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Where is Ringo's head?

Liverpool Confidential launches appeal and offers substantial reward for return of Ringo's privet part

Published on April 9th 2008.


Where is Ringo's head?

AS an intensive police search widened to include here there and everywhere last night, the mystery of where Ringo Starr's missing head might be is still no laughing matter.

The drummer Beatle, designed in leafy form with three others to celebrate Capital of Culture year, came a cropper at the weekend when some fool on the hill outside Liverpool South Parkway gave it the Billy (garden) Shears treatment, and at the same time adding sudden poignancy to the lyrics of “I'm looking through you”.

And now, none the wiser, Liverpool Confidential is launching an appeal with a substantial reward for any information that might lead to the safe return of the missing head.

Said a spokesman: “People out there know who's responsible for this, but we need that evidence to progress the investigation. We want those people to come forward and talk to us. We are Confidential by name and by nature, so just tell us. Alright.”

He added: “Four days on, the theft of Ringo's head could be playing on the minds and consciences of those involved, or those who know something about it, and we'd urge them to get in touch.

"It's true we've had a disappointing response so far, just as Ringo's Liverpool 8 album had a disappointing response when it was released, but perhaps this reward offer for the safe return of Ringo's head will make a difference.”

An undisclosed amount of Ringo CDs will be given to any witnesses with solid details leading to the recovery of the head. But we must warn hoaxers, or anyone else providing duff information, that you will be liable to receive even more.

Don't have nightmares.

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14 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Marky poosApril 9th 2008.

I know where it is!.....its up his arse

The Octopus GangApril 9th 2008.

We have the head in our garden. It is being fed baby bio and kept in trim with a pair of tweezers. That's all you need to know for the moment. We will hand it over, in return, firstly, for free tickets to a Beatles show in Los Angeles - what's good for The Fireman is good enough for us - and a regular gig as a Liverpool Confidential restaurant reviewer, with free nosh and as much booze as we can down. We don't want to review any rubbish places. We also have a list of other demands which we shall reveal in the fullness of time. Listen carefully is a time waster. He was part of our gang until we kicked him out. He was deaf. If you agree to our initial demands, please type the letters OK somewhere in a forthcoming confidential story. It is important that you do not draw undue attention to this. We will respond by sending you a leaf from Ringo's head, in the post. If you do not respond as instructed, we shall send you a large bare branch and you will never see Ringo's head again. We are deadly serious. WARNING: Do Not Grass Us Up To The City Council.

Listen carefullyApril 9th 2008.

We have the head in our possession at this time. We will be in touch with our demands later.

Lord StreetApril 9th 2008.

I find it infuriating that Liverpool City Council is wasting our money on gimmicky trash like this celebrating some old pop group from Hamburg that moved to London faster than you can say ‘Beatle wig’, when a shortage of money is the same old excuse they use to allow untrammelled vandalism to the historic fabric of the city itself. Can’t be arsed to look after our landmark buildings? Why not and them over to Frenson, Maghull, etc., on a plate? They’ll know what to do with them all right! (And make a fat profit for themselves whilst they’re about it.)

Patricia LyndseyApril 9th 2008.

After what he said about Liverpool. We should only remember 3 Beatles

Pregnant pauseApril 9th 2008.

I've got it up my jumper. Do I win?

Lord StreetApril 9th 2008.

You're just hedging your bets, Mr. McCracken. I presume that you like the privet life?

Shannons MamApril 9th 2008.

Its under our lads bed

AndyApril 9th 2008.

Lord Street's just re-written history!

Phil McCrackenApril 9th 2008.

I know the whereabouts of Birkenhead and Holyhead but honest guvnor I know nothing about this one.

BernieApril 9th 2008.

To the Octopus Gang: Is Herbert the hairdresser one of your lot? And can I join?

Inspector BungApril 9th 2008.

I saw Ringo's head propping up the bar in the Living Room last night.

Salad DazeApril 9th 2008.

So THAT was the garnish on my Liverpool restaurant plate. Mmmm. Delicious. Unlike the rest of the meal.

BernardApril 9th 2008.

We're on to you. So watch it.

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