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City To Open Largest Multi-Storey Car Park In The World

And London Road Fire Station To Become Fire Station Again

Published on April 1st 2012.


City To Open Largest Multi-Storey Car Park In The World

YES, THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOL STORY.

MANCHESTER CITY COUNCIL is to open the world's largest and highest multi-storey car park.

This will be higher than 47-storey Beetham Tower (pictured above) and take up to fifteen thousand cars at any one time.

After an open tender process has run its course it will be designed by either Ian Simpson, Roger Stephenson or Stephen Hodder and taken forward in a public/private partnership by developers Argent, Ask or Allied London. 

A City Council spokesperson today said, "The elegant fifty storey structure will significantly reduce cars into the regional centre therefore leaving it a much cleaner place for the limited number of trees we currently have in the city centre. With happier trees businesses will clearly flourish and trade will increase as millions of cyclists migrate to Manchester."

And where will the new fifty storey car park be located?

"Close to the city centre," the spokesperson said, "in an area of Trafford Park, called Dumplington. That place appreciates people who want to drive as close to shops as possible."

BREAKING NEWS: Alex Langsam of Britannia Hotels has announced that he's in negotiation with Greater Manchester Fire Station to return London Road Fire Station to its original use.

The Fire Station has been owned by Langsam's company since the 1980s and remained empty and crumbling throughout that time.

"These are serious talks aimed at providing a real future for this magnificent Manchester landmark," said Langsam. "We want to bring the wheel full circle and give the 1906 building its orginal function again.

"We are already way beyond the simple ideas stage with the Fire Service," he continued, "and getting down to the logistical nitty-gritty of operational detail. I expect a decision in a matter of weeks and am overjoyed to have received the full support of the Fire Service for the transformation of this key landmark but difficult site."

So has he actually talked to Greater Manchester Fire Service?

"No," said Langsam, "but I promise I will, honest, and as everybody knows with this site, my word is my bond." 

London Road Fire StationLondon Road Fire Station

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11 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousApril 1st 2012.

you are purile bunch at ManCon. - Egos gone wild matched only by a stunning lack of commercial nous

1 Response: Reply To This...
EditorialApril 1st 2012.

We love rants but it is our web magazine.

Peter SwallowApril 1st 2012.

Egos gone wild....that's exactly what it is Anon. And the smugness of the reply sums it all up.

1 Response: Reply To This...
James KayApril 2nd 2012.

What a colourless world this guy lives in! Begs the question... why even type in the web address?

Peter SwallowApril 1st 2012.

PS its puerile

AnonymousApril 1st 2012.

Lighten up......it's a J-O-K-E

Ruth CrawshawApril 1st 2012.

First couple of comment posters need to check the date I think.

Trev PetersonApril 1st 2012.

Bless, isn't it funny seeing the ranter above raving about some personal beef? It's a lovely day and the this made me giggle. You've got to wonder whether the person(s) is still in a rage and swearing at his families or whether he's calmed down now and gained a bit of perspective.

Prince_HarmingApril 1st 2012.

Not a patch on last year's Chorlton: Heston wind-up, but still gave me a chuckle. It's a lovely, sunny day and all is good with the world. People posting whiny replies can bugger off and learn to lighten up a little.

TishieApril 1st 2012.

Do the ranters not realise it's April Fools day!!!

Howard AbramsApril 1st 2012.

Mugs

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