Welcome to Manchester Confidential
Reset Password
The Confidential websites will be undergoing routine updates. This may cause the sites to go offline. We apologise in advance for any inconvenience.

You are here: Manchester ConfidentialNews.

Superlambanana shocker

Outrage sparked after sculpture deemed to be wrong shade of yellow

Published on April 1st 2009.


Superlambanana shocker

In a move described as “political correctness gone mad”, faceless European bureaucrats yesterday launched an offensive against Taro “The Card” Chiezo and the Liverpool City Council over the Mersey's very own cherished object of art, the Superlambanana.

According to the spineless Brussels lot, who have never even set foot in Liverpool, not even on a champagne junket in the good times, our now-beloved Superlammie is the wrong shade of yellow and does not conform to stringent EU guidelines.

“It needs a green strip along its spine, otherwise it is not fit for purpose,” said a spokeswoman in a funny accent who refused to be named yesterday.

Fatcat Euro MPs are now calling for all models to be taken off the shelves at shops in the Albert Dock. But the move will devastate local trade, argue critics, prompting Downtown Liverpool in Business to launch a campaign “Get Your Hands Off Our Banana, OK” (GYHOOBOK ).

“It's iconic,” chorused outraged customers in Greggs yesterday, when asked by a “multimedia” reporter. But last night it wasn't clear whether they were talking about the cheery sculpture we have all come to love, or the Nokia N95 he was holding up to their faces.

Meanwhile, fresh reports that the Superlambanana might once again be being eyed by an envious Manchester council were, hailed as “utter bullocks” by media insiders who, in fact, were thought to have made the whole thing up in the first place.

“Talk about a storm in a teacup”, gushed one, battling against the Old Hall Street gales last week. “We do.”

Like what you see? Enter your email to sign up for our newsletters which are chock-a-block with more great reviews, news, deals and savings.

11 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

100% MancApril 1st 2009.

You scouse ba****ds...you scouse ba****ds..!!! Murderers.... murderers...!

There, there, thereApril 1st 2009.

I think MUFC OK, like every Manc, takes this stuff seriously!

AnonymousApril 1st 2009.

hahaha...

gettoeApril 1st 2009.

rhys jones. james bulger. hillsborough.heysel stadium.........never happened in manchester.

All the lonely peopleApril 1st 2009.

Are MUFC and Toffee Joey the same person pretending to talk to eachother again? Is there a befriending service that they could go to?

MUFC just about OKApril 1st 2009.

Oooh! Sticks and stones!

MUFC OKApril 1st 2009.

There are 2 reasons why Manchester wont want this;1 - it comes from liverpool.2 - it has no artitistic merit (in common with just about everything from your city).

All the lonely peopleApril 1st 2009.

Oh dear I think I touched a nerve with the lonely ranter. Anyway I am off to form an ice cream van - is that like putting wagons in a circle?

Ryan GiggsApril 1st 2009.

who can rob your houses, violate your gran, sell cocaine form an ice cream van, the scousers can!

David AttenboroughApril 1st 2009.

Proper Mancunians wouldn't associate themselves with the initials 'MUFC' surely? This is surely some lower form of life.

GoonerApril 1st 2009.

funny

To post this comment, you need to login.Please complete your login information.
OR CREATE AN ACCOUNT HERE..
Or you can login using Facebook.

Latest Rants

Anonymous

Repeating,without any evidence the same point that socialism = public services is hardly…

 Read more
Anonymous

You absolutely right,I hate all these bloody nimbys stopping development and progress.Of course if…

 Read more
Anonymous

Manchester's size and climate isn't dissimilar to Rotterdam or Dusseldorf but the city is held back…

 Read more
Anonymous

Straying off the point again David, which is that investing in public services is socialist but as…

 Read more

Explore The Site

© Mark Garner t/a Confidential Direct 2017

Privacy | Careers | Website by: Planet Code | SEO by The eWord