City To Open Largest Multi-Storey Car Park In The World

YES, THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOL STORY.

MANCHESTER CITY COUNCIL is to open the world's largest and highest multi-storey car park.

This will be higher than 47-storey Beetham Tower (pictured above) and take up to fifteen thousand cars at any one time.

After an open tender process has run its course it will be designed by either Ian Simpson, Roger Stephenson or Stephen Hodder and taken forward in a public/private partnership by developers Argent, Ask or Allied London. 

A City Council spokesperson today said, "The elegant fifty storey structure will significantly reduce cars into the regional centre therefore leaving it a much cleaner place for the limited number of trees we currently have in the city centre. With happier trees businesses will clearly flourish and trade will increase as millions of cyclists migrate to Manchester."

And where will the new fifty storey car park be located?

"Close to the city centre," the spokesperson said, "in an area of Trafford Park, called Dumplington. That place appreciates people who want to drive as close to shops as possible."

BREAKING NEWS: Alex Langsam of Britannia Hotels has announced that he's in negotiation with Greater Manchester Fire Station to return London Road Fire Station to its original use.

The Fire Station has been owned by Langsam's company since the 1980s and remained empty and crumbling throughout that time.

"These are serious talks aimed at providing a real future for this magnificent Manchester landmark," said Langsam. "We want to bring the wheel full circle and give the 1906 building its orginal function again.

"We are already way beyond the simple ideas stage with the Fire Service," he continued, "and getting down to the logistical nitty-gritty of operational detail. I expect a decision in a matter of weeks and am overjoyed to have received the full support of the Fire Service for the transformation of this key landmark but difficult site."

So has he actually talked to Greater Manchester Fire Service?

"No," said Langsam, "but I promise I will, honest, and as everybody knows with this site, my word is my bond." 

London Road Fire Station