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By Royal Appointment
Ben Patey, after stalking a scally, stalks a sovereign
Bumbling about near Marks and Spencer, I decide to ask one of my old scally friends where Urbis is?
“You know. Where the Queen is visiting?” I reiterate.
“The who?” comes the response.
Useless, finally I find myself down at Victoria Station to see Her Majesty the Queen. I want to know why people come and see Liz. Are the days of well-wishers a thing of the past? Is she really named after Freddy Mercury’s band?
I’m only an hour early yet I cut a pretty solitude figure amongst the policeman and confused passengers coming into Victoria. I approach a British Transport police officer
“Where is everyone? I thought there would be crowds of well-wishers here by now."
“I think those days are gone aren’t they," he replies. “I was in Burnley last week for Prince Charles’ arriving. People were more interested in the trains. You get a lot of train enthusiasts at things like this but not too many royalists anymore.”
After standing by an anorak for a bit, I finally spot a group holding cameras and flowers. Well-wishers. I go over and stand by them. It turns out they’ve travelled from the South to see Her Majesty. One woman wouldn’t give me an exact figure of how many times she’d visited the Queen but admitted it was "a lot more than twenty". I ask her and her companion what motivates them to travel for such lengths to see someone for a fleeting moment.
“We believe in the monarchy,” the other woman declares abruptly. She clearly hates me.
“We’re different," explains the nice lady. “It’s a hobby, a chance to meet old friends."
She gives me a few pointers on what to do if the Queen comes near us. I’m told that she rarely shakes hands.
“I was going to go for a kiss on the cheek,” I quip. No-one laughs. I’m politely shunned before I can ask my next question. “What do you think of Mohammed Al Fayed calling Prince Phillip a Nazi?”
Before long, more people join the flower crusade, clearly acquaintances from well-wishing rendezvous gone by. They compare notes on photos they’ve taken of the Queen and programmes they’ve watched about the Queen. It’s all rather bizarre. A mother and cute baby take up position on my right. The flower crusade remain on my left. I’m in prime position and feeling optimistic about a close-up of the monarch.
“There’s the royal train,” the mother tells her sleeping baby. A few people then precede the Queen carrying cases and umbrellas. I wonder if the Queen has ever felt rain on her head. I bet she’s the least rained on woman in England. Rain. Reign. Geddit?
Bloody hell. She’s coming right up to me and the flower crusade. I’m concentrating too much on my photo to take in the situation. The Queen is right in front of me. I suppose that’s rather exciting - at least it should be. Yet I was more excited when I met Dr Karl Kennedy from Neighbours. Still, the photo comes out a beaut.
After the Queen gets in her car, I follow a woman who looks assertive. She is talking to her friend about "smashing weather" and "brilliant sunshine". The Queen’s English don’t you know.
The pair discuss strategic positioning outside Urbis whilst I marvel at the woman’s amazing backcombed hair. She looks a little bit like a porcupine. Getting bored of waiting with the porcupine, I go and look at the police horses - crapping everywhere as usual.
There are not many young people about but I spot one youth who doesn’t look like he’s simply bunked off school.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“Something a bit different innit - seeing the Queen and that.”And that’s what it seems to be to most people. Just something a little different. Well-wishers collect Queen’s visits in the same way a stamp collector amasses stamps - something to catalogue in an album.
Perhaps there are a few real royal devotees left but I sense they’re a dying breed. My editor, who's proud of the fact that he knows these things, says tens of thousands lined the streets when King George V opened the Central Library in the 1930s. That passion seems to have disappeared. And it's worse than that when you think that a lot of the crowd with me is made up of people just extending their smoking break to get a glimpse of the Royal enigma.
Shortly before Her Majesty comes out of Urbis, a class of schoolchildren line up ready to meet her. For them, the Queen is a figure of untainted royal authority - still fairytale. She talks to them patiently, making them feel special, like a lovely Grandma. Meanwhile some old people curse each other for deciding to switch places in the line.
One battleaxe berates the “fucking policewoman”, who told them the Queen may be walking to the side of the barrier where they are now stood.
I watch as the flower crusaders go home, happy with their latest photos. The slightly-demented old people continue to mutter, rueing the day they only nearly got a photo of the Queen. Unfortunately they just weren’t as strategically astute as the seasoned well-wishers. The street sweeper looks bemused as he cleans up the horse crap and I make my way up to Market Street, with tremendous love and affection for the Queen, though I’m a little unsure why.
