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Not Strictly Confidential

Everton One or Two? Last crumbs of TUC and a wake for Jake

Published on September 18th 2009.


Not Strictly Confidential

HAVE Everton scored an own goal in their efforts to go permanently one up on their more illustrious rivals across the park?

They famously named their second store – in the city's new billion pound shopping extravaganza – Everton Two so that its address would forever more read: Everton Two, Liverpool One.

A PR master stroke, no less. Or is it?

You see, that meant changing the name of their original megastore to Everton One, otherwise it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, would it?

That store is, of course, at Goodison Park, which is to be found in the Liverpool 4 postcode district – you can see where we are going with this, can't you?

Yes, that means its NEW address is now, and forever more – Everton One, Liverpool 4. And, by any standards, that's a pretty heavy defeat on your home ground at the hands of the old enemy.

**********

There's only one Aldo! Except, not any more.

To most of the country, the word Aldo means the very height of style, sophistication and nifty footwork.

To Liverpudlians, the word Aldo means the very height of, well, nifty footwork anyway, in the form of former Red John Aldridge.

High-class shoe sellers Aldo have opened up in Liverpool One with a reputation for refinement and good taste but every time we look at that massive sign on the front of the shop, all we see is an image of that shiny, Irish, honest-as-the-day-is-long moustachioed face with a place in all Kopites' hearts.

We think football boots, we don't think booties by Kapetanos. Which is why a google search using the words “Aldo” and “Liverpool” bring up few mentions of fashion shoes and 20 billion links to the goal-getting LFC legend.

He's a lovely lad, our Aldo, but not, we're sure he wouldn't mind us saying, someone normally associated with the height of cool and sophistication – as the link below, featuring Aldridge as summariser during Liverpool's Champions League encounter with Arsenal last year, illustrates a little too well, especially after 4 mins 10 into the clip.

**********

Speaking of shoes, “There is something about high heels,” TUC delegates heard, “that gets people very excited indeed.” Or, in the case of the Daily Mail, very contradictory indeed.

Last year, the conference was told, the Mail ran a story headlined “The hidden cost of high heels” all about the physical risks stilettos pose.

By contrast, this year the same newspaper carried another story, “Hands off our high heels”. It dismissed union suggestions that heels were impractical and hazardous for working women as “old-style feminism”.

Despite the rather “fancy that” approach of these articles, they do both comply with the Mail's strict editorial policy: If you can't make them frightened, make them furious.”

Mary Turner, from GMB, recalled how Tory MP Nadine Dorries had told the Mail: “I need every inch of my

Christian Louboutin heels to look my male colleagues in the eye.”

“Louboutin”, countered Ms Turner, “sounds like something you flush down the loo.” Funny you should say that, Mary, because we find that's the best use for any Daily Mails we find lying around.

At least it's softer than Izal.

**********

TUC organisers again missed a trick when they were casting around for suitable sponsors. Carling lager is all very well but next year they would be crackers not to get the TUC biscuit people involved.

We can just see the posters now: “Down with slavery, up with savoury!”

********

Spotted at the TUC conference: A proper, old-school, pissed national newspaper journalist who shall remain nameless, stumbling, slurring, apologising (many times), repeating himself. And it wasn't even midday yet.

He tottered merrily past ranks of dilligent reporters following a debate concerning the dangers of high heels in the workplace, occasionally pausing to share beer fumes with anyone he vaguely recognised.

“I've been to loads of TUC conferenshes,” he announced, a bit too loudly.

“Shhhhhh” hissed a rather younger, rather more sober – in every sense – lady journalist representing one of the nation's esteemed broadsheets. “I'm shorry,” he said. “I've had a couple of drinks.” Three broadsheets to the wind, you might say.

“She's boring,” he added, nodding in the direction of the top table. “I'm shorry. I've been to loads of TUC conferenshes, you know."

Given the nature of the debate, perhaps he was suffering from repetitive sprain injury.

**********

he sad and tragic passing of Echo and the Bunnymen's Jake Brockman, who was killed in a motorbike crash on the Isle of Man two weeks ago, has been marked with tributes by many already and a funeral will take place in his hometown of Bristol next week.

Confidential remembers Jake as the smiling, approachable face of the Bunnymen back in the day when it was far cooler, if you were in a band, to be a sulky young man, so it was good to hear of an impromptu wake last week at The Albert pub in Lark Lane, as several of his friends and bandmates gathered to, literally, send him on his way. For like any proper Irish wake, the body was there too.

Confidential understands that en route from the island to his final resting place, Jake was given a short, unscheduled tour of the places he lived and laughed in during his time in Liverpool, including the Bunnymen's old house in Aigburth Drive. A coffin, in a yellow van parked outside the pub, had hi fi speakers sitting either side of the top end, with Jake's favourite music gently playing. Anecdotes were swapped, pictures were mulled and final beers were supped before the unlikely cortege made its way south.

A Liverpool farewell.

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13 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Yaahfyaa affassas...hic!September 18th 2009.

You can't beat a good Cuprinol Special Preserve.

MalHSeptember 18th 2009.

No, no, you are not getting away with that one - no one based in Liverpool 1 will give South John St as a postal address - it is far too big, too sprawling and linked to too many streets.They may not say say Walton Lane for Everton 1 but if not they would say Goodison Park. Nice try but someone so knowledgeable knows they are trying to pull a fast one. I suspect I am the MalH you think I am but how would I know?

KnowledgeableSeptember 18th 2009.

And?

Recovering alcoholicSeptember 18th 2009.

I would try a nice Irish single malt called Connemara. You may get it in Oddbins or at a specialist drinks merchant. It is excellent, but not cheap like a blend. For God's sake, Dig.

DigSeptember 18th 2009.

I'm not a single malt man. Prefer blends and whiskey to whisky but prefer bourbon. Makers Mark or Woodford Reserve always slip down nice.

DigSeptember 18th 2009.

Interesting that somebody with the name Knowledgeable starts a sentence with the word 'And'.

KnowledgeableSeptember 18th 2009.

By that token MalH, it's really Everton 2, South John St, Liverpool 1. And is that the MalH I think it is?

In need of a drinkSeptember 18th 2009.

Quite right, Dig. Take no notice of Recovering Alcoholic who obviously knows rather too much about the hard stuff. Oh, and thanks for the tip - I may try a little of that Woodford Reserve on your recommendation. Cheers!

Number crunchingSeptember 18th 2009.

Birmingham 6 - Guildford 4.

KnowledgeableSeptember 18th 2009.

You are clearly not as knowledgeable as I.

MalHSeptember 18th 2009.

BUT surely the address for the store at Goodison Park is Everton1,Walton Lane, Liverpool 4 - not quite as snappy or as funny as Everton 2 Liverpool 1. BTW "illustrious neighbours" - koppite alert!

In need of a drinkSeptember 18th 2009.

Eh, Dig, you strike me as a whisky man. Can you recommend a good single malt I might sample this weekend?

DigSeptember 18th 2009.

For God's sake what? I like what I like. I never professed to be a connoisseur or purist. In fact I know very little about whiskey or whisky. As I said above. Bourbon is my preference. I don't know much about that either.

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