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Labour Party Annual Conference

The eyes of the world will be on Manchester between 24th and the 28th of September for what will be Tony Blair’s final appearance as Prime Minister at a Labour Party Conference….

Published on September 19th 2006.

Labour Party Annual Conference

Ok, here goes. My name is Rob, and I… am a Newcastle supporter. Phew, that’s been a tough thing to admit of late – especially living in Manchester! Now I am not myself politically affiliated, but I imagine that at the moment Labour Party members are going through a similar sort of turmoil. I can imagine countless numbers of people staring into their bathroom mirrors early in the morning, splashing cold water onto their brow after another restless night, and muttering “I’m John, I’m a member of the Laburghhh… must… wash… mouth… out…”

I genuinely feel for them. The Labour Party has seemingly self-destructed of late – mass resignations, suspicious clandestine meetings between houses 10 and 11, Scotters investigating the PM, etc etc. This year’s Labour Party conference is going to be a big one.

Not only has Tony let everyone know it will be his last, it is also a chance for his potential successors to take to the stage and set out their stalls. One thing is for sure, what Labour seek from this conference, and their members, is stability, consolidation and loyalty.

The Tories must be loving it. And with the Lib Dems now weeding out the deviants, they must be enjoying it a bit too. Current man-of-the-people, Dave ‘don’t mention Eton’ Cameron, has been quietly stapling the wind turbine to his roof, hugging poor people, and running over pedestrians – lying quietly in wait for another Labour disaster.

Given the obvious authorative weakness of the Labour Party, one wonders how they may deal with the traditional conference hecklers. At the last party conference, Labour flexed their anti-terror muscles by physically ejecting an 83 year old man for shouting ‘rubbish’ (something tells me that Blair may get worse than that from the Stop the War Coalition brigade) – what could they get away with this conference? Perhaps they’ll just put Cherie on patrol so that she can slap anybody who talks when ‘our Tony’ is on… and then deny it.

Anyway, whether you’re like me and feel a little sorry for him, or you’re outside the GMEX shouting obscenities during this year’s Labour party conference, spare a thought for Tony. For when he stands staring at his tired reflection late at night, he has to pluck up the courage to admit two things to himself. Not only is he a member of the Labour party – a hanging offence in these dark times – but he is, like me, a Newcastle United fan. Things can only get better eh, Tony?

Robert Day

Labour Party Annual Conference
Manchester GMex
24th – 28th September

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