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Gordo’s Bits and Bobs

Joe Akka’s out, Kit leaves and Gordo loiters with intent

Written by . Published on August 10th 2007.


Gordo’s Bits and Bobs

Lounge 10 and Kit
Met Kit, the gaffer of Lounge 10 (one of Gordo’s favourite restaurants), amongst the hurly burly that is Tesco on Oxford Street last week. It’s where Shaun of the Dead was filmed to save on extras. Kit tells Gordo that he is now the ex gaffer of Lounge 10. Apparently the pressure of the business got to him and he decided that it was a time for a rest. Mind you, an office job will soon bore the pants off Manchester’s peacock-restaurateur, Gordo is pretty sure he will surface somewhere else in time.

Phil Yates, Kit’s ex boss and owner of Lounge 10 had a chat the previous week with Gordo early one Saturday morning. He looked well; apparently he had been off the booze for three months. Still smoking the fags eh though Phil? Naughty. The restaurant is a Gordo Go, click here for the last review

Boss Models Party
150 models, Gordo decides to do the smudging himself. Twenty of them were lads whilst one was Miles, who isn’t quite sure what he is. The ‘do’ was held in the refurbished Gorton Monastery, a truly awesome place to have a party. We were treated to unending champagne from the team who were charming hostesses throughout the evening, particularly Julie Lowery. Dave Haslam did the music whilst Manchester’s minimalist answer to Friar Tuck, Wayne Mellor, rumoured shortly to become ‘Two Towers’, gave a speech about something that was drowned out by chatter. The party went on to Panacea and later The Circle. A late one. See all the photos, click here.

Wedding Bond: Vanessa and Clive Mate.
Manchester’s PR girlie, Vanessa Crush, married the charming Clive Bond a few Saturdays ago. Clive owns a wood out in deepest darkest Cheshire, behind the church he used to attend during his childhood. So, a marquee was duly erected whilst the Orient Express catering people came to Gordo’s aid with lobster, roast beef fillet and some absolutely fab puddings. The sun shone. Really, it bloody well did. Lyndsey, whose name Gordo can't spell, had travelled out with Gordo and Helen Freeborough.

On the way back she had just enough to drink so that she felt no shame in propositioning Gordo’s driver. He got away by the skin of his teeth. All in all everyone was on cracking form. Gordo got a chance to have a good chat with Georgina Livesey, gaffer of GL14, Manchester’s coolest gym, now a happily married girl. Oh well. Clive, the hog roast was overdoing it for Gordo. Looking back at the poor bugger it would have been like eating his twin.

Thyme Opens in West Didsbury
After the hoo haa from the locals in West Didsbury about a slick chain opening on their territory, Piccolinos, Gordo finds a warm fuzzy lovely deli on Nell lane. Don’t get Gordo wrong, it was his fashion editor Vanessa Lees who found it in the first instance, she of the flat pumps, Burman cat (called Princess) and chieftain tank, who actually lives around there. She goes to house parties in the country at the weekend whilst Gordo finds himself dodging right hooks, Scouse the beggar and gangstas down Panacea of a Saturday night. Click here for more on Thyme.

Panacea
Speaking of Panacea, gaffer Jo Akka is out by all accounts, having served his time and is now wearing a Wythenshawe bracelet. He has to be home before sundown. Sort the club out Joe, there is too much testosterone knocking about of a Friday and Saturday. It seems to Gordo that you may well be filling the gap left by Christian Coates’ Cocoa Rooms. On the other hand the reports on food during the day are first class; time to make your mind up my old son. You have a great chef there. Arnie may well take your first class punters away leaving you with an awful lot of wannabees whilst the real people filter off elsewhere.

Circle Club
Talking of elsewhere. Well well, Gordo’s favourite, Deepa, seems to be turning the Circle round nicely. It’s in danger of becoming the coolest gaff in Manchester and a gangsta free Gordo Go. Last Thursday found Gordo attending a ‘race night’ that limp-a-long Nigel Cann, the only man Gordo knows who jumped out of a plane and tried to run back in, organised. Six months ago Gordo would have rather tied his balls to a bus leaving Piccadilly than attend one of these. Gordo’s mate Scott Harper, now regional gaffer of the Malmaison hotels and Graham, the convict on tour and current Manchester Malmaison gaffer dragged Gordo along and boy, was he in for a good night.

