Vast New MCR Tunnel Found: Tours Available

OF COURSE THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S DAY STORY

 FOLLOWING refurbishment work at Central Library in Manchester a vast network of tunnels has been found that may date back to Victorian times.

The exciting news for Confidential readers is that they can be the first members of the public to explore the system which extends for several miles in all directions. 

Lead engineer, Charles Dodgson, tells the story. 

"One of the workmen, Jim Alys, was working under Library Walk preparing foundations when he slipped through a hole that suddenly appeared. We feared the worst but then he called back saying he'd found some sort of engineering wonderland down there. There's certainly some elaborate stonework.

"We believe the system is from Victorian times," Dodgson continued, "although that needs more research. We found a large pocket watch dated 1865 and inscribed with a name, M Hatter. It had stopped at exactly 6'o'clock."

The exciting news for Confidential readers is that they can be the first members of the public to explore the system which extends for several miles in all directions. 

On Saturday 6 and 13 April there will be tours setting off from the Albert Memorial, Albert Square, at 2pm on each of the days. The price is £8 and people will be chosen on a first come, first served basis. The tours last approximately two hours or longer if groups need rescuing.

Members of the public will need to bring torches, rope and a packed lunch - no pickled onion or tuna sandwiches please.

Guests will also need to wear sensible shoes - kevlar body armour is not necessary on this trip, but can look good in certain social situations. Head torches are banned as 'inappropriate' but other personal illumination is welcome. 

It's long and deep and less smelly than a sewer (marginally)