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“You had to be there!”

Person with tenuous link to Liverpool comes here and drinks our tea unannounced

Published on May 18th 2009.


“You had to be there!”

A PERSON with a tenuous link to Liverpool was last night believed to have been spotted in several key city locations, wearing no make-up and drinking tea.

The alarm was first raised by several PR people who were quick to alert the media as soon as they heard that the star, who was wearing no make-up, had been in and had “had a good look around”.

The sex-mad character, who was making a dream trip to the city after confiding last year that it was her most cherished wish to go around the shops at Liverpool ONE, was believed to have cleverly dodged the paparazzi by not telling them she was coming.

“She walked in and wandered around our premises,” said Colin Snood (below), who did not wish to be identified.

“I was shocked because I didn't recognise her until after she'd gone. It was, like, totally random.”

At the nearby Goat pub, the man-eating Austin Powers star who plays sassy Sarah Jessica Parker in The Wire, was relieved of her grandmother (102) while at the bar buying a post-traumatic, happy hour Manhattan. There she told scores of enthralled fans that it had been "an ordeal", and both of them later left under a coat.

“I was stunned,” said a customer the next day in the Costco car park, just up the road. "She wasn't wearing Manolo Blahniks like normal. But then I wasn't there.

“What did you say her name was again?"

A spokesman for George Gawith taxis later remarked: “You had to be there really.”

Next time: "Ricky Tomlinson in town!" sensation.

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Al BumenMay 18th 2009.

What's wrong with egg & cress? With the right calibre of ingredients it is fit for a king!

Rusty SpikeMay 18th 2009.

Great story. Great scoop. But, you know, Mrs Editor, some PR wallahs will actually think they've missed a trick. The gaggles of PR folk who bounded into Liverpool on the back of the Cultural Jamboree, or the expanded the home-grown 'Focus on Handouts Based on Hype' outfits, will be fuming at not getting the chance to pitch for this event. Ha, ha. I imagine they continue shovel out container loads of banal drivel every week. Why does every celebrity activity, or opening of a boring bar, or a new style egg & cress bap need the self-proclaimed 'expertise' of these gaggles of PR bozos to attract attention? I don't even like egg & cress.

Cock endsMay 18th 2009.

It was Doddy I bet

scoobyheadMay 18th 2009.

She should have gone to Manchester - a much more fashionable city with distinctly less ugly citizens.

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