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Allotment Bar & Restaurant Opens, Turtle Bay For NQ, Best Squid, Floating Beetham

Sleuth Wk 32: honour, justice, seafood and abseiling

Written by . Published on August 1st 2014.


Allotment Bar & Restaurant Opens, Turtle Bay For NQ, Best Squid, Floating Beetham

SleuthSleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth

The Allotment On Dale Street Opens



Another bar with food has opened in the Northern Quarter. Allotment occupies the Nicholas Nickleby pub site that spent a deal of time as a clothes wholesaler. The menu's got burgers and afternoon teas naturally but also interesting stuff including pheasant breast braised in cider for £13.95 and grilled brie and pear toastie for £5.95.

Sleuth remembers Nicholas Nickleby having - by repute - a brothel upstairs, now it's got broth on the menu or at least soup. There's three cask beers, a smart cocktail list and lots of hanging vegetation. Do you know what Sleuth has just defined with those last two sentences? He's defined 'gentrification'. 

Allotment Bar

Allotment Bar

Sleuth And The San Carlo Group Thing

Sleuth often gets into conversation with foodie people, often streetfood types, who think that smooth, well-run operations are somehow evil because they smell of success and profit. San Carlo Group gets this a lot from the homespun streetfooders, but Sleuth can't help slipping back into Cicchetti in House of Fraser every few months or so for the beautiful bites they offer. On Thursday he munched on a quite extravagantly wonderful fresh grilled squid with mint, courgettes, tomatoes and leaves. He had two portions. Sleuth is a squidofiliac - which is apparently legal.

Heavenly squid

Heavenly squid

A Burger Too Far From Solita

Franco Sotgiu, the shy and demure owner of Solita Bar and Restaurant in the Northern Quarter seems to be taking the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow to heart. Like the Scots he's deep frying unlikely foods. This is not good for Scottish health indices (the worst in Europe) but makes the humble Mars Bar more interesting. Sotgiu has now gone slightly mad and deep fried lasagne and put it on a bun. Sleuth will try one...not because he's attracted to it but because, as with Everest, it's there. 

Yes, it really is lasagne deep fried, it's what the world is waiting for

 

Yes, it really is lasagne deep fried, it's what the world is waiting for

Turtle Bay Is Held Up By Noise

“Ryan’s Vintage in Northern Quarter is turning into a Turtle Bay,” said Confidential's Christian Valentine, the most romantically named salesman in Manchester. "Weird," said Sleuth, "they've just opened on Oxford Street. But worse, a restaurant chain in the Northern Quarter. There'll be Doc Martins at dawn." Sleuth collared the Ryan's Vintage boss. “Yeah they’ve been coming here to look at the site since April,” he said. “But it looks like it’s fallen through. This place is £100k a year rent alone, then they’d have to soundproof floors and ceilings. That's too much I reckon.” “Thank the lord,” replied Sleuth. “Where else could I get my hands on soiled Levis thirteen sizes too big and a framed portrait of Cantona drawn by somebody with an anvil for a hand?”  

Frank is happy for Ryan's Vintage to stay

 

Frank is happy for Ryan's Vintage to stay

Glossop Beats Pamplona's Bull Run

Confidential's copywriter lives up in the hills and was in Glossop earlier this week. She joined the Glossop cow run. This is becoming a regular occurrence. The award-winning butchers Mettricks in the town has its own abbatoir. A delivery of cattle was about to meet its maker when the beasts made a dash for freedom - as stated not for the first time. Down the street they ran, people jumping for cover, car owners stranded amidst onrushing leather. It was like Pamplona amongst the terraces. Very exciting. In the end though it all ended like the movie The Great Escape, the prisoners rounded up and executed although in the Glossop Cattle Run there were no survivors. Sleuth hears Morrissey is to do a benefit gig for their families next year.  

Excuse me, do you know the way to the station?

 

Excuse me, do you know the way to Glossop station?

The Smoothest Most Youthful Carpark In Manchester From Above

An office conversation.

Sleuth: What’s Dermaskin? I got a funny picture of their car park yesterday.

NS: Dermaskin promotes collagen and makes your skin look smooth and youthful

DB: Or even like an inflated condom.

Dermaskin from above

Dermaskin from above

High Altitude Lack Of Connectivity

Confidential has a high living correspondent on the 41st floor of Beetham Tower, about 430ft in the sky. She was working from the home the other day when she had an external visit from one of those window cleaning blokes for whom stilts never really cut it. She texted Sleuth, 'Was just chatting to this bloke through the window vent as he abseiled past. He asked if we could swap numbers so I could send him the pictures. I tried to do this a minute later but he didn't have any reception.'

