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Wonky beats cups?

Sleuth finds wonkiness abounds with fairies joining in

Published on November 11th 2010.


Wonky beats cups?

Sleuth, Confidential’s man of many faces, was investigating the cake tins of town with his outsize magnifying glass when he came face to face with Danielle Gibson.

“With everybody using them in conventions, business meetings, weddings, kids parties and so forth, surely the sheer saturation of cup cakes must inevitably lead to tedium and thus a loss of allure. The next craze must come soon,” said the voices in his head.

“You,” she said pointing, “are lost in an aimless world of cup cake hatred, but lo! salvation is at hand with the coming of wonky cakes. Your pain will be assuaged by the NEXT BIG THING.”

Sleuth put aside his outsize magnifying glass and put in his ear trumpet.

Some of Sleuth's ear trumpets

“Wonky cakes, fine lady?” he said. “Tell me more of these things of which you speak?”

“They are cakes, larger than cup cakes, that tilt and twist like the Leaning Tower of Pisa having a party,” said Danielle of design practice, Space Group. “Only they are edible and toothsome and quite the thing after the saturation of cup cakeyness has lain waste to the land.”

Sleuth was amazed and heartened. He looked into the matter. Wonky Cakes apparently used to be massive. They were alternative wedding cakes, or big party cakes, but the size has come right down, so a wonky cake can be a mere third larger than a typical cup cake. They may be the next essential eye-catcher for the party poser. The time is ripe.

Sleuth thus emboldened girded up his loins and pulled on his woolly goggles and made his way to Waitrose.

But what was this?

Yes, there in plain vision, as bold as brass, as obvious as elephants were FAIRY CAKES not cup cakes. Waitrose had opted for the sweet English version of the lushly topped cakelets. Something was afoot.

Sleuth took a photograph.

Photograph of the fairy cakes

Back in his laboratory Sleuth studied the graph of 2009/2010’s cup cake invasion.

“With everybody using them in conventions, business meetings, weddings, kids' parties and so forth, surely the sheer saturation of cup cakes must inevitably lead to tedium and thus a loss of allure. The next craze must come soon,” said the voices in his head.

“Cup cakes are finished. Why not wonky cakes?” said some other voices in his head.

The evidence is there for all to see. Has the crown of cup cakes slipped? Should we listen to the voices in Sleuth’s head?

Follow Sleuth on twitter Sleuth

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CheesmanNovember 11th 2010.

Life is good if cup cakes have fallen.

Anon TooNovember 11th 2010.

Have you not heard of Lollicakes? Apparently they're the new big thing and they'rZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...oh, I give up. I really do.

LozzyNovember 11th 2010.

Hmm ok so i want a bit of cake after lunch. I know I'll have a massive wonky cake? Why do people insist on tryin to get rid of cupcakes? does it matter if they're used a lot? theres prob a reason why theyre popular. I notice no mention of cost in this post either...for something of that detail they're either rubbish quality or expensive - nice little advert for them though.

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