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Manchester MP on the fiddle

Confidential exposes a Manchester MPs private expenses fiddle. How can we let them get away with this?

Published on March 31st 2009.

Manchester MP on the fiddle

Manchester Confidential has been leaked the expenses from Manchester West MP Roger Acket. These reveal a truly scandalous catalogue of deception and deceit. Mr Acket was elected in 2003 as a Labour MP and has subsequently been in and out of the headlines over a number of grubby incidents. He comes from a family of wallposter manufacturers, which somehow makes it worse.

These are some of the expenses Mr R Acket has claimed in the last twelve months include:

A CD of ‘There’s no place like a Second Home’

Gold-plated trough £1150

A vanity case: £80

A pet Cheetah £1800

Urine extractor: £80

A bath plug: 89p

A copy of ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ was returned to Waterstones and changed for Jeffrey Archers’, ‘First Amongst Equals’.

Mr Acket also hired a personal assistant, Miss Foo Foo Succulent, lap-dancer, masseuse and good with spreading sheets at £80 an hour.

Mr Roger Acket

We asked several prominent bankers in the city what they thought of Mr Acket’s expenses. They said: “Good on him”, “That’s my boy,” “You would if you could, wouldn’t you?”

This proves beyond doubt Mr Roger Acket’s guilt and we call on all sensible readers to get together a posse, ride out to West Manchester and hang him high from the nearest gum tree.

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jaybeeMarch 31st 2009.

Poor ol' Kev, he can't abide Labour having fun poked at it.They ARE all at it, but Labour are at it even more than the others! Shades of Animal Farm there. As the plebs seem happy to sit on the dole, it is them after all that elect this money-grubbing load of shysters anyway, why should we complain?To the rousing tune now....The working class can kiss my ass I have the MP's expenses and allowances to claim at last!

Kev PMarch 31st 2009.

This is funny apart from the fact that you made him a Labour MP - the others are at it too, it's just that Labour can't afford the £300k it costs to buy a mole in the expenses department!

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