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Off with their heads
It appears there's already a few queens in given you bitch*n ladies. Double edged sword, they cost us money, but they also generate a lot of money??
not a one has come forward with founded reasons as to why their still our keepers so, leaves me to beg the question why are they there ?
No insight or comments from yourself then lol.
Nonsense. The Monarch is head of state and wonderfully above it all. Just about every other head of state in a presidential system is susceptible to corruption, our Queen is not. She also gives us identity, a link with our great history.
Sausage, My taxes, well all of our taxes are partially going to these people who are supposedly guardians of people... and yes it's tied into it. my pint was clearly stated that there of no importance and have no power of influence, And more so from the start, "should we cut them from the nations purse strings" not abolish them! just not fund them... and harrys ganja farm and nazi weekends ???
I'm a royalist because it's part of our heritage, it's woven into the fabric of our country for over a thousand years. Why get rid of it now. Why do we have to get abolish or poke fun at everything that doesn't fit in with 'Modern Britain.' I'm for the monarchy!
Seakay what ever would mean ?
it all adds up......... I'd much prefer the "14p" (which I really doubt that this figure is totally correct) to go to the homeless or the NSPCC or groups that are REALLY in need of this monies. "It all adds up" for sure you can make a donation on my behalf to either of the above I mentioned, thanking you kindly :o)
I agree, great article with wonderful potential for comment and intelligent debate ruined by some idiot. Is there no editor out there watching this unfold?
Jamie i say go and find you magic torch shine down you ears and please to god come back and tell me when you've found something
fair point, Tommo, but this way he is sometimes funny, whereas in real life I am sure hat he is quite scary.
Jamie, does the "Queen" give you idenity?
Hang on a minute, the MEN reported today on its website that: "THE Queen and Prince Philip were greeted by warm applause from crowds of well-wishers as they arrived at Manchester Victoria today."You seem to suggest that those crowds of wellwishers amounted to a few swivel-eyed royal followers and, er, you... I'm sure one of you must be wrong... I wonder who it is?
the costs associated with the roayl family come to about 14pence UK resident. Considering a large part of the world look up to us because of the Royal family, (whether you like it or not) - 14pence is not really too much to sweat over, is it now? Nathan - I'll give you your 14p if it makes you happier.
I think Nathan Yoda is. Except The Force he has not.
Progression not regression, Just bring my bills down I mean if they were all for us why not stop the Energy companies hiking their prices when clearly they don't need it after announcing yet again record profits.... There out dated and of no importance or influence so other than living moving piece of history what are we paying for here ???
I love this place and have been a regular for many years. The men's t-shirts are great and I've never quibble over the price as I'd rather pay a little more for a t-shirt that is not going to be on every lad's chest when I go out on a Friday night.
Does anyone have ANY idea what Nathan is trying to say?
Nathan you're not making sense. What has your energy bill got to do with the monarchy debate? You're not helping your argument.
I'm just guessing here but my money's on Nathan being drunk. Oh and English is clearly not his/her first language.
I think that you mean jackass (no capitalisation required unless you are talkng about a TV programme and not using an insult) and their riches.I'm not sure wo your are talking about when you describe the royal family as facing the possibility of having to ship out - William III was invited to take power.
is it not about time we cut them form the nations purse strings ???
Girls, girls, GIRLS - the auld queen would be proud if she read this as there's certainly a lot of people on her image posting here (ie queens). I think I fancy youse all ;-)On the main point though, Jamie, you originally said that Lizzie Windsor is better than an elected alternative as she is above corruption. The reason why the pampered daugther of a Nazi-lover is above corruption is because she is the richest blooming woman in the country! I resent paying for her both directly through the cash we give her to indirectly to the kind of money that is spent every time she steps outside one of her many palaces from cops to road sweepers to the royal bleeding train! She's the biggest recipient of social security in the country AND, most importantly of all, HATES Manchester. When was the last time she stayed here, for example? And she's visited flipping New Zealand more often than she's visited here. I remember seeing her sour old face whenever the lovely Kirsty Howard gave her the Commonwealth thingummy in 2002. You could tell she would rather have been in Bavaria eating gateaux! Grrr!Normally I'm nice, so I'm going to sign this anonymous!
3rd time)is it not about time we cut them from the nations purse strings ???” ”
Nathan, so you say that's your last comment. Good let's make sure it is. There will be other stories along very soon.
