s Inspector Ian Hanson is Cinderella. He has to be home by midnight. He caused a big row this week by saying in the Daily Telegraph: “I still socialise in Manchester city centre but I would not be there past midnight now. I do not believe it is safe there. The situation is at crisis point - we cannot guarantee anyone’s safety after midnight.”

Sleuth knows this to be ridiculous, he’s always out past midnight and things are fine. There are idiots but it’s not as Cinders paints. Sleuth wonders if Inspector Ian Cinderella-Hanson has little glass slippers instead of a proper Bobby’s size 11s and whether he should be admitting to such a dereliction of GMP's duty to protect its citizens. 

Inspector Cinderella has a pre-midnight glass size 11 bootie fitted

 

Inspector Cinderella has a pre-midnight glass size 11 bootie fitted

Sleuth And The Ignored Email 

The editor sent Inspector Cinders the following email to his Police Federation address. There’s been no response. 

‘I read with alarm your comments in the Daily Telegraph.I would like to seek some clarification on these words. 

'1) Why were you motivated to comment in the way you did, was it because of a particular incident?

'2) Do you think Manchester city centre is worse than other city centres - Leeds, Liverpool - in terms of late night behaviour?

'3) Were the comments really about a disguised appeal for more resources and implied criticism of the Coalition government's spending cuts? 

'4) Do you think your comments damage the reputation of the city?'

Since the Inspector Hansonrella was speaking on behalf of the Police Federation (effectively the police union) Sleuth assumes the answer to question three is ‘yes’. He also assumes that the answer to question four is, 'Frankly I don’t care if I potentially damage investment in the city centre as long as I can score cheap points against central government'. 

Confidential Midnight Undertaking 

Sleuth and other Confidential staff are going to restrain from drink next Saturday at midnight and walk from The Printworks, through Piccadilly, The Village, Oxford Road and Spinningfields armed with cameras. Confidential would like Inspector Ian Hanson to come with them. Let’s see if we all make it. 

Bootle Street Model Shop 

Sleuth is a child at heart and a little part of his heart died when the model shop closed on Deansgate last year with all its trains and Spitfires and remote controlled cars and planes and friendly enthusiastic geeky staff. City centres need to cater for all ages and all interest groups so Sleuth is delighted that the model shop - cunningly now called Phoenix Models - is to re-open round the corner from the old site on Bootle Street opposite 42nd Street night club. 

Opening model shop - although the actual opening will be a couple of weeks delayed

 

Opening model shop - although the actual opening will be a couple of weeks delayed

Cane And Grain Opens 

The ‘rum, ribs, bourbon and beer’ venue has finally opened in the old Thomas Restaurant site on Thomas Street. It’ll be an off-shoot of Liar’s Club off Bridge Street, one of the Black Dog stable. Indeed the second floor will feature the Liar’s Lounge. The ground floor will focus on food and refers in its interior design to the former skate shop on the site. Here’s a picture of chef Barry Gamble’s ribs. Sleuth reckons it’s a good job there are no other rib restaurants in Manchester city centre and Cane and Grain has a unique and distinctive food offer that…er…what? Oh. 

Barry's ribs and so forth

 

Barry's ribs and so forth

Plasticland’s New Burger Operation 

Gourmet Burger Kitchen is to relaunch in the Trafford Centre just weeks after Five Guys burger bar opened in the shopping centre. Sleuth reckons it’s a good job there are no other burger restaurants in the Manchester area and Gourmet Burger Kitchen has a unique and distinctive food offer that…er…what? Oh. 

Back In The City Centre Patty Takes Over 

Sleuth hears that the London pioneer of the bearded-burger-aren’t-we-clever restaurants, Meat Liquor, is to announce an opening in a central Manchester location very soon. Sleuth reckons it’s a good job there are no other burger filled restaurants in Manchester city centre and that Meat Liquor has a unique and distinctive food offer…er…what? Oh. 