The reason for this might be EE, they have the most complaints as a mobile service provider? Or then again our man probably isn't allowed to take calls while dangling half a thousand feet in the air.

Still Sleuth has now an idea for an online dating venture. Men will swing into women's flats like James Bond. It'll be exciting. There's Tinder and Grindr, it's time for Swooper. Yes it's bloody miles to the ground

Yes it's bloody miles to the ground

It's raining menIt's raining men

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27 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Elizabeth HolroydAugust 1st 2014.

Yeah - Cicchetti is great when they actually bring all the correct food you've ordered to your table and charge you for the items you actually eaten. Was totally screwed over last time I was there.

4 Responses: Reply To This...
Henry VAugust 1st 2014.

Elizabeth, if a restaurant makes a mistake with my order, i simply ask them to put it right. 'Screwed over' is a bit harsh, no?

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

@Henry V Yes, but it's possible Elizabeth discovered she'd been ripped off after the she'd left. Also I'd imagine customers don't want to be seen scrutinising a bill with a calculator as the waiter's stood next to them, but if the restaurant had a reputation for ripping customers off then if I did eat there, that's exactly what I'd do.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

I always check the bill wherever I eat out and as often as not there is something wrong, waiting all those tables is tough and its a 1 minute job to check, simple solution

AnonymousAugust 2nd 2014.

I've had a few issues with Mr Thomas's Chop House. Even the bar staff short changing me.

Nick NameAugust 1st 2014.

Turtle Bay on Oldham St, Nooooooooo! Hope this doesn't happen, ever! How does Ryan's Vintage pay £100k a year in rent? You'd have to sell an awful lot of soiled levi's and dodgy Cantona paintings to make it worthwhile?

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

I was happy that Turtle Bay were coming here, Oldham Street needs more night time activity north of Hilton Street. If they don't take it I don't know who else will.

5 Responses: Reply To This...
Nick NameAugust 1st 2014.

I'm all for more night time activity as you put it, but I'd hate to see Oldham St flooded with National chains. What makes the area special is the independent shops.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

I've never thought of Oldham street as special! Grim is more like it.

GimboidAugust 1st 2014.

The Arndale awaits you, Anon #2.

ShybaldbuddhistAugust 1st 2014.

Well it's doing great without you Anon no 2.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

I much prefer Starbucks any time to the over priced,so called independents.Behind the hipster facade it's just a bunch of greedy businessmen.

rinkydinkAugust 1st 2014.

It'd be a good addition. A lot of bars in the NQ are effectively chains - same owners, different names

3 Responses: Reply To This...
mancadamAugust 1st 2014.

yep. the NQ is (largely) as homogenised as deansgate these days. it's just a standard bar district now.

rinkydinkAugust 1st 2014.

It's becoming a parody of itself. And the aim is the mainly the same for all of them - do the place up as cheaply as possible under the guise of it looking bohemian, charge a fortune for the wares, extract the cash, spend it on big houses for the owners and use what's left to repeat the process

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

Everyone is welcome in hipsterville just as long as you are same as them.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

'There'll be Doc Martins at dawn.'? Perhaps, but it's not 1986.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

I think the Mettricks story above is a sad one TBH. I'm no veggie and I buy from Mettricks but it's not pleasant seeing the animals knowing they'll be killed.

Gavin HarrisonAugust 1st 2014.

Correct Rinkydink!!

Sonia ManbordeAugust 1st 2014.

Would be brilliant if Turtle Bay opens NQ.

AnonymousAugust 1st 2014.

The northern quarter existed long before it was colonised by the pseudo hipsters from the posh schools.Its becoming less cosmopolitan and inclusive as a result,and more and more Jack Wills.It would benefit from the opening of venues that appeal to other demographics in this city.

James SmithAugust 2nd 2014.

Blimey, some bitter oldies on here isn't there. No-one is forcing you to go to the Northern Quarter, there was nothing there before so it's not like they're depriving you of anything. Stick to Deansgate if you don't like it.

4 Responses: Reply To This...
rinkydinkAugust 2nd 2014.

Northern Quarter is the new Deansgate doncha know

AnonymousAugust 2nd 2014.

In what way is it the new Deansgate Locks?

JimAugust 2nd 2014.

He didn't say it was the new deansgate locks....

rinkydinkAugust 3rd 2014.

See Mancadam's previous comment...

AnonymousAugust 2nd 2014.

I like the NQ think it's becoming saturated with bars and restaurants. It does cater for everyone.

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