Superlambanana shocker

In a move described as “political correctness gone mad”, faceless European bureaucrats yesterday launched an offensive against Taro “The Card” Chiezo and the Liverpool City Council over the Mersey's very own cherished object of art, the Superlambanana.

According to the spineless Brussels lot, who have never even set foot in Liverpool, not even on a champagne junket in the good times, our now-beloved Superlammie is the wrong shade of yellow and does not conform to stringent EU guidelines.

“It needs a green strip along its spine, otherwise it is not fit for purpose,” said a spokeswoman in a funny accent who refused to be named yesterday.

Fatcat Euro MPs are now calling for all models to be taken off the shelves at shops in the Albert Dock. But the move will devastate local trade, argue critics, prompting Downtown Liverpool in Business to launch a campaign “Get Your Hands Off Our Banana, OK” (GYHOOBOK ).

“It's iconic,” chorused outraged customers in Greggs yesterday, when asked by a “multimedia” reporter. But last night it wasn't clear whether they were talking about the cheery sculpture we have all come to love, or the Nokia N95 he was holding up to their faces.

Meanwhile, fresh reports that the Superlambanana might once again be being eyed by an envious Manchester council were, hailed as “utter bullocks” by media insiders who, in fact, were thought to have made the whole thing up in the first place.

“Talk about a storm in a teacup”, gushed one, battling against the Old Hall Street gales last week. “We do.”