King Street Restaurant For The Old Monsoon 

Sleuth learns that within four weeks there will be an announcement about the first permanent food and drink operator to open in the lower end of King Street since the ill-fated Lotus Bar and Dim Sum some years ago. The venue will be in the lovely black and white former Monsoon building which dates from 1902. Sleuth hears the operator might be Gordo's fave London group, Hawksmoor. This team of restaurants provides British magnificence with piles of oysters, Brixham lobster, Porterhouse steaks and classic British pudds. Sleuth’s hopes the rumour is true. Sleuth loves oysters. Sleuth likes to bury himself in the indecently gorgeous, almost pornographically raw molluscs and moan gently. If not Hawksmoor then let’s have Lunya, says Sleuth, the wonderful Liverpool based Catalonian restaurant and deli.

Something exciting for King Street?

Something exciting for King Street?

Sleuth's Lies To Tell Tourists

This comes from the Police Federation and Inspector Cinderella-Hanson: "The city centre is a dangerous place and you should always try to go out for a drink in Mobberley or any other small Cheshire village - although given how cash-strapped the Coalition have left us well-paid police officers then we suggest you don't go out at all but stay home wrapped in cotton-wool and shaking with FEAR."

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39 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

RMCJuly 4th 2014.

GBK has been in the Trafford Centre for about two years. Really hope the Hawksmoor rumour is true!

2 Responses: Reply To This...
Poster BoyJuly 4th 2014.

GBK have been in the Trafford Centre since 2010 !

SleuthJuly 4th 2014.

Clever folks - Sleuth would have known that if I'd ever went in. It's being relaunched not opened. Silly Sleuth

Poster BoyJuly 4th 2014.

Your satire might be better served comparing the actual number of active police officers on the streets of each city between midnight and 7am against the number of recorded incidents. You might then consider the ratio of police officers to the estimated number of people in the City Centre on a Saturday night. You might even then ask the Police Commissioner, whether the situation provides an acceptable measure of 'safety'. Or you can ignore the point being made by the union representative and continue to take cheap shots...

7 Responses: Reply To This...
Jonathan Schofield - editorJuly 4th 2014.

That will be explored in the larger article to follow our midnight patrol. Sleuth's a bugger for cheap shots, we'll go a bit more in depth. My initial thoughts would be if the police think there is a problem they move their resource round to deal with it. They don't as Cinders suggests give up hope.

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

I was going to post something about this. The major difference between Manchester and the other cities (Leeds, Liverpool etc.) is the noticeable lack of police presence, go out in Liverpool on a Saturday night and the police are visible and are there to ensure that everybody has a good night. Can the cuts to Manchester's police really be that much worse than anywhere else?

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Err, new licensing laws & government cuts? Some people have very short memories here, because before all that - Manchester city centre (the Hacienda et al) was making the national headlines back in the late 1980s & 1990s as an unsafe place for a night out. Weren't the new licensing laws meant to alleviate the post 11pm "violent melee" that use to happen too, remember?

MaggieJuly 4th 2014.

Yes Jonathon, cheap shots by Sleuth. the reality is that the cuts to the police service have left it decimated - you only have to look at the bleating of the senior leaders, Fahy and his ilk who have stood back and let the service become reduced to the point where officers cannot cope with even the basic functions. Fahy bleats that the police cannot deal with mental health issues - Fahy and the other spineless police leaders have stood by and let the Govt walk all over the rank and file - as long as they still get their knighthoods and fat bonuses. you may scoff but the public will suffer - that is you, me, your mother . father sister and children because the police service is stretched beyond

MaggieJuly 4th 2014.

continued................. capacity. I have no doubt that officers will do their best and Hanson (disgrace that he is) is trying to stand up for beleaguered officers. If the public allow it to happen they too cannot complain

Mark FullerJuly 4th 2014.

Of course the police have shown absolutely no hint whatsoever of any anti-Tory bias in the recent past have they? Incredibly, whilst the plod have been cut to ribbons up and down the land,crime has markedly declined. Down 15% in 2013. The police should leave it to the opposition and the MEN to mislead us on such matters.

AnonymousJuly 5th 2014.

The MEN's involvement in all this has to be considered too. They seem to be taking great professional delight "these days", in feeding all this negativity about Manchester to the nationals. Under the new ownership, there's just no affinity there anymore - we've "lost" our local newspaper folks!

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Hawksmoor in Manchester would be amazeballs.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
JonathanJuly 4th 2014.

Please tell me you were being ironic with "amazeballs"

AnonymousJuly 6th 2014.

