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The One to Watch: Snow

Modern life comes to standstill in white-stuff-Groundhog-Day-type shocker (ok it's been snowing a bit).

Published on February 2nd 2009.


The One to Watch: Snow

High excitement! Liverpool, a no-go area for snow, was today....
A snow-go area!

It's official! Snow has fallen on Liverpool for the first time since banana rationing.
That's global warming for you. The tide might be rising, but this morning on Crosby beach, even the Gormley men were covered in a dusting of white powder.

Huh. I was in a bar like that in Concert Square on Saturday night.
May I remind you that Liverpool city centre hasn't witnessed a sea of white like this since oooh....

...that litter bin was tipped over outside The Lobster Pot a few weeks ago. I remember...chip papers and seagulls everywhere.
The weather is The National Obsession, I'll have you know. The whole country is in its element. At a standstill and unable to cope, but in its element.

Shouldn't that be elements, if we're talking about weather?
Quite. Forget recession, Gaza, the falling pound. Children are pink faced and beaming with glee as they build snowmen previously only seen in books, find new uses for carrots and ring their uncles to ask for long-forgotten playground techniques on how to batter each other senseless with reinforced snowballs.

It says on the telly that the whole country is gripped by a state of emergency ...
In other words, we've got a bit of weather. The Met Office is calling this the most major snow "event” for several years. Chaos reigns....

Rains? I thought you said it was snowing....
....It still is. And while the rest of the world gets on with it, here radio phone-ins have ground to a halt. In a shock departure from Maddie and Princess Di stories, The Daily Express has gone hysterical as schools close and buses are late - Quite simply, weather is making splash headlines everywhere.

Phew, what a scorcher!?
Nope. “Brrrrr! World comes to end – and there's more to come...”

I love it when it snows....
Me too. Our garden looks the same as everyone else's, usually it's a bit of a thaw point.

And you can sing slushy songs. I'm dreaming of a white.....
Candlemas!

You what?
February 2. It's Candlemas. An old pagan feast. The halfway point between winter and spring. So a great excuse for a wicca knees up and finding even more new uses for a carrot. Unless you are German or American and Feb 2 is called Groundhog Day. If the groundhog comes out and sees his shadow, there's another six weeks of winter like this

What does that mean?
A decent Bill Murray Film spoiled, some would say, by that bird from Four Weddings and a Funeral.

In reality, six more weeks of weather means happy days for the Daily Express. Expect lots more phrases like “Arctic blizzard”, “wreaking havoc” and “millions set to die” as the front pages are cleared.

Do say: “It's during a crisis that we British show our true grit.”

Don't say: “We haven't seen any gritters at all yet.....yikes!”

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9 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

KnowledgeableFebruary 2nd 2009.

There are plenty of little peckers in the picture.

Charlotte StreetFebruary 2nd 2009.

That sort of thing happens to a city with a tousle-haired embarrassment for a Mayor! Thank goodness Liverpool doesn't...

AnonymousFebruary 2nd 2009.

Snow good complaining - weather you like it or not!

trapper peteFebruary 2nd 2009.

Liverpool looking clean for a change.wonders never cease, lets hope it snows for the next 6 month.

AnonymousFebruary 2nd 2009.

Miserable snow. I hate it.

moggymooFebruary 2nd 2009.

scousers cant even stand up to a little snow. Used to travel to scotland every year in the winter - they were hardy people. scousers cant even take a little bad weather without blaming thatcher or wingeing that their fuel benefits are not enough.Go back to Ireland with your traveller friends and leave the rest of us in peace in a clean crime free country.

InsubstantialFebruary 2nd 2009.

Had Gormley's boy's willie shrunk?

a nonny mouseFebruary 2nd 2009.

what did one snowman say t the other snowman?/ can you smell carrots????

David FrostFebruary 2nd 2009.

I just found an old carrot for my snownam and it's nearly all gone. wehre's the justice?

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