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Dinosaur found in Manchester City Centre

Manchester Confidential exclusive: bones of huge dead extinct beast found in Piccadilly

Published on March 31st 2009.


Dinosaur found in Manchester City Centre

The city looks set to make headlines all over the word with the discovery in Piccadilly Gardens of perhaps the biggest dinosaur ever found. In the world. Ever.

Professor Richard Bernstein said: “It must have been huge. It may have had wings but if that was the case it certainly never got off the ground. We call it Congestionissmus Chargifonium Nowayus.”

Plans are now being hatched to move the monster into a suitable exhibition space but this will be expensive.

“It certainly will,” said Sir Howard Leese. “We reckon the overall cost will be around £3bn. In many respects it's a shame that we never saw it alive. It could have been of some use, rather than becoming a footnote in history in a dusty old museum.”

Asked how old the bones might be, Lord Simpson of Florid said: “We believe it died millions of years ago in December 2008, drowned in a referendum, by a tribe of aggressive No Voters.”

Peel Holdings which owns the Trafford Centre has suggested that a charge be levied on all the citizens of Greater Manchester to ensure the corpse is preserved and provides lessons for the future. They are calling this the Dinosaur Innovation Fund.

Keep reading for more made-up news later.

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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousMarch 31st 2009.

Good try for an April Fools joke!!

Kev PMarch 31st 2009.

Murdered by a bunch of neolithic naysayers, RIP TIF!

oh pleaseMarch 31st 2009.

april fool!

foolish apeMarch 31st 2009.

I thought this was going to be about the Bruntwood "City Tower"...

AndyMarch 31st 2009.

what a ridiculous story

You're all so cleverMarch 31st 2009.

It makes me cringe when people feel the need to make a comment and let the world know that they have not been fooled....I hope they feel very clever - neither was anyone else - especially since it tells you the story was made up at the end as well...!

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