Allotment Bar & Restaurant Opens, Turtle Bay For NQ, Best Squid, Floating Beetham

SleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth

The Allotment On Dale Street Opens

Another bar with food has opened in the Northern Quarter. Allotment occupies the Nicholas Nickleby pub site that spent a deal of time as a clothes wholesaler. The menu's got burgers and afternoon teas naturally but also interesting stuff including pheasant breast braised in cider for £13.95 and grilled brie and pear toastie for £5.95.

Sleuth remembers Nicholas Nickleby having - by repute - a brothel upstairs, now it's got broth on the menu or at least soup. There's three cask beers, a smart cocktail list and lots of hanging vegetation. Do you know what Sleuth has just defined with those last two sentences? He's defined 'gentrification'. 

Allotment Bar

Sleuth And The San Carlo Group Thing

Sleuth often gets into conversation with foodie people, often streetfood types, who think that smooth, well-run operations are somehow evil because they smell of success and profit. San Carlo Group gets this a lot from the homespun streetfooders, but Sleuth can't help slipping back into Cicchetti in House of Fraser every few months or so for the beautiful bites they offer. On Thursday he munched on a quite extravagantly wonderful fresh grilled squid with mint, courgettes, tomatoes and leaves. He had two portions. Sleuth is a squidofiliac - which is apparently legal.

Heavenly squid

A Burger Too Far From Solita

Franco Sotgiu, the shy and demure owner of Solita Bar and Restaurant in the Northern Quarter seems to be taking the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow to heart. Like the Scots he's deep frying unlikely foods. This is not good for Scottish health indices (the worst in Europe) but makes the humble Mars Bar more interesting. Sotgiu has now gone slightly mad and deep fried lasagne and put it on a bun. Sleuth will try one...not because he's attracted to it but because, as with Everest, it's there. 

Yes, it really is lasagne deep fried, it's what the world is waiting for

Turtle Bay Is Held Up By Noise

“Ryan’s Vintage in Northern Quarter is turning into a Turtle Bay,” said Confidential's Christian Valentine, the most romantically named salesman in Manchester. "Weird," said Sleuth, "they've just opened on Oxford Street. But worse, a restaurant chain in the Northern Quarter. There'll be Doc Martins at dawn." Sleuth collared the Ryan's Vintage boss. “Yeah they’ve been coming here to look at the site since April,” he said. “But it looks like it’s fallen through. This place is £100k a year rent alone, then they’d have to soundproof floors and ceilings. That's too much I reckon.” “Thank the lord,” replied Sleuth. “Where else could I get my hands on soiled Levis thirteen sizes too big and a framed portrait of Cantona drawn by somebody with an anvil for a hand?”  

Frank is happy for Ryan's Vintage to stay

Glossop Beats Pamplona's Bull Run

Confidential's copywriter lives up in the hills and was in Glossop earlier this week. She joined the Glossop cow run. This is becoming a regular occurrence. The award-winning butchers Mettricks in the town has its own abbatoir. A delivery of cattle was about to meet its maker when the beasts made a dash for freedom - as stated not for the first time. Down the street they ran, people jumping for cover, car owners stranded amidst onrushing leather. It was like Pamplona amongst the terraces. Very exciting. In the end though it all ended like the movie The Great Escape, the prisoners rounded up and executed although in the Glossop Cattle Run there were no survivors. Sleuth hears Morrissey is to do a benefit gig for their families next year.  

Excuse me, do you know the way to Glossop station?

The Smoothest Most Youthful Carpark In Manchester From Above

An office conversation.

Sleuth: What’s Dermaskin? I got a funny picture of their car park yesterday.

NS: Dermaskin promotes collagen and makes your skin look smooth and youthful

DB: Or even like an inflated condom.

Dermaskin from above

High Altitude Lack Of Connectivity

Confidential has a high living correspondent on the 41st floor of Beetham Tower, about 430ft in the sky. She was working from the home the other day when she had an external visit from one of those window cleaning blokes for whom stilts never really cut it. She texted Sleuth, 'Was just chatting to this bloke through the window vent as he abseiled past. He asked if we could swap numbers so I could send him the pictures. I tried to do this a minute later but he didn't have any reception.'

The reason for this might be EE, they have the most complaints as a mobile service provider? Or then again our man probably isn't allowed to take calls while dangling half a thousand feet in the air.

Still Sleuth has now an idea for an online dating venture. Men will swing into women's flats like James Bond. It'll be exciting. There's Tinder and Grindr, it's time for Swooper. 

Yes it's bloody miles to the ground

It's raining men