Welcome to Manchester Confidential
Reset Password
The Confidential websites will be undergoing routine updates. This may cause the sites to go offline. We apologise in advance for any inconvenience.

You are here: Manchester ConfidentialNews.

Iron men in ASBO beach rampage

Exclusive: Families “stunned” as Antony Gormley statues leave trail of devastation

Published on June 2nd 2009.


Iron men in ASBO beach rampage

A SO CALLED art work was being slammed today by thousands of stunned sun-worshippers after the beach on which they are set was mindlessly wrecked in BROAD DAYLIGHT.

Antony Gormley's so-called Another Place statues occupy the coastline between Waterloo and Crosby Coastguard station. There are thought to be as many as a hundred of them, according to estimates.

But trouble flared yesterday, traditionally the hottest day of the year, when thousands of families and groups of young friends travelled from all over Merseyside to enjoy the sunshine.

It was all peaceful until around 8pm, according to one man who did not wish to be named. “We had just been observing a beautiful array of tattoos, that had landed nearby, on a full case of WKD.

“They were doing nobody any harm and there had been a brilliant atmosphere all day. People were getting a bronzy, and I wasn't the only fella to spark up the barbie. She didn't mind, like.”

But suddenly the mood got nasty.

“They (the iron men) just completely lost it,” said one woman who did not wish to be named.

“We thought there might be a kick-off earlier in the afternoon. They were trying to stir things up. Going around the few bins there are and filling them up with rubbish and then standing guard over them so no one could get near them. It was disgraceful.

“There were thousands of people right across the beach, but it got so terrifying that we all just left. All the children were crying. We didn't have chance to take any of our stuff with us.”

Bleary eyed onlookers who fled the scene, the first recreational stretch of coast outside Liverpool, told how the

so-called statues had started:

*Drinking STELLA and smashing bottles.
*Using FOUL language.
*Stripping NAKED.
*Changing terrified babies' NAPPIES and throwing them everywhere.
*DEFECATING.

“It was horrible. We never stood a chance,” said one shaking mum of four who was catching the train back home from Waterloo Station on the area's own “Sunset Strip”, South Road.

“We've lost all our rubbish. We just had to leave it there. And we won't be coming back for it either.

“Twats.”

Despite repeated efforts, the statues refused to comment today.

But Colonel Ginger McBeehive, MBE, chairman of the local Delta Taxi Users Association, later told Liverpool Confidential: “What we need is a good war.”












Like what you see? Enter your email to sign up for our newsletters which are chock-a-block with more great reviews, news, deals and savings.

22 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Rusty SpikeJune 2nd 2009.

Ah, Deirdre...a teacher. Incidentally I suspect that your line 'what a load of old rubbish' is actually not a pun...but hey ho. Being clearly out of step with 'liberal' journals such as the G, who casually take young staff on without wages calling it an internship, I'll stay behind after class and write ten thousands lines: 'Deirdre is not amused'. Are you my auntie Deirdre, by the way? She was a teacher but also a nun who liked puns.

AnonymousJune 2nd 2009.

Ahhh good old liverpool. I'll never forget the days out to another place, stumbeling over the bricks, watching the rats eat peoples rubbish. Such good fun!

deirdreJune 2nd 2009.

Dear rusty spike you keep taking the tabloids, I will take the guardian along with other like journals.But it remains a p*** pot poor piece of work, not clever not funny, very childish.Being a teacher I would say my pupil - must do better, stay behind after class Deirdre is not amused

deirdreJune 2nd 2009.

What a load of old rubbish (no pun intended) this piece reads like a school boy essay. How much further must the standard fall? We need Laz back for some sensible debate. BRING BACK LAZ BRING BACK LAZ ...... come on join in !!

Dimply TedJune 2nd 2009.

86.150.166.133Thats liverpool all right.

AnonymousJune 2nd 2009.

Sorry to sound like a reactionary ba****d, but would it not be good if we got all the people on probation to clear all this ****e up. Or would they moan and sue about not having any suncream on?

Le Professeur a chié en parcJune 2nd 2009.

Ce qui est un anus pour sinon pour laisser beaucoup de merde?

OffendedJune 2nd 2009.

I find the use of the word "TW*TS" in this article offensive. Its obvious to me that the author needs his language cleaning up as well as the beach!

BRING BACK LAZJune 2nd 2009.

Ooh, is Rusty Spike referring to himself here with a bit of self deprecating, double punnery. I think we Neild to know.

Pimply redJune 2nd 2009.

That was absolutely punful. Go back to school, Liverpool School

Le Voyageur Sensible.June 2nd 2009.

Les mêmes ici, Tina ma bonne dame. Les Britanniques (les anglais en particulier) ont la plus mauvaise réputation pour le barbare comportement dans l'Europe, sinon le monde entire! Arseholes!

Sir Minge CampbellJune 2nd 2009.

I agree, you should sack the c**t who wrote that.

Rusty SpikeJune 2nd 2009.

There's now like nailing yer colours to the mast, so to speak....

PH DeeJune 2nd 2009.

I don't think Deirdre quite understands this punning business. She should take a day off school. After all, clarity begins at home

TinaJune 2nd 2009.

At least now the sun has gone in. This is shocking but typical. You wouldn't get this sort of behaviour anywhere else in the world but this country. It's east to tut-tut, of course, but the fact is I and my friends keep our mouths shut when on holiday abroad, purely because we're a bit embarrassed about being English

Wimply redJune 2nd 2009.

She might get into bad habits, but that wouldn't be a pun, like her rubbish quip, which works on every level, except the pun level, because it is merely a play on words. If she were a teacher of English Literature in a convent school, and class were studying the Barratts of Wimple Street, that might work as a pun, but not a very good one.

The Liverpool SchoolJune 2nd 2009.

If Deirdre was a teacher in a convent school, would she be a nun conformist?

Rusty SpikeJune 2nd 2009.

Well, I think yees folks on the coast should be delighted...Tracey Emin wins awards - and loadsa dosh - for this kind of rubbish, assembled artistically, of course.

KenJune 2nd 2009.

If you teachers did a better job people would behave better in public.You shouldn't let your pupils call you Deirdre for a start.

Rusty SpikeJune 2nd 2009.

Clearly, Deidre, you are not into the subtle yet sharply sensational ways of tabloid reports, more of a Gruniad person maybe? It takes great skill, Deidre dear heart...

Ikea KitchenerJune 2nd 2009.

This is a British problem

John BullJune 2nd 2009.

Когда я зарубежом я претендуйте что я русск!

To post this comment, you need to login.Please complete your login information.
OR CREATE AN ACCOUNT HERE..
Or you can login using Facebook.

Latest Rants

Anonymous

Repeating,without any evidence the same point that socialism = public services is hardly…

 Read more
Anonymous

You absolutely right,I hate all these bloody nimbys stopping development and progress.Of course if…

 Read more
Anonymous

Manchester's size and climate isn't dissimilar to Rotterdam or Dusseldorf but the city is held back…

 Read more
Anonymous

Straying off the point again David, which is that investing in public services is socialist but as…

 Read more

Explore The Site

© Mark Garner t/a Confidential Direct 2017

Privacy | Careers | Website by: Planet Code | SEO by The eWord