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Mr Jorgensen's Remarkable Requests

Captain Absurd Asks For A Favour From The Radisson Edwardian

Published on December 22nd 2011.


Mr Jorgensen's Remarkable Requests

IT HAS COME to the attention of Sleuth, our resident jester, that a established local gentleman is doing remarkable work in pursuit of the absurd in Manchester. Sleuth as evidence would like to offer you this recent exchange with one of Manchester and Salford's two five-star hotels. There may well be more.

From: mark.jorgensen
To: resmanc@radisson.com
Subject: Booking request
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:34:36 +0000

Dear Radisson Edwardian Manchester,

I wanted to make an enquiry about a room booking. 

I have a visitor coming to Manchester 27-29 January and after having an excellent stay at the Radisson before, you were the first hotel that came to mind. 

There is a slight addendum to my request though.

The visitor in question is a beautiful young lady I met recently at a concert and I am very eager to impress her. The problem is, when I first met her, a combination of alcohol, nerves, and my eagerness to impress resulted in me telling a couple of not entirely whole truths. Most notably that I was a member of the Danish Royal Family, which isn't strictly true, I just have a Danish name. 

Therefore, I wondered whether during my stay, you could fulfill a couple of requests or so. They are - 

- To ask all staff to refer to me as Your Royal Highness throughout my stay
- To insist, in front of my guest, all charges are being taken care of by the Danish embassy. I will settle all costs in private when necessary.
- Congratulate me for my recent philanthropic work in Eritrea. 
- To have various staff members sporadically reminisce with me about - or at least mention - the last time I was at the hotel with a number of Royal dignitaries including Prince Andrew. (You know, "Oh, Your Royal Highness, what a pleasure. I haven't seen you since you had dinner with Prince Andrew" that kind of thing.)
 - I would appreciate any other recommendations for pleasantries you would undertake for esteemed guests or foreign dissidents and alike. 

I understand that this is an unorthodox request and I acknowledge that embellishing  my importance is deceptive and completely reprehensible. I will come clean with her but I want to ease in the truth gently. 

I am more than happy to pay a deposit up front and if my requests are fulfilled then there will be a substantial tip for all concerned. 

I look forward to hearing from you. 

HRH Mark Jorgensen of Denmark (I'm trying to get into character) 

On 21 Dec 2011, at 08:49, "PECK, HAYLEY" wrote:

Good morning Mark 

Many thanks for your email. 

We can certainly check availability for you but I'm afraid we cannot ask our staff to fulfill your requests as per the below. 

Please advise if you would like us to check rates for you? 

Kind regards

Hayley Peck, Commercial Manager

From: Mark Jorgensen 

Sent: 21 December 2011 09:01
To: PECK, HAYLEY
Subject: Re: Booking request

Good morning Hayley,  

Thanks for the email. 

Yes if you could please advise about rates and availability.

Are ALL of the requests a no go? This is quite an important aspect of my stay. 

Perhaps just a small welcome party with banners and that sort of thing? I can provide some false photoshopped news clippings of myself on official business to use on banners. Or maybe I could 'open' a new wing of the hotel? It doesn't have to be new really, I can just bring some ribbon.   

Kind regards

Mark  

On 21 Dec 2011, at 09:24, "PECK, HAYLEY" wrote:

Hi Mark 

I'm afraid we cannot and would not ask our staff to fulfill these requests. 

If you would like a rate please advise.

Regards

Hayley Peck, Commercial Manager


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16 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Reader XxxDecember 24th 2011.

I had heard Manc Confidential was in trouble but blimey Gordo and J. S. Did you honestly think as the leading Hotel in the Citywe would lower our standards to that of yours!!!

I think that is why our reputation is held in such high regard....i wish it could be the same as yours.

Merry Xmas

SM

1 Response: Reply To This...
In The Know...January 4th 2012.

Not as much trouble as your lot last year, eh, Mr Miles? Cripes, lighten up!

AnonymousDecember 25th 2011.

Hilarious!!!

You guys should start doing prank phone calls too...

EditorialDecember 26th 2011.

Lighten up dear Radisson Ed. SM? Is that you Stephen. This was done as a bit of laugh by an eccentric Mancunian who sent it on to us, we might make his mad missives a regular feature. I know a sense of humour varies from person to person but really this was pretty funny to most people. Or should the Manchester media always be so very serious, especially when dealing with the 'leading hotel in the city'?

AnonymousDecember 26th 2011.

It was a crap wind up and must have tied up the resources of each hotel which had to deal with drafting a response to each daft email.

Reader XxxDecember 28th 2011.

When you say most people i assume you mean you and JS.

Little thing please .......

Jonathan Schofield - editorDecember 28th 2011.

Ha. First off. All decisions on editorial content are made by me and not Gordo. Secondly, the piece has had hundreds and hundreds of reads and mostly it's been well-received as a light-hearted Yule laugh. Thirdly, this shows your hotel in a good light as very professional in its dealings with all manner of requests. Fourthly, we may get things terribly wrong at Confidential but I really do not want us to be a supine medium that acts merely as an advertising puff: maybe you miss THE magazine and the like. Finally, that people poke fun and criticise is not a bad thing. For a city or business to be able to laugh at itself is a sign of maturity and strength not weakness.

Reader XxxJanuary 3rd 2012.

deluded!!

EditorialJanuary 3rd 2012.

A good comprehensive response from the hotel.

Richard HJJanuary 3rd 2012.

this is going well ;-)

PaulbJanuary 3rd 2012.

well funny this. Get a life RE Manchester, its a joke.

Hero
Mark GarnerJanuary 4th 2012.

Eh, Stephen, we've been in trouble for seven years now, it's what we do ;-)

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousJanuary 5th 2012.

It's what you don't do that gets you in trouble :)

tJanuary 4th 2012.

Yours is a special kind of genius Mark. Puts me in mind of 27bslash6, brilliant.

AnonymousJanuary 5th 2012.

Well done Radisson for living up to your reputation and maintaining professionalism. ManCon! Take note!!

AnonymousJanuary 5th 2012.

I think the Danish one meant dignitaries not dissidents.

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