The Queen hates Manchester. She has said as much in the past. Its also interesting to note that she has visited Australia more times than she has visited Manchester. She would rather travel to the other side of the world to bless a bunch of ex-cons and native killers with her presence than jump on the 9.20 from Euston to see 'her' country's second city.Appreciation works both ways Lizzie.
Jonathan, Johnathan whatever happen to free speech ? tut tut tut trying to block me shame on you
Are you asking for information? I'm sure that a careful Internet search will provide you with the answers, or you could not bother and make another statement based on ignorance. Hmm, I wonder which option you'll go for?
I a big gay ! ask nicely and i'll give you my number ;o)
Hello Jonathan,I've not stopped anyone from speaking their minds, and may I ask your thoughts ?my last comment on this is if their oh so supreme, why are home grown terrorists not charge with treason ???
Everyone. Don't even argue with Nathan. He's obviously lost his marbles
Nathan, honestly, World War II, was not started by the Royals. It was started by a little man with a silly mustache who couldn't get over the fact his country had lost WWI. The probably with a lot of anti-monarchy rants are that they are predicated on some weird form of jealousy, as if the 'common' man would see any of that money if the institution were abolished.
Nathan, you've done it again. Are you very angry and writing in haste? Anyway the royals (kings, queens, tribal leaders)came about as the traditional form of government in all societies. Then the British middle class became stronger - including a bit of a civil war, you know - and royal power was curtailed until it became what we see today. It's evolution, it's an impressive and strong tradition of change done slowly which makes our democracy both resilient and equitable.
Jamie have you found anything yet lol
Seakay, who got them all there riches they they "gave up".... wasn't it give up or ship out at time of this happening ???
okay Jamie in "simple" terms just for yourself. Before goverment how did the royals come to be about ???Answer that and maybe... but i seriously doubt it you'd correct that opinion.......... Jak ass
I guess an archaic system is what we, some people need in their lives.......... If anybody says history then I'm guessing racism, selective breeding, and generally just plain butchery is your bag then
Seakay, and beeing as up yr arse as yourself it not "future William IIIs education from Wikipedia" it's just "William IIIs education from Wikipedia".As always much love Nathan x
Before goverment you numpty how'd yuo think they even came to power lol
It doesn't matter what the ppl want... it never has mattered.. they will always be around. Nothing to be done about it.. new age monarchy is bringing about some change anyway.. nice one Prince Harry..proud kiddo.
Seakay when did the royals give up their art collections ?
No worries I'm terrible with dates ??? but, That sort of role is not handed to just anyboby it decided and planned yrs in advance.... Goverment... well top ranked goverment is the same so either way Royals or Goverment we're screwed. Just want the tax to come down and to spent wisely keeping on track of things
Nathan, I think this isn't getting us anywhere. So please stop the comments. There is a debate to be had here but not this way. Let others have their say now.
Some please give some insight so i can fight my own battles ;o(
I work in an office in the old corn exchange building, or Traingle as its called now, overlooking exchange square. I walked past all the police men when I was coming into work, only they had signs saying "serious accident here, witnesses needed" so it looks like they were trying to cover up the fact that they were stood there because of the Queens visit. I still never knew she was there, and all I or any of my 5 colleagues had to do was look out of the window!
Jamie, I see where your going but if you honestly believe that it was all acrimonious then more fool you, II world war was started because of the pompous and if you put your faith in this I feel truly sorry for you. Yes I'm angered at the fact these ppl live in the best conditions and have it literally handed to them on plate when there's children/families in this country under the breadline, I could think of many things to do with the MILLIONS "we" pay just for ferrying them about..... Guess I your right I'm pi$$ed off and want a refund
What is Martin on about?
Nathan is right - we'd all be a lot better off if the royals stopped collecting money from the civil list and took back all the things that they gave up in return for a yearly allowance - like absolute power.
Thank you for reproducing a section about the future William IIIs education from Wikipedia - not sure why you did it but thank you anyway.By the way, do not criticise others for continuing a discussion of WWII which you first mentioned - we cannot be expected to know that II world war is your way of saying World War I.
Seakay, If the royals had their way you'd be on a boat outa here (no offence) and you stated that the people wanted him to take the crown ( bolloxz ) and i ammend my comment as i would always do when occasionally.... ;o).... I'm wrong lol
Why don't you two swap numbers and have a good old debate on the phone. Put the world to rights
2nd) is it not about time we cut them fromm the nations purse strings ???”
my bad Jamie i thought you would of known it was wwI ???v (typo)
Nathan is cool, step back and take in the wider picture peeps
The Monarchy is dead - long live Ben Patey!
