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MCR's Best Cakes, LVG Has Wings, Peake's Hamlet, Jesus Is Priceless

Sleuth week 40: Eat, pray, love, cake

Written by . Published on September 26th 2014.

MCR's Best Cakes, LVG Has Wings, Peake's Hamlet, Jesus Is Priceless

Sleuth                               SleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth 

The Best Mille Feuille In The North West... Maybe The Best Cakes Too.

Sleuth was in Didsbury and went to Bisous Bisous, the new patisserie on Wilmslow Road. It's the dreamchild of Alex Moreau of 63 Degrees on Church Street in the Northern Quarter. He was with a lady and she swooned for the cakes. When Sleuth had tried and failed fifteen or sixteen times to pronounce mille feuille he finally clamped his jaws on the Frenchie vanilla slice and joined her in swoonland. The patisserie makes eveything on site including bread, brioche, macaroons and swoons. Sleuth took some cakes home and with his mouth brimming over found a video clip dedicated to the correct pronunciation of the hardest French word ever.

Bisous BisousBisous Bisous

Jon Wilkin: Gentleman Of Coffee

Sleuth was in the Barton Arcade and there was Jon Wilkin, St Helen's rugby league star, and the owner of the Pot Kettle Black in Manchester which opens next week. Gracious man our strapping rugby playing barista boy. He was doing a charity demonstration as the unit was being decked out. Pot Kettle Black should knock the socks off the chains. The java is from Workshop Coffee in London and tastes like a dream, a proper smooth arabica hit with almost a sweetness and no burnt bitterness of your standard Starbucks, Costa or Caffe Nero. Cunning wired up central feature as well for technology chasers. Sleuth will never be out of the place.

Jon WilkinJon Wilkin

Pot Kettle BlackPot Kettle Black

"Would You Like Opium With That, Sir?"

Sleuth came across a story this week that gave him an idea. A Chinese restaurant owner in China's northern Shaanxi province had been lacing his food with opium so that customers would become addicted to the stuff and return. Sleuth thinks Mr Zhang is on to something. Research indicates that by 2050, half of the UK population will be obese. The strain on the NHS will be monumental, with some estimates suggested fatties may actually bankrupt the NHS. No bother, Sleuth's solved the problem with the help of Mr Zhang. Lace salads with opium, douse fatty processed junk in rat's piss. Sorted. Next...

(Click here to add text)(Click here to add text)

Peake Of Her Powers

Sleuth is a little in love with Maxine Peake - who isn't? She's like the female Anthony H Wilson for Manchester (or Salford, where she lives). A northern champion, sharp and brainy with a voice brimfilled with Lancashire warmth. Her Hamlet at the Royal Exchange is sold out but people still have hope. Every morning at 10am a queue forms at the box office for returns. Some are lucky, some are not, but as the Bard said: “Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.” 

Maxine Peake as HamletMaxine Peake as Hamlet

Shakespeare And Manchester

It's a little known fact that Shakespeare worked for several months in Manchester and it was his time here that inspired him to write the Danish play. He worked at the Cheese Hamlet in Didsbury, hence the title of the play, and some early scripts reflect this. Although the words were subsequently altered Sleuth loved the original version, for example: 'To be, or not to be: that is the cheese/ Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer/The slings and arrows of outrageous Stilton/ Or 'to take arms against a sea of Gorgonzola.'

Cheese Hamlet - Shakespeare Worked HereCheese Hamlet - Shakespeare Worked Here

LVG Finds Wings

Sleuth was wandering through Lincoln Square early in the week. Suddenly he was faced with Dutch folk. Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal was strolling with his wife into Wings, the highly thought of Chinese restaurant. Sleuth appreciates footballing folk who get to know the city they live in. And how appropriate that Louis Van Gaal appreciates Wings, it's the strongest area of the United team. Though, Sleuth hears LVG is very particular about where he sits in the restaurant, he'll often overlook things at the back.

BBC Ghost Of Independence

Following the Scottish Independence NO result last week, Sleuth's colleague was watching a BBC News broadcast live from outside St Gile's Cathedral in Edinburgh. Imagine the colleague's surprise when the white Ghost of Independence casually strolled through the background of the shot, suitcase and map in hand. Off on holiday to Catalan, perhaps?

Sleuth Needs Help

Sleuth was in Chinatown for the MCR's Best of Chinatown feature. He was in his favourite supermarket Hang Won Hong on George Street. He asked a customer what on earth you used the product pictured below for. The customer didn't speak English so Sleuth needs help. What is this for? And are the pigeons the same as the ones that mess up the Town Hall?

(Click here to add text)Mmmm

Priceless Jesus

Sleuth went for a nose around Manchester's annual affordable(ish) art event, the Buy Art Fair, at Old Granada Studios this week. Enjoying it he was too, washed along the aisles of exhibitors on a wave of free plonk, nodding and hmm'ing accordingly. Sleuth spotted a couple of pieces that took his eye: Superman snogging Batman and a nun's face made entirely of arses. Sleuth unknowingly found himself in the contemporary part of the event, where the folk nod and hmm harder than the others, and came across Jesus splayed across a pool table (below). "How much?" asked Sleuth. "It's priceless," replied someone (possibly the artist, possibly not). Pause. "Really?" said Sleuth. "Because you can pick one up from Argos for under £200, there's no Jesus included but it comes with balls and a free Ronnie O'Sullivan branded cue." Pause. "Hmm," nodded the artist/possibly not artist.

'But I can get a new one without Jesus for £200...''You can pick up a new one without Jesus for £200...'

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8 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Poster BoySeptember 26th 2014.

Dirty Food is dead. Let's all jump on the Third Wave bandwagon...

AnonymousSeptember 26th 2014.

"To Brie or not to brie, that is the question."

Toffee PopSeptember 26th 2014.

the new patisserie in didsbury is probably the worst patisserie i have ever been in! £4.80 for four croissants that looked like they had shrunk in the wash (and no it wasn't a case of quality over quantity. seriously- get yourselves over to france, see what any good french patisserie offers on a daily basis for less than a quid and PLEASE start offering the same. Oh, and there seem to be more blue take away boxes on the shelves than croissants. 10:30 on a saturday morning and i was told they only had a dozen croissants out that morning?! pah.

avoSeptember 26th 2014.

Would Gordo not let you spend 65p of the ManCon budget to buy a tin to see what was inside? Pigeon is the brand. Fermented mustard greens can be sliced and used in soups to add a salty/sour note or added to a stir fry. It tastes like a strong pickled cabbage with a crunchy bite.

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousSeptember 29th 2014.

Would Gordo not let you spend 65p of the ManCon budget to buy a tin to see what was inside? Gordo made 65p last all week in the big house.

AnonymousSeptember 27th 2014.

I camembert it!

Brian SmithSeptember 30th 2014.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese Who am I to diss a brie?

David in CheshireOctober 14th 2014.

I know I'm a bit behind with my reading, but who, pray, is "St Gile"?

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