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Pole Goes Both Ways, Mr Burgess' Strange Head And Queue Of The Year

Sleuth 21/09/2012

Published on September 21st 2012.

Pole Goes Both Ways, Mr Burgess' Strange Head And Queue Of The Year

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth

Sleuth's Haircut Of The Week - Tim Burgess

Sleuth's female friends were down at the All Saints shop in Spinningfields on Thursday. They were schmoozing with lots of movers and shakers, the DJ was none other than the well-known musicican and meditator Tim Burgess, who'd apparently been given a 'jumper' from the store to perform. Burgess (main picture above) was the pretty boy lead singer of the Madchester band The Charlatans twenty years ago. He's 45 years old now. Sleuth thinks he should seek a second opinion about that haircut and colour. 

Queue Of The Week

Sleuth loves a deeply committed rainy queue. This one is for the opening of the Aldi in Urmston on Thursday. Apparently 250 people turned up. Wow that's really something. For an Aldi. In the rain. 

Urmston retail is looking upUrmston retail is looking up

Sleuth's Most Tasteful Cocktail Of The Week

This from the list at Lock 91 (yes the new bar at the end of the parade of joy that is Deansgate Locks). The name is 'Dirty Silky Panties' with Bombay Sapphire, raspberry liqueur and pineapple juice shaken over ice. Sleuth isn't sure but he reckons this cocktail may have been inspired by an early work from artist Tracey Emin.

Sleuth's Confusing Sign Of The Week

This is to be found on the banks of the River Irwell close to the Lowry Hotel. Sleuth admires a large pole that can take you both ways but bring you to the same destination.

Confusing directionsConfusing directions

Sleuth's Prize For The Shortest Running Catering Business of 2012

This is a toss up between would-be Italian Restaurant Pizza Porto in Albert Square which lasted six weeks and the Mish Indian buffet restaurant on South King Street which lasted the same length of time. It's down to hours really who wins. Bad news for the jobs of the people who worked there on both counts but Sleuth reckons it also proves why restaurants need to research the market very accurately before opening.

Boarded buffetBoarded buffet

Critic Volleying Celebrity Chef's Head Across The Room 

The man in the chair is food and drink critic Neil Sowerby and the head in the foreground is that of well-known chef Simon Rimmer. They are both in the wonderful Sky Lounge in the Doubletree Hilton close to Piccadilly Station. Sleuth thinks Lionel Messi would approve of Sowerby's sitting down volleying technique while sporting an inscrutable smile.

Sowerby and head chefSowerby and the head chef

Sleuth And The Triumph Of Commonsense

Sleuth was at a loss. He’d been asked a question and he didn’t know the answer so he emailed the council press officers. ‘Which department do I ask if I want to put an A-board up on the street? Not strictly a press office responsibility, I know, but any help would be gratefully received.’ First reply came back, ‘Do you know, I haven't got the foggiest...’ Second reply was, ‘You don't need permission to put up A boards, but you need to make sure they don't cause any obstruction.’ A little later the first press officer emailed, ‘I'm actually staggered at this commonsense answer'. So was Sleuth, no red tape, no bureacracy, no panels, just do it but think for yourself and be considerate of others. Sleuth had to have a lie down after that.

Sleuth And The Rude Headline

Confidential couldn't help itself last week and wrote a rude headline. A new bridge, built out of upscaled Meccano was proposed for that area of Bolton called Nob End. So we wrote as the headline Big Erection For Nob End. Childish but...irresistible. Here's the story. Happily the scheme has been approved. The designer wrote to Confidential to say, 'The engineers were so pleased with it they printed the headline out large and put it on the office wall'. 

Sleuth's Peter Street Boost

Peter Street is on the up Sleuth hopes. In the first week of October chain outlet Revolucion de Cuba opens on the site of the world's worst concept bar, Squares. The two storey venue will have more than 50 rums from the Caribbean and Latin America. It will be the flagship of the group with a ‘Rare Rum Store’ offering rums costing between £25 and £200 a measure. Let's hope it manages to avoid the unnerving scenes often sampled outside Squares back in the heady days of the late nineties, early noughties. 