Please someone block Nathan
(gotta stop copyin ppls) name and is a debate "Yawn" step back and sit down or MASTER yr DEBATING elsewhere OR make your statement ???
and if your stating I'm wrong somewhere here please do state as and where ?
Cheers Tommo but it's reet thxz lol
Nathan, I don't even understand that sentence. Maybe try and put capital letters in the right place, and check your spelling.
I was passing through spinningfields when the queen was there must have been all of 70 odd 'wellwishers' there...
Funny article! What's with Nathan ranting a million times?!Crazy guy
I know Ben Patey’s article about last week’s visit to Manchester by The Queen was probably meant to be humorous and rather tongue in cheek but I was offended by it. His schoolboy-type humour becomes boring after a while.
Doomsday book.... who did that and whats that all about ???
Silly sausage lolIn another 1000 yrs how primitive are they going think we are as we'll do now as to only about 100yrs ago
Nathan, I'm bored of you now. Please go away and learn some grammar and spelling and a basic slice of history.
Although there was an alright turn out for this, it's true, the royalists and hardcore wellwishers are dying out. People prefer reality TV 'stars'
Missed the Queen but LOVE the Justice Centre - fantastic, iconic building.
pint.... point lol But with a little tax cuts we could all have few of both !!! well there's hoping i suppose lol (for some of us at least ;o)
Saykey, Below really does state that the "PEOPLE" of this country want him to be crowned... oh and himself as welllol read on On 25 September 1660 the States of Holland resolved to take charge of William's education to ensure he would acquire the skills necessary to serve in an as yet undetermined future state function. This first involvement of the authorities would not last long, however. On 23 December 1660, when William was just ten years old, his mother died of smallpox at Whitehall Palace, London while visiting her brother King Charles II. In her will, Mary designated Charles as William's legal guardian. Charles now demanded the States of Holland end their interference; to appease the powerful king they complied on 30 September 1661. Charles delegated his share of the responsibility to William's paternal grandmother, the Princess Dowager Amalia, with the understanding that she seek Charles's advice when necessary. Charles continued corresponding with his nephew. In 1661, Lord Zuylestein began to work for Charles, cooperating with the English ambassador George Downing, the de facto English spymaster in the Dutch Republic. Zuylestein induced William to write letters to the English king asking his uncle to interfere on his behalf to improve his prospects on the stadtholderate. Charles then exploited this issue for political leverage, trying to sow dissension in Dutch society between the Orangists and the republican "States" faction.The Dutch authorities did their best at first to ignore these intrigues, but in the Second Anglo-Dutch War they became impossible to avoid as one of Charles's standard peace conditions was the improvement of the position of his nephew. As a countermeasure in 1666, when William was sixteen, the States of Holland officially made him a ward of the government, or a "Child of State," a legal novum. The Amsterdam burgomasters Cornelis de Graeff and Gillis Valckenier were involved in his training. Amalia's consent was obtained by granting her a considerable state pension, something William would never forgive her for. William was supposedly made a ward to prepare him for a role in the nation's government, although what this role would be exactly, was again left unspecified. A direct result was that all pro-English elements, first of all Lord Zuylestein, were removed from William's company. William was heartbroken by this and in tears begged Grand Pensionary Johan de Witt to allow Lord Zuylestein to stay. De Witt, the leading politician of the Republic, refused, but took part of William's education into his own hands, instructing him weekly in state matters — and joining him in a regular game of real tennis. William and De Witt, both having introverted and outwardly emotionally restrained characters, failed to become close friends. In 1667, the core of the English navy was destroyed by the Raid on the Medway, and the subsequent Treaty of Breda made no mention of William. In September 1668, Amalia and Frederick William declared that William had reached the age of majority; a void act as boys only attained majority at 23 and a special permit had to be obtained for an earlier age. Although no such permit ever was issued, the declaration was condoned by the authorities to avoid raising political tensions.
Abject apologies Nathan, I assumed that he didn't become king until he was crowned in 1689 (or possibly in December 1688 when he was offered the crown) ie when he was 38 or 39.
I'm in work act lol, and your right BS is my 1st language seems to fit reet along with yourself but please please please tell me it ain't so, I'm guessing Jinky you think either your perfect or the what you have in mind eyes is ..... Japs eyes more likes lil jinkies