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City Councillor Involved in Slave Trade

Has the council lost its senses? It took hundreds of years for Manchester to help rid the North West of the infamous slave trading of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, only to find that Manchester City Council has started tree trading...

Published on November 9th 2006.

City Councillor Involved in Slave Trade

Tree Rape

ManchesterConfidential.com are dismayed at Manchester City Council’s appalling kidnap of a live Nordman Fir Tree from its natural habitat on the beautiful slopes of Nyklinger Fjord in northern Norway.

The Nordman Fir, once a beautiful, sleek 15 metre high lush, proud tree has had the stuffing knocked out of her. Now a pitiful 10 metres, the Nordman Fir (real name Benta) has lost much foliage, with huge gaps in her lower regions, covered up by some tacky angels.

ManchesterConfidential.com have, at great expense, brought the world renowned tree whisperer, Jennifer Blakkeford, to Manchester to hear from Benta herself.

“I have never been so sad in my life”, Benta told Jenny in uncontrollable tears. “This mentalist with a shovel, I think he called Cllr Pat Carnage, just dug me up, threw me in a dark metal container with no water or food, for weeks, then when I eventually arrived I found that four of my friends died on the way over. Now I am here on my own with no friends. This Cllr Pat Carnage was telling his friends, one with a funny hairdo, I think he called Emperor Bobby Bernstein, that he was going to take me to a place after he has abused me for weeks that is a park where I will be all alone for the rest of my life. This isn’t fair. Trees have souls too…”

ManchesterConfidential.com can now confirm that the low life tree traders are Cllr Pat Karney and other members of the council. Have they not learnt the lessons that Liverpool did many years ago that tree trading is wrong, you only finish up with the burden of chips on shoulders for many decades to come? God will punish these despicable profiteers of tree trading.

(Name of Correspondent (he’s fat, ginger and balding – Ed) withheld for his own safety)

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