J - totes

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

To be fair to Cane and Grain there really aren't many places doing ribs properly in town, maybe only Reds and Southern Eleven.

4 Responses: Reply To This...
jrsteeveJuly 4th 2014.

Haven't been impressed with either, still get better ribs at Fridays! My idea of good ribs is meat that falls off the bone, not full of fat, with a bbq glaze that's not overpowering. Southern 11 were similar to the type Chinese restaurants serve, very fatty and not much meat. Reds was marginally better but not fantastic, shame.

rinkydinkJuly 4th 2014.

It's maybe a hint of jealousy that the 'exclusive' first look-around was given to the MEN yesterday

AnonymousJuly 8th 2014.

Reds is quite possibly the most over-hyped restaurant in Manchester! Unless I happened to go on a bad day (I've only been once), the ribs were overcooked and dry, with no flavour at all! Then again, I half agree with this article though. All these glorified fast food 'restaurants' with their inflation-busting prices and pretentiousness (long waits, order at the bar, stupidly-named drinks!) aren't exactly bringing anything new to Manchester. Certainly not a Michelin star anyway!

AnonymousJuly 9th 2014.

I agree with above. I love that type of food (AF & S11 are two of my favourite places in MCR), but both of my visits to Reds have been slightly disappoiting. The brisket/pork combo was decent, but the Pit Burger was poor (actual meat patties were cooked too much and were really dry). I think both S11 and Dog Bowl do similar stuff, but better.

David RobinsonJuly 4th 2014.

Don't tell me those guys putting yellow & black pouches on parked cars aren't policemen|

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

correct, they are local authority employees

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Really pleased to read that the Monsoon building is (hopefully) going to be put to good use. And as an aside I agree with the sentiment that Manchester needs an offering like Lunya.

Kevin PeelJuly 4th 2014.

Are we getting an invite to your midnight patrol? I've been hoping for an invite out dancing with Jonathan but I suspect that one isn't coming!

1 Response: Reply To This...
Jonathan Schofield - editorJuly 4th 2014.

Kevin, you, Joan and Beth are more than welcome. We can do a little jig and reel at the Big Wheel

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Am always up to meet new friends and places Can I come on your night out Pat Karney

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Oh I'd love to meet Pat Karney properly. I ran into him once in Victoria Station but he didn't really acknowledge me.

SmittyJuly 7th 2014.

That's because you were anonymous!

AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

Well, I shan't be revisiting Manchester city centre now, until the Daily Mail advises us all that it's safe to do so. All very scary.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AnonymousJuly 4th 2014.

dont forget your coat as you leave.............

SAZKJuly 7th 2014.

What coat? Someone's already had off with it. Ha

AnonymousJuly 5th 2014.

I went to a place in Farnham, Surrey which claims to be 'the home of the gourmet burger'. So they are to blame.

AnonymousJuly 5th 2014.

Crime is down because everyone is at home messing on their iPads, cooking stuff they've seen on Masterchef et al and drinking incredibly cheap supermarket booze. If you're at home, your house isn't being robbed and you're not getting into any mischief. Crime drops and we all feel "safe" because, paradoxically, we're too scared to go out. Then we can all congratulate the politicians for the sterling work they've done to cut crime whilst simultaneously slashing police budgets.

James SmithJuly 6th 2014.

Shame the plod were happy as Larry to get double pay to baton those in danger of losing their jobs in the 80's. What goes around and all that eh?

SmittyJuly 7th 2014.

My liver has been warning me about the dangers of Manchester for years. However, shrivelled-little-husk-the-size-of-a-walnut that he is, he says this about anywhere I ever visit... Can I come out dancing with you Sleuth? You can show me your moves and I can see how easily turned you are. I'm guessing three pints and a couple of cocktails in Oscar's. The next morning you will then see how dangerous Manchester can be.

SAZKJuly 7th 2014.

Ribs served up in the now requisite blue rimmed enamel plates. Which were an original idea, what, about five years ago now? Surely due to appear at a Wetherspoons near you soon, or any other similar establishment where hipster trends go to die

2 Responses: Reply To This...
AVOJuly 7th 2014.

Along with cocktails served in jam jars and milkshakes served in milk bottles.

AnonymousJuly 7th 2014.

and chips served in those stupid effin' mini galvanised buckets.

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