It finished up being one of the best gatherings of the year, livened up nicely when Gordo’s favourite fashion designer Vicky Martin arrived with a bunch of her very good looking team. They had been making a commercial, or something very trendy like that. Vicky is special. If you want to see her stuff, click here. Sorry, an unashamed plug from Gordo, but Vicky deserves it having put up with a tired and emotional Gordo on many a fine occasion. The Mallonator was in attendance on a flying visit to Manchester, he still hasn’t changed his pants. On his facebook entry Worzel describes his relationship status as “It’s complicated”. It certainly is mate. Glen and his pal, one of Manchester’s special girls, Sarah were hosting the table Gordo found himself on. By god, can she wear a tight sweater.

Kara Heward, a guest of Glen, was up from ‘The Smoke’ along with her delightfully pregnant pal, Lisa Harper. Kara sent Gordo a picture of him ‘n’ her from the night. “Gosh, I look a bit spivvy on that don’t I?” remarked Gordo on Facebook. “No you don’t,” replied Kara, “You just look pissed”. Hmm.

Gordo was very impressed by the canapés. “Don’t get excited Gordo,” says a member of staff quietly, “they’re bought in…” Blimey.

Facebook.
Speaking of Facebook, Gordo’s Publisher, Mark R Garner, set himself up on there to see what the fuss was all about. Gordo thinks he’s a bit too old for all that, but he did grass a few others up who are in a perpetual state of mid life crisis, including Arnie Hira, who, apparently, has more pictures of himself than a man should. Do you remember the cheesiest photograph of the year of him on T’ Mag? It gets worse. Don’t go. Vikas Shah, speciality dressing up in ambiguous clothes, with a close second being worshiping motor cars is in evidence. Good old Kevin Spencer as well; his missus is about to produce another little Kevin, bless. Gordo wishes them both the best.

That’s it for this week; you, dear readers, will be delighted to know that Gordo will be back next week with another Bit’s n Bobs and a restaurant review, in place of Sleuth, who is ‘on holiday’. Wink wink.

If you want to, tell Gordo your secrets in the rants below.

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9 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousAugust 10th 2007.

and again we suck up to Joe Acker !

Little Miss ManchesterAugust 10th 2007.

yes Mr Hira... feels like we've been waiting an eternity. It had better live up to the hype you've created.

AnonymousAugust 10th 2007.

luso i hear this place is doing well good luck to them.

fredAugust 10th 2007.

On the subject of Arnie, where is Ithaca? Is he being true to the legend and taking 9 years to get there?

IsaborAugust 10th 2007.

Hi!I am Brazilian and I am living in Manchester since 2003,so,when I heard about the Brazilian Night at Panacea(26/08/07) I thought that it was a party that I couldn’t miss and I was right! The food was excellent, even if it didn’t look the same as in Brazil, the taste was perfect! The atmosphere was great, with dancers,capoeira and a band playing samba(the DJ has a good taste too!).Congratulations to staff and Joe Akka! Gordo, I heard rumours about a Brazilian Restaurant in town, do you know anything about that?

AnonymousAugust 10th 2007.

I agree with Den, I've no time for Joe Akka, but even I can see that's not a suck up. Good to see this column back albeit temporarily, I definitely agree about the Circle's recent improvements

DenAugust 10th 2007.

Anonymous, did you read this properly? I don't think Gordo is sucking up to Joe Akka. He is telling him to wise up to the current situation of his club...

GordoAugust 10th 2007.

Come on Arnie, fess up, whats going on? Or do you want Gordo to get it off the builders? They love those fifty pound notes... In the meantime, does any have suggestions of where I should review next week?

Little Miss ManchesterAugust 10th 2007.

ooh yes - new suntrap at the City Inn Terrace! yummy...

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