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City Life: Is it worth £1.50 this week?

Published on March 30th 2005.

It’s a special week for City Life, they have been ‘guest edited’ by New Order, one of Gordo’s favourites. Gordo shot out of the office this lunchtime to get his copy, something he does every Wednesday to see what’s going on in his favourite piece of weekly treeware.

Gordo thinks that the mag has got considerably better over the past year or so, mainly with Tony Wilson and Flic Everett joining the team. Tony is performing well in his best surrealist way, dispensing advice in his Agony Aunt column to idiots with his over-used equation Alcohol = Bad, Heroin = Good mantra. Flic is madly on form, apart from a couple of stutters, with her column. Mr. Schofield remains the master of food and booze reviews whilst sometimes boring the ass off Gordo with his architecture pieces.

The music stuff I am sure is good, but I am buggered If I can understand what’s going on these days.

And some weird bloke or woman in the sex and self pity column near the rear. I am totally confused with this blond with a couple of black eyes and a broken nose but I read him/her every week.

What of this issue? Tony, my advice to you is to remember this. Never does a good turn ever go unpunished. But I think you know that. My readers rant; about 5% of people are disposed to becoming alcoholics. The rest of us over the course of our lifetime can step in and out of the drug. Some 90% of people trying heroin become hooked, and it does f&*% their lives up. Completely. Never mind the few trendy intellectuals you know, get your arse back to Glasgow to take a peek. Mind you Tony, another class column this week, I loved it.

Flic read my Tarot Cards last week at the opening of her new shop, Rags to Bitches in the Northern Quarter, confirming that I am not going to prison and that I have every chance of breaking up the Scott Trust, closing Smooth FM, selling the Guardian off, putting the £500 million quids worth back into Manchester, publishing a proper daily that does Mancunians proud, whilst giving Carmel her own mag. But, that’s another story. Gordo may still be in the gutter, well, on the pavement maybe, but he is looking at the stars… Flic’s column is on form and Gordo is getting excited at the thought of her singing on pianos. Or not, as the case may be.

New Order? Hooky is on form reviewing albums, the main interview with the band is spot on, and Jonathan Schofield proves he is a masochist by eating in the Piccadilly Hotel’s ‘Arts Grill’ (Arts my Arse) and giving his lowest score yet. The blond with the black eyes and broken nose tells of derring-do on a canal (ramming into locks seems to ring true somehow, but I still don’t understand it) and Alan Wise does a bloody class review of Establishment. Although you need to have canine eyes to read it.

It’s a Gordo Go. David Lloyd, for a Scouser you aren’t a bad lad really. Buy the little bugger, it’s good. A steal at £1.50. Any newsagent near you.

Happy Trails


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