Glimpse through the Revolucion windowGlimpse through the Revolucion window

Hen and Stag Parties Banned

Sleuth applauds the policy of Gorilla, the Trof-owned bar and performance space on Whitworth Street West to ban all single sex hen and stag parties from its comedy nights. The Group Therapy Night show which starts on 29 September claims to be 'the only weekend comedy club, by comedy fans, for comedy fans'. As a spokesperson says, "Other weekend clubs rely on stags and hens to fill their seats and spend at the bar. But they can spoil the night for everyone else, including the comedians.” Sleuth wasn't aware that comedians were so sensitive but the policy should make the occasion more focussed on the jokes then on ladies in pink with rude attachments stuck to their shoulders. But would the bar let one of those costumed stag parties come in if they were all dressed as gorillas?

Labour ExchangeLabour ExchangeSleuth's Building Project Of The Week

Good news for lovers of the variety of Manchester's architecture. The old Labour Exchange once ear marked for demolition could be saved.

Sleuth hears a rumour that it might be now converted into a hotel and health club. Look at that space on those flat roofs for recreational areas eh?

For more on the Labour Exchange click here.

Plenty of room for roof actionPlenty of room for roof action

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16 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

RevaulxSeptember 21st 2012.

Good news (maybe) about the Labour Exchange. The brick cylinder on the lower picture is really classy.

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousOctober 27th 2012.

Yes I'm always struck by what an interesting building it is and in such a prime location. If only something could also be done about the old fire station on Fairfield Street!

Jo NightingaleSeptember 21st 2012.

Tim is still the singer in The Charlatans (they've released 10 albums since 20 years ago). He does need to give the Sun-In a rest, though.

AnonymousSeptember 21st 2012.

Sleuth, have you read Tim Burgess's book, it's a decent read. Or heard his new solo album, which is probably more inventive than any music currently made by any of his "baggy" contemporaries (not hard, to be honest).

Andrea TimoneySeptember 21st 2012.

I love, love, love the Labour Exchange...the views from the Rochdale Canal are fantastic. So glad it might be saved from demolition because it's a bloody gem!

terrycSeptember 21st 2012.

surely it says more about urmston

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousSeptember 21st 2012.

It looks a peaceful queue, in contrast to the one in cosmopolitan and cool Manchester, which saw fighting break out as sophisticated and trendy people jostled to be ahead of others in their quest to buy something as mundane as a mobile phone.

AnonymousSeptember 21st 2012.

£25 to £200 quid a shot at a place with a daft name and pics of Che Guevara on the wall.

There must be some rich students about.

moragSeptember 22nd 2012.

I too would love to see the labour exchange saved, its a really stunning building with its brutal curves and stunning views from the canal. Turning it into something useful would also be an important blow against the increasing homogenisation of manchester; lets restore and reuse the fabric of well designed buildings like this when we can please.

1 Response: Reply To This...
AnonymousSeptember 22nd 2012.

Shame the hotel chain slated to open on the site of the Twisted Wheel did not have a similar attitude to reusing that great little group of buildings. Am still angry about that.

moragSeptember 23rd 2012.

agreed anonymous, me too. and still trying to figure out how the people that live in and love manchester can actually have any effect on its development

David in CheshireSeptember 25th 2012.

Is there a correlation between the length of a restaurant's name and its longevity? Something called "mish", without even a capital M to spread it out a little, looks as though it's not long for this world.

Is there a PhD in this?

AnonymousSeptember 27th 2012.

"Confusing sign of the week"

The photo makes it pretty clear. One way is by stairs the other way is the wheelchair/accessible route.

It is pretty disheartening to be in a wheelchair & get signposted one way to find 50 metres beyond, that your route is completely blocked by three flights of stairs. with no way back and have to go all the way back.

Thomas HammondOctober 6th 2012.

Im glad someone pointed out sleuths stupidity in not noticing the sign was showing both the accessible rout and non accessible. This is something that manchester should be given credit for.

On a different note.

This building has such a great history and such beautiful architecture. I love the low key detail that makes this building so special. The recessed windows, the scroll column and tall glass brick windows on the south staircase tower. I have been saddened for years by the plans to knock it down.

AnonymousOctober 9th 2012.

Tim Burgess is starting to look like a 1970s dinner lady.

AnonymousOctober 18th 2012.

The signs are in Salford. So well done Salford.

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