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Wigan Accountant eats Lotto Pies

Fairhurst, the Wigan Accountants, have successfully applied for and received £40,955 lottery money to organise walks to the local pie shop for junior staff...

Published on April 26th 2006.


Wigan Accountant eats Lotto Pies

Fairhurst, the Wigan Accountants, have successfully applied for and received £40,955 lottery money to organise walks to the local pie shop for junior staff, Manchester Confidential’s ace reporter Scratch Jackson can reveal.

Additionally 692 communal bicycles have been purchased to ensure that senior partners can get home at night without fear of being breathalysed.

Scratch Jackson finally caught up with senior ‘consultant’, Mr. David Fairhurst, falling out of a private jet owned by local billionaire, Mr. David ‘Dave’ Whelan.

“It’s an outrage”, said Mr. Fairhurst as he covered a puddle with his jacket to ensure his client didn’t muddy his shoes, “we asked for another £135,362 for some much needed bicycle clips but we got a knock back”.

Scratch made a fast exit from the airfield when, unexpectedly, Roy ‘Shady’ Garner emerged last out of the plane.

Scratch